Last night I was watching the lightning bugs, and there were so many that they looked like the camera flashes in the stadium when the Superbowl Halftime Show begins. It was so surreal and beautiful that I found it difficult to keep looking.... it was like trying to look into the face of God.... a beauty so intense it might burn out my eyes.
The light show made me think about how abundant life is here and how it seems unfair that so many other parts of the world are dealing with death, destruction, and desolation. But I imagine that this is the natural ebb and flow of life around the globe. Sometimes I think that all those bugs flashing lights in the night are part of the tsunami of energy released into the world earlier this year. Everything is connected, right? And if the huge earthquake in Japan caused waves in groundwater thousands of miles away from it, then why couldn't all that energy vented from inside the earth have other waves of consequences across the planet?
Showing posts with label shamanism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shamanism. Show all posts
Monday, June 20, 2011
Monday, January 12, 2009
A Devil Put Aside For Me
My animus has been drained by all of the events of the last few years, especially last year. I'm speaking of the Jungian idea of the "life energy" that keeps us going. Jung was basically describing the psychology of shamanism, so if you think he was a crackpot then I guess I am one too. ;-) His "science" wasn't that of experiments and formulas but of observation, perception, and intuition. Maybe he was more of a philosopher than a scientist, but does it really matter so much?
Human nature has changed little, if at all, since humans have become literate. We're no better or smarter, really, than the people who lived thousands of years ago. Maybe we are a little cleaner and more comfortable, but ultimately we have not eliminated our biological and animalistic instincts and urges. Through neither "behavioral" therapy nor "cognitive" therapy have we succeeded in defeating our basic nature. And why should we anyway?
Even the Bible tells us this:
For those who think the Bible is only full of stories of an angry, immature God, well, they just don't know.
I need to regain my health and well-being, whatever it takes. The drive of self-preservation has kicked in, so to speak. So much of my life has been spent on others - helping them heal, helping them die, helping them with whatever demons they were fighting. This is the job of a shaman after all. But even the shaman needs healing sometimes. There is a time for all things. The Bible tells us this too:
The hunter has to hunt. The cat has to prowl. The cougar has to prey. The trickster has to trick, and the joker has to joke. Jung would agree.
"Ten Years Gone" Led Zeppelin
Human nature has changed little, if at all, since humans have become literate. We're no better or smarter, really, than the people who lived thousands of years ago. Maybe we are a little cleaner and more comfortable, but ultimately we have not eliminated our biological and animalistic instincts and urges. Through neither "behavioral" therapy nor "cognitive" therapy have we succeeded in defeating our basic nature. And why should we anyway?
Even the Bible tells us this:
The Futility of All Endeavor
1 The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.
2 “Vanity of vanities,” says the Preacher, “Vanity of vanities! All is vanity.”
3 What advantage does man have in all his work Which he does under the sun?
4 A generation goes and a generation comes, But the earth remains forever.
5 Also, the sun rises and the sun sets; And hastening to its place it rises there again.
6 Blowing toward the south, Then turning toward the north, The wind continues swirling along; And on its circular courses the wind returns.
7 All the rivers flow into the sea, Yet the sea is not full. To the place where the rivers flow, There they flow again.
8 All things are wearisome; Man is not able to tell it. The eye is not satisfied with seeing, Nor is the ear filled with hearing.
9 That which has been is that which will be, And that which has been done is that which will be done. So there is nothing new under the sun.
10 Is there anything of which one might say, “See this, it is new”? Already it has existed for ages Which were before us.
11 There is no remembrance of earlier things; And also of the later things which will occur, There will be for them no remembrance Among those who will come later still.
Ecclesiastes 1:1-11
For those who think the Bible is only full of stories of an angry, immature God, well, they just don't know.
I need to regain my health and well-being, whatever it takes. The drive of self-preservation has kicked in, so to speak. So much of my life has been spent on others - helping them heal, helping them die, helping them with whatever demons they were fighting. This is the job of a shaman after all. But even the shaman needs healing sometimes. There is a time for all things. The Bible tells us this too:
A Time for Everything
1 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—
2 A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance.
5 A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
6 A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; A time to be silent and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate; A time for war and a time for peace.
9 What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils? 10 I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-10
The hunter has to hunt. The cat has to prowl. The cougar has to prey. The trickster has to trick, and the joker has to joke. Jung would agree.
"Ten Years Gone" Led Zeppelin
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Shine On You Crazy Carbon 2
I really like this title. ;-)
July 29 on The Colbert Report there was an interview with Eric Roston about his book "The Carbon Age: How Life's Core Element Has Become Civilization's Greatest Threat":
His statements at first are pretty sensible, but since I haven't read the book or much about it I don't know if he moves towards the silliness of the "climate crisis" and all that garbage. But the video is pretty funny.
Well, there are some passages from another book (first published 1990) that I've read while doing some of my shamanic studies. The passages are from the part of the book that examines the Earth element, also associated with the direction West (the four directions and the elements are very central to shamanic thinking). I kind of hate to copy whole, long passages, but here they are anyway, with some of my own notes inserted:
Okay, maybe those statements aren't exactly scientifically sophisticated, but it seems they are basically correct. Though I'm only going on my own intuitive understanding which is probably pretty oversimplified. "Motion at rest" is a paradox, but it will be better explained in later quotations.
I think this points to the root of so many of the delusions and false religions that flourish today. On one hand, there are some who insist and require that we abandon all of our material possessions, and any desire for them, in order to feel spiritually clean. But how is rejecting that from which we are made supposed to be a good thing? I don't understand that line of thinking, and it seems to be synonymous with the vilification of carbon.
On the other hand, sure, we should have balance and not be too materialistic at the detriment of our well-being, but to say that one must 'transcend the physical' in order to become fully alive or whatever is kind of crazy. Personally, I'm not in too much of a hurry to transcend this physical existence because it's too short already. That transcendence will come when I die, and I hope that will be a very long time from now. Please, God, allow me as many carbon emissions as possible for at least 3 or 4 more decades. ;-)
And it is one of those basic laws of nature that we, as part of this world, will and should affect it, "to control the material through the use of natural laws and cosmic forces and principles." That is our very nature, and to deny it is insanity.
Whether or not you accept the possibility of some Cosmic Intelligence, the earth truly is a wondrous, beautiful, and pleasurable thing. I know first hand that there are still very many 'pristine' places where man hasn't really altered nature so much, and yes, they are amazing. But we also should acknowledge the beauty and majesty of many of man's creations and alterations of the earth. We get the same kind of pleasure from creating and experiencing material, physical things as that other Creator does. And the results of our works are not always, or even usually, destructive as so many of the false prophets tell us today. We are all a part of this shimmering carbon-based appearance of matter, and I say 'shimmering' because it implies changing, which is absolutely natural and expected.
Again, the scientific veracity of those statements might be naive and simplistic, but it seems to be close enough. And recall that these quotes are from a book first published in 1990 by a non-scientist. The paradox of "matter at rest" basically means that what we see as matter is like a snapshot of a very complex, busy scene. And using my imagination I can see that from the right perspective the universe might really look like a solid object, perhaps a black marble, or even a black hole which might appear as a solid object sometimes too.
Anyway, I appreciate the intuitive wisdom of the shamanic ideas, but it's all too common for people who try to be "spiritual" to develop a very imbalanced view of the world, themselves, and life. I wish that more people would open their eyes to the physical realities instead of taking one idea or concept and making it the paramount concern. Like the weather. The "climate crisis" is a fraud based on some guys who try to tell everyone that our very breathing is helping to "imbalance" the planet's climate. I'm not certain how this trend has evolved, but I suspect that it is some convergence of the religious ideas that humanity is "fallen" and that the Earth should be worshipped. Neither of these ideas is really valid and their offspring, the manmade "climate crisis," is retarded too.
To be sure I'm not misunderstood I want to explicitly say that I am not discounting spirituality and religion. They are important aspects of life. I am only expressing that there must be more acknowledgement and celebration of mankind's physical existence in this physical world, instead of the self-hatred and false charge that we are destroying our world. There is as much imbalance in those who refuse to acknowledge spiritual issues and concerns, but it seems that refusing to appreciate the real physical aspects of existence is even less morally justified.
Just as Meadows said above, the Earth element is the most misunderstood, and this misunderstanding is a key psycho-social reason for the rise of the anti-carbon movement. I don't know if Mr. Roston is just another acolyte trying to convince people that they are somehow responsible for every bad weather that happens, butit's obvious that too many people have it wrong and have placed man at either too high or too low a position in nature instead of placing us precisely on the earth.
And just so I can add the "sermonette" label ;-) I'll close with a scripture:
*means the same as "learn how to control the material through the use of natural laws and cosmic forces and principles"
I'm sorry if this post is disjointed and incomplete because of the many interruptions I've had throughout writing it. Sometimes it's hard to maintain a line of thought with too many breaks. ;-)
July 29 on The Colbert Report there was an interview with Eric Roston about his book "The Carbon Age: How Life's Core Element Has Become Civilization's Greatest Threat":
His statements at first are pretty sensible, but since I haven't read the book or much about it I don't know if he moves towards the silliness of the "climate crisis" and all that garbage. But the video is pretty funny.
Well, there are some passages from another book (first published 1990) that I've read while doing some of my shamanic studies. The passages are from the part of the book that examines the Earth element, also associated with the direction West (the four directions and the elements are very central to shamanic thinking). I kind of hate to copy whole, long passages, but here they are anyway, with some of my own notes inserted:
The characteristics of Elemental Earth are solidity, inertia and stability. It is motion at rest. Elemental Earth is elemental 'substance' coming into form and shape and becoming tangible and recognisible - coming 'down to earth.' Matter is that which appears to be. It is important to bear in mind that matter is an appearance, and it is this that makes Elemental Earth perhaps the least understood of the elemental substances.
Okay, maybe those statements aren't exactly scientifically sophisticated, but it seems they are basically correct. Though I'm only going on my own intuitive understanding which is probably pretty oversimplified. "Motion at rest" is a paradox, but it will be better explained in later quotations.
On a practical level, we spend much of our time being concerned with the acquisition of physical, tangible things, but at the same time we dislike the restrictions and limitations that the material puts on us. The West is the place of the material, of appearances, of the world of form, of physical manifestation and of learning to cope with it.
You cannot develop your spiritual awareness by rejecting the material or turning your back on it. The physical and material is all part of Creation, not a secretion to be got rid of in some mistaken quest for 'spirituality', not something to be flushed away as something 'not nice.' Don't allow yourself to be misled by a sense of false spirituality. You are here in the material world of form, and part of the reason for your being here is to learn how to control the material through the use of natural laws and cosmic forces and principles [emphasis mine]. Spiritual work is of little value unless it can be 'earthed.'
I think this points to the root of so many of the delusions and false religions that flourish today. On one hand, there are some who insist and require that we abandon all of our material possessions, and any desire for them, in order to feel spiritually clean. But how is rejecting that from which we are made supposed to be a good thing? I don't understand that line of thinking, and it seems to be synonymous with the vilification of carbon.
On the other hand, sure, we should have balance and not be too materialistic at the detriment of our well-being, but to say that one must 'transcend the physical' in order to become fully alive or whatever is kind of crazy. Personally, I'm not in too much of a hurry to transcend this physical existence because it's too short already. That transcendence will come when I die, and I hope that will be a very long time from now. Please, God, allow me as many carbon emissions as possible for at least 3 or 4 more decades. ;-)
And it is one of those basic laws of nature that we, as part of this world, will and should affect it, "to control the material through the use of natural laws and cosmic forces and principles." That is our very nature, and to deny it is insanity.
Do you not think that it gave pleasure to the Cosmic Intelligence to bring the physical world of form into manifestation? Go out into the countryside or into a park or woodland and look around you at the beauty of the natural Earth. Even though man has shaped most of it by farming, does it not give you a thrill of pleasure to absorb its magnificence? We are not intended to reject the material in preference for some nebulous spiritual alternative, but to appreciate the physical and at the same time to look for the reality behind it. Both in equal partnership.
Whether or not you accept the possibility of some Cosmic Intelligence, the earth truly is a wondrous, beautiful, and pleasurable thing. I know first hand that there are still very many 'pristine' places where man hasn't really altered nature so much, and yes, they are amazing. But we also should acknowledge the beauty and majesty of many of man's creations and alterations of the earth. We get the same kind of pleasure from creating and experiencing material, physical things as that other Creator does. And the results of our works are not always, or even usually, destructive as so many of the false prophets tell us today. We are all a part of this shimmering carbon-based appearance of matter, and I say 'shimmering' because it implies changing, which is absolutely natural and expected.
Physical objects only look and feel solid because their atoms are spinning at fantastic speeds. As in a movie, people and vehicles appear to move but what we are seeing is a succession of static pictures being projected at such a speed that there appears to be movement, but the appearance is, in fact, an illusion. An atom is mostly space. If it were possible to expand a single atom to the size of a sports stadium like Wembley in West London, England, or the Giants stadium in New Jersey, USA, its centre or nucleus would be the size of a pea in a referee's whistle. If this were placed in the centre spot, the electrons would be whirling around it at the tops of the grandstands.
All matter is as roomy as the universe appears to be, and atom particles are like the stars and planets moving about in a continual pattern. If we could travel far enough away in outer space and look back at the universe it too would appear solid.
Kenneth Meadows, The Medicine Way, pages 119-120
Again, the scientific veracity of those statements might be naive and simplistic, but it seems to be close enough. And recall that these quotes are from a book first published in 1990 by a non-scientist. The paradox of "matter at rest" basically means that what we see as matter is like a snapshot of a very complex, busy scene. And using my imagination I can see that from the right perspective the universe might really look like a solid object, perhaps a black marble, or even a black hole which might appear as a solid object sometimes too.
Anyway, I appreciate the intuitive wisdom of the shamanic ideas, but it's all too common for people who try to be "spiritual" to develop a very imbalanced view of the world, themselves, and life. I wish that more people would open their eyes to the physical realities instead of taking one idea or concept and making it the paramount concern. Like the weather. The "climate crisis" is a fraud based on some guys who try to tell everyone that our very breathing is helping to "imbalance" the planet's climate. I'm not certain how this trend has evolved, but I suspect that it is some convergence of the religious ideas that humanity is "fallen" and that the Earth should be worshipped. Neither of these ideas is really valid and their offspring, the manmade "climate crisis," is retarded too.
To be sure I'm not misunderstood I want to explicitly say that I am not discounting spirituality and religion. They are important aspects of life. I am only expressing that there must be more acknowledgement and celebration of mankind's physical existence in this physical world, instead of the self-hatred and false charge that we are destroying our world. There is as much imbalance in those who refuse to acknowledge spiritual issues and concerns, but it seems that refusing to appreciate the real physical aspects of existence is even less morally justified.
Just as Meadows said above, the Earth element is the most misunderstood, and this misunderstanding is a key psycho-social reason for the rise of the anti-carbon movement. I don't know if Mr. Roston is just another acolyte trying to convince people that they are somehow responsible for every bad weather that happens, butit's obvious that too many people have it wrong and have placed man at either too high or too low a position in nature instead of placing us precisely on the earth.
And just so I can add the "sermonette" label ;-) I'll close with a scripture:
27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue* it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” 29 Then God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the surface of all the earth, and every tree which has fruit yielding seed; it shall be food for you; 30 and to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the sky and to every thing that moves on the earth which has life, I have given every green plant for food”; and it was so. 31 God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.
Genesis 1:27-31
*means the same as "learn how to control the material through the use of natural laws and cosmic forces and principles"
I'm sorry if this post is disjointed and incomplete because of the many interruptions I've had throughout writing it. Sometimes it's hard to maintain a line of thought with too many breaks. ;-)
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Unusual Fossil
Sometimes being a packrat is rewarding. I've finally been unpacking some boxes from when we moved into our house seven years ago, and what treasures I've rediscovered!
Back in the pre-momma days we liked to go rock and fossil hunting. The local area has many places where fossils are easily found if you know where to look. I had completely forgotten about this particular kind that we'd found at least 15 years ago.
What does it look like to you?
My best guess for its identity is some kind of Stromatoporoid, but a Google search for "vulva-like fossil" doesn't yield much. You'd think such a curious thing would be a big Google hit, or at least I would think that. ;-)
Well, if any geologists or other experts know for certain what this fossil is then please do leave a comment to let me know. Thanks!
Oh, and isn't Nature fascinating? Who would have thought that the vulva form could be hundreds of millions of years old? ;-) And the shaman in me wants to think that this fossil is a very powerful talisman...
Back in the pre-momma days we liked to go rock and fossil hunting. The local area has many places where fossils are easily found if you know where to look. I had completely forgotten about this particular kind that we'd found at least 15 years ago.
What does it look like to you?
My best guess for its identity is some kind of Stromatoporoid, but a Google search for "vulva-like fossil" doesn't yield much. You'd think such a curious thing would be a big Google hit, or at least I would think that. ;-)
Well, if any geologists or other experts know for certain what this fossil is then please do leave a comment to let me know. Thanks!
Oh, and isn't Nature fascinating? Who would have thought that the vulva form could be hundreds of millions of years old? ;-) And the shaman in me wants to think that this fossil is a very powerful talisman...
Sunday, March 23, 2008
I Can See Clearly Now
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-shiny day
"I Can See Clearly Now" by Johnny Nash
Happy Easter Sunday, the most holy of the Christian holidays. Easter is early this year, and our weather has been pretty cold but pleasant enough. We had some egg hunts at my dad's house this afternoon. He's not doing as well as he was, mostly because the stupid doctor on Friday told him he was "worse off" than a week ago. You'd think by now they would understand the powerful psychological consequences of their words on their patients. Well, whether we acknowledge it or not our minds and psychology are quite powerful and influential in our fates.
24 Although Thomas the Twin was one of the twelve disciples, he wasn't with the others when Jesus appeared to them.
25 So they told him, "We have seen the Lord!" But Thomas said, "First, I must see the nail scars in his hands and touch them with my finger. I must put my hand where the spear went into his side. I won't believe unless I do this!"
26 A week later the disciples were together again. This time, Thomas was with them. Jesus came in while the doors were still locked and stood in the middle of the group. He greeted his disciples
27 and said to Thomas, "Put your finger here and look at my hands! Put your hand into my side. Stop doubting and have faith!"
28 Thomas replied, "You are my Lord and my God!"
29 Jesus said, "Thomas, do you have faith because you have seen me? The people who have faith in me without seeing me are the ones who are really blessed!"
John 20:24-29
Resurrection is psychologically pleasing. And I really cannot see or find any totally convincing argument against the possibility that our consciousness lives on after the physical body dies. Believe me, I have looked and many people have tried to tell me over the years.
Free will is inherent in humans. It is one of the traits that separates us from the "lower" animals. We determine (or limit) our destiny by our choices. I hope I don't really need to list examples to prove my point. This is a basic fact.
If one chooses to reject an afterlife he is essentially committing spiritual suicide. As a conscious entity, the mind determines whether or not it goes on. If the mind has convinced itself that physical death is the end of its existence, then it will be. This is completely consistent with the Christian idea of accepting, or not, that Jesus's teachings are the true path to God and His (our) Heavenly home (afterlife for our consciousness/mind/soul) somewhere in the whole of the Universe (other than the dimensions we know in physical life). Hell is permanent separation from God, and if the consciousness stops itself at physical death then that's definitely a permanent separation from God, or in other words, spiritual suicide.
Now let me switch over to my shamanic mode for a minute. One of the main jobs of the shaman in a community is to help people prepare for death. Nearly all societies have had some kind of rituals to help people move from one "world" to the next. This is the aspect of shamanism that I have been most uncomfortable about, yet as I look back at my adult life it is one of the most prevalent. Death has been a frequent presence in my adult life. My life situation has always worked out so that I was available to attend to the needs of my aging and dying grandparents. And my mother, and now my father.
I think I've always kind of intuitively known that this was my "purpose," though it has taken many years for me to "fine tune" my understanding (and acceptance) of it. So now, I'm facing the reality of dying and death yet again, and I must use any wisdom gained from all the cumulative experiences to help my dad prepare for the afterlife.
Okay, so in additional to attending to his physical needs during this process I will offer the spiritual support and encouragement that might ease his fear and anxiety about the bodily demise and the soul's movement beyond. I know that he is a believer and that his choice has been made.
Well, I've lost steam for a big finale here. Maybe I'll think of something to add later. Anyway, that is this Easter Sunday's sermonette.
I considered taking a page out of Lee Smolin's playbook and naming this sermonette something very pretentious and academic-sounding like "Resurrection and the Proof of God" (not quite a GUT but almost a TOE). ;-) I mean, now surely, mustn't I be at least as smart (or funny, maybe) as he is? ;-) But my spunky mood faded.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Vicious Momma Gang Sign
update: This post has been linked in a paranormal forum thread about strange body markings, and some whackadoodles have suggested that I was somehow paid to post this to "discredit" the people who think aliens are branding them. Sorry, folks, but there is absolutely NO conspiracy going on here. I simply had an accident with a hair dryer and thought it was funny and wanted to share my experience and complain about a really bad hair dryer design. DUH!! Some people have way too much time to sit around worrying about alien conspiracies. And I would bet a chunk of money that nearly all of the "mysterious markings" that people claim are caused by aliens are just self-inflicted cries for attention.
The mark (3 cm) is still there after 8 days. I've been putting stuff on it to help it heal and hopefully reduce the scarring.
Poll Results
What is the mark on my neck?
A. alien ownership branding 1 (6%)
B. allergic reaction to fetish collar 2 (13%)
C. bite mark of robot vampire 1 (6%)
D. gang initiation sign 2 (13%)
E. accident with made in China hairdryer 9 (60%)
Total Votes: 15
I guess I made the outlandish options a little too outlandish. ;-) Indeed, I was burned by a hairdryer, but in my prejudice against made in China crap I erroneously assumed the offending, defective appliance was made in China. But it was made in Costa Rica. (I couldn't edit the poll after I discovered my error.) I didn't know they made anything there. ;-) Okay, evidently they make lots of stuff there, including evil hair products:
As you can see the metal on the end of the dryer extends past the plastic housing. I think it is clearly a bad and dangerous design. I've had this dryer for probably 10 years though I haven't used it a lot since most days I let my hair air-dry. I've checked the government lists of recalled products, but it isn't listed. It should be. Let me explain how easy it was for me to get burned. Last Monday I was in a hurry and upset because my dad had been put in the hospital with bad pneumonia. Somehow while drying my hair the dryer slipped out of my hand and barely brushed my neck. It happened very fast and at first I didn't think I was burnt that bad because the contact with my skin was so quick. But within an hour the burn was very obvious and painful. I don't know how hot that metal gets, but it must be very hot in order to burn like that.
If I was the suing kind, I think I'd have a decent claim of product liability. I might could even get enough money to pay off the swimming pool. But I kind of think it's immoral to sue just because you can. Well, maybe I'm just an idiot who's passing up a chance to get some money?
Anyway, so all week I've been joking about it being a gang sign or something like that. Some of the most practical advice surprisingly came from my sister who told me to just "wear it with pride." Yeah, what other choice is there? ;-) I've done some research into symbolism and discovered that my mark is pretty similar to the Native American medicine wheel:
But it most resembles a weapon's crosshairs:
Well, I've decided to call it my Vicious Momma gang sign (for leader of the GESDVMs), but some might rather call it the Mark of the Beast, especially considering how evil I was last week. Hopefully, no one will see it and think it is literally a target to shoot. I do think it's kind of ironic how it all went down. In my own personal and private imagination it really does seem like a shamanic initiation mark with some powerful symbolism. For many years I thought I wanted a tattoo but never could decide what and where exactly. Looks like as soon as I got over my desire for a tattoo, I ended up with something anyway. Maybe it won't really be a permanent scar, but I suspect that it will.
The mark (3 cm) is still there after 8 days. I've been putting stuff on it to help it heal and hopefully reduce the scarring.
Poll Results
What is the mark on my neck?
A. alien ownership branding 1 (6%)
B. allergic reaction to fetish collar 2 (13%)
C. bite mark of robot vampire 1 (6%)
D. gang initiation sign 2 (13%)
E. accident with made in China hairdryer 9 (60%)
Total Votes: 15
I guess I made the outlandish options a little too outlandish. ;-) Indeed, I was burned by a hairdryer, but in my prejudice against made in China crap I erroneously assumed the offending, defective appliance was made in China. But it was made in Costa Rica. (I couldn't edit the poll after I discovered my error.) I didn't know they made anything there. ;-) Okay, evidently they make lots of stuff there, including evil hair products:
As you can see the metal on the end of the dryer extends past the plastic housing. I think it is clearly a bad and dangerous design. I've had this dryer for probably 10 years though I haven't used it a lot since most days I let my hair air-dry. I've checked the government lists of recalled products, but it isn't listed. It should be. Let me explain how easy it was for me to get burned. Last Monday I was in a hurry and upset because my dad had been put in the hospital with bad pneumonia. Somehow while drying my hair the dryer slipped out of my hand and barely brushed my neck. It happened very fast and at first I didn't think I was burnt that bad because the contact with my skin was so quick. But within an hour the burn was very obvious and painful. I don't know how hot that metal gets, but it must be very hot in order to burn like that.
If I was the suing kind, I think I'd have a decent claim of product liability. I might could even get enough money to pay off the swimming pool. But I kind of think it's immoral to sue just because you can. Well, maybe I'm just an idiot who's passing up a chance to get some money?
Anyway, so all week I've been joking about it being a gang sign or something like that. Some of the most practical advice surprisingly came from my sister who told me to just "wear it with pride." Yeah, what other choice is there? ;-) I've done some research into symbolism and discovered that my mark is pretty similar to the Native American medicine wheel:
But it most resembles a weapon's crosshairs:
Well, I've decided to call it my Vicious Momma gang sign (for leader of the GESDVMs), but some might rather call it the Mark of the Beast, especially considering how evil I was last week. Hopefully, no one will see it and think it is literally a target to shoot. I do think it's kind of ironic how it all went down. In my own personal and private imagination it really does seem like a shamanic initiation mark with some powerful symbolism. For many years I thought I wanted a tattoo but never could decide what and where exactly. Looks like as soon as I got over my desire for a tattoo, I ended up with something anyway. Maybe it won't really be a permanent scar, but I suspect that it will.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Old Wisdom
I was browsing through a book that I had forgotten about, and found this passage that I want to share. The book is Seven Arrows by Hyemeyohsts Storm and is a story about the Plains Indians and their struggles and triumphs. It also discusses much of their spiritual wisdom, though I have to confess, I haven't read most of it yet. However, I've read a bit about the Native American spiritual ideas and most of them are pretty close to ideas I've independently formed. Anyway, here is just a very small but significant piece of that old wisdom:
To Touch and Feel is to Experience. Many people live out their entire lives without ever really Touching or being Touched by anything. These people live within a world of mind and imagination that may move them sometimes to joy, tears, happines or sorrow. But these people never really Touch. They do not live and become one with life.
The Sun Dancer believes that each person is a unique Living Medicine Wheel, powerful beyond imagination, that has been limited and placed upon this earth to Touch, Experience and Learn. The Six Grandfathers Taught me that each man, woman, and child at one time was a Living Power that existed somewhere in time and space. The Powers were without form, but they were aware. They were alive.
Each Power possessed boundless energy and beauty. These living Medicine Wheels were capable of nearly anthing. They were beautiful and perfect in all ways except one. They had no understanding of limitation, no experience of substance. These Beings were total energy of the Mind, without Body or Heart. They were placed upon this earth that they might Learn the things of the Heart through Touching.
According to the Teachers, there is only one thing that all people possess equally. This is their loneliness. No two people on the face of this earth are alike in any one thing except for their loneliness. This is the cause of our Growing, but it is also the cause of our wars. Love, hate, greed and generosity are all rooted within loneliness, within our desire to be needed and loved.
The only way that we can overcome our loneliness is through Touching. It is only in this way that we can learn to be Total Beings. God is a presence of this Total. Heamavihio, the Breath of Wisdom, and Miaheyyun, Total Understanding, are but two of the words in the Cheyenne language which express this Wholeness.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
The Joker
Some people call me the space cowboy
Yeah
Some call me the gangster of love
"The Joker" by Steve Miller Band
My oldest is very interested in card tricks and other illusionist/magic stuff and was opening a new pack of cards. He asked me why there were always Jokers in decks of cards. Since I don't really know much about card games I told him that it's probably because some games need them, but I don't know for sure.
In Tarot, the Fool card is somewhat related to the Joker somewhere back in their histories.
Please click picture to be able to read the meaning next to it, but "ancana" should be "arcana". Sorry for the error.
Along comes a Trickster.
About six months ago I solved the riddle of my clown phobia.
There is a basic psychological truth that says we most fear those things that reflect the parts of ourselves that we hate or reject. I'm only now, at 39 years old, beginning to accept my fate or role as the Holy Fool, Trickster, Jester, Clown.
This is probably why I was such a quiet and shy child. I refused to be the Clown or Trickster but had not yet learned how to be something else. It took me a long time to learn how to provide comic relief, at least that's how I remember it. ;-) God love her and this is not a serious criticism, but my mother seemed to be startled or puzzled by me most of the time until I became an adult. I think I interpreted her puzzlement as disapproval or some other subtle form of persuasion to subdue my "tricksterness." Well, maybe that's just a bunch of psychobabble. ;-)
Whatever the reasons, being the Joker isn't as bad as my mom or I worried it would be. Maybe it's because being a gangster of love is pretty fun. ;-)
Previous mention of the Trickster
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Name That Box
FeaturelessUnremarkableCommonKind
Trapped In A Box
In the Eyes of God/From the Void/The Eleventh Dimension
Narcissus
Scrying
Spirit House
Birthday Earring
It's a Nice Box
Rottweiler or Psychotic Kitten?
Random Assemblage
Is That Really Me?
Does This Look Vicious?
Sunshine of Your Love
The Joker
This project came about completely by accident when I was decoupaging some of my very favorite paper scraps (left over from the cutest gift wrap I got at Pier 1) to this wooden crate in which Spanish clementines (a type of mandarin orange) are sold. I really love these crates because they are sturdy and good for storing things. Most people probably throw them out with the garbage, but since I'm an old country Redneck I keep stuff like that because I know I'll find a use for them. The picture was just an experiment that I didn't like much, and while reorganizing some things I just kind of tossed the picture into the crate. Then I decided that there was just something compelling about that combination.
Then I ended up kind of mesmerized by it because it seemed to look different every time I looked at it, hence the list above reflecting some of those thoughts and feelings. I've never been happy or comfortable with my appearance, and I always find it puzzling and surprising, as if after 39 years I've never really known my own face. I kind of cringe sometimes when I see pictures of myself, but this project has made me try to look more objectively. Well, I can't honestly say that it has changed anything: I'm still not comfortable or happy with my face.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
No Brainer (or kitten work)
I've done another tarot card this week. It's one that I kind of think of as a "no brainer" because it's meaning is pretty well 'set' and so there's not a lot of variation in the imagery that works. This is part of the tarot system. It's very iconic and representational. Of course, these qualities aren't highly valued in the art world of today. All the hip art is vague and abstract and non-representational in nature. The artists claim that they don't want to impose their vision on anyone else, and so on and blah, blah, blah. Fine. Freedom is cool. But so is some guidance.
I like to think of tarot cards and early tarot readers as the counselors of their day. Oh, I'm not going into the history of tarot other than that it's pretty old, probably from around the fifteenth century or thereabouts. I'm being lazy today and not looking things up and linking. If you don't believe me then look it up yourself and then come back and tell me how wrong I am.
The cards in a tarot deck generally represent milestones, problems, stages of development, etc. that we all face throughout life. Imagine that a person in the sixteenth century was having some emotional concerns and needed some guidance. She probably went to the local 'healer' or 'witch' or 'shaman' or whoever for a 'counseling session' with the cards. Back before mass literacy and paperback self-help books people had to rely on other ways. Of course, they could go to their minister or the church for guidance, but sometimes we need something different from that.
The traditional imagery for the 8 of Wands is of 8 wands (sometimes staves, spears, or arrows) speeding through the air en route to whatever destination. We are only seeing the motion and have no idea where they came from or where they are going. We don't know if they are friendly or antagonistic or in what spirit they went flying. We don't know if they'll hit their target or fall very short or long. All we know is that they are going. They represent urgency. They can indicate important messages or other signals. They might indicate sudden travel. Sometimes they can imply the arrows of love, depending on the context in which the card is chosen. In the broader sense the 8 of Wands means that some issue is at its peak of movement. Nothing can stay in the air forever. Sometimes we just have to take some comfort in knowing that something is moving. And we have to accept that we don't have control over their flight or landing. We just have to let gravity do its work.
And actually, this card can pretty well describe the current environment and issues in Washington, DC, as well as some closer to home. Let the arrows fall where they may. I just hope they don't end up in my, or anyone else's, back.
I like to think of tarot cards and early tarot readers as the counselors of their day. Oh, I'm not going into the history of tarot other than that it's pretty old, probably from around the fifteenth century or thereabouts. I'm being lazy today and not looking things up and linking. If you don't believe me then look it up yourself and then come back and tell me how wrong I am.
The cards in a tarot deck generally represent milestones, problems, stages of development, etc. that we all face throughout life. Imagine that a person in the sixteenth century was having some emotional concerns and needed some guidance. She probably went to the local 'healer' or 'witch' or 'shaman' or whoever for a 'counseling session' with the cards. Back before mass literacy and paperback self-help books people had to rely on other ways. Of course, they could go to their minister or the church for guidance, but sometimes we need something different from that.
The traditional imagery for the 8 of Wands is of 8 wands (sometimes staves, spears, or arrows) speeding through the air en route to whatever destination. We are only seeing the motion and have no idea where they came from or where they are going. We don't know if they are friendly or antagonistic or in what spirit they went flying. We don't know if they'll hit their target or fall very short or long. All we know is that they are going. They represent urgency. They can indicate important messages or other signals. They might indicate sudden travel. Sometimes they can imply the arrows of love, depending on the context in which the card is chosen. In the broader sense the 8 of Wands means that some issue is at its peak of movement. Nothing can stay in the air forever. Sometimes we just have to take some comfort in knowing that something is moving. And we have to accept that we don't have control over their flight or landing. We just have to let gravity do its work.
And actually, this card can pretty well describe the current environment and issues in Washington, DC, as well as some closer to home. Let the arrows fall where they may. I just hope they don't end up in my, or anyone else's, back.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Magical Vines and Adjacent Universes
The VineThat's one of my all-time favorite poems. It's almost pornographic. ;-)
by Robert Herrick
(1591-1674)
I dreamed this mortal part of mine
Was Metamorphoz'd to a Vine;
Which crawling one and every way,
Enthrall'd my dainty Lucia.
Me thought, her long small legs & thighs
I with my Tendrils did surprize;
Her Belly, Buttocks, and her Waste
By my soft Nerv'lits were embrac'd:
About her head I writhing hung,
And with rich clusters (hid among
The leaves) her temples I behung:
So that my Lucia seem'd to me
Young Bacchus ravished by his tree.
My curles about her neck did craule,
And armes and hands they did enthrall:
So that she could not freely stir,
(All parts there made one prisoner.)
But when I crept with leaves to hide
Those parts, which maids keep unespy'd,
Such fleeting pleasures there I took,
That with the fancie I awook;
And found (Ah me!) this flesh of mine
More like a Stock then like a Vine.
A birdhouse gourd vine has 'magically' grown over one of my butterfly bushes. I grew gourds a few years ago but not since (intentionally), so the kids must have broken one in the yard and spilled the seeds. And actually, these 'accidental' ones are growing even better than the intentionally grown ones. There are two large gourds already and many small ones growing and many more blooms to come. It blooms at night with these big 'veiny' but delicate white flowers. They don't smell good, but they kind of glow in the moonlight. There is one starting to open in the photo.It is a single plant that has branched out to cover the butterfly bush and weigh it down. (I don't think it will break.) It's amazing how those tendrils 'know' to grasp onto whatever they touch and wind themselves around it. (That brings to mind images of dna replicating.) There is a primal sensuality about tendrils and vines, as Herrick's "dream" also suggests. And to the overimaginative it could appear to be some kind of rudimentary intelligence that a plant responds to touch and has developed a way to exploit that ability.
This year I've been blessed with many volunteer plants, but this gourd vine is the most surprising and perhaps symbolic. Maybe Nature wants me to make more birdhouses and rattles? Yeah, that's probably it - to make up for the ones I didn't finish last time. Nature always manages to get her way. ;-)
So, why rattles? Well, it's a shamanic thing. Many, probably most, shamans use drums and rattles to "call the spirits" and enter trance states and assorted other things. I'm intimidated by drums. I'm not ready to make that much noise. ;-) And I find myself more receptive to a rattle's sound. But I rarely ever shake a rattle because I don't want the kids to wonder what Momma's doing or to think I'm even that much weirder.
Maybe Nature wants me to make rattles and to actually use them? Great, I can hear it now, "knock-knock-knock Momma? What are you doing?" I think I'll keep one in the kitchen to chase away the "evil spirits" that make my lights go off and on by themselves sometimes. Yes, that really does happen, but I'm assured by the resident electrician that it's not "supernatural" though he hasn't fixed the problem yet. ;-) The rattle will be more fun anyway.
What do magical vines have to do with adjacent universes? Last night when I started this I knew where that was going, but today I'm afraid I can only guess. Maybe I was thinking about the surprises of life and how we handle them. When I found the vine growing on my butterfly bush I could have pulled it out to save the bush from any potential damage. But that seemed too rigid and boring. I like to let things grow and to see what happens. I can imagine that if we ever 'find' an adjacent universe and can actually see into it we should be prepared for surprises and possibly even disappointments. What if we find that our counterpart in the other universe doesn't fit our ideal image? Do we reject it or say, "oh, I made a mistake"? Or do we look closer and try to see if the differences are only a reflection of some kind of 'quantum' variations? I don't know. It's not really up to me anyway.
Besides, even if we do wake to find that our magical vine is really 'just' a stock there are lot things that stocks are good for. ;-)
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Mortality
I'm not sure why I've been in a darkish mood the last couple of days. I've been feeling my mortality and thinking about it. I don't want to sound morbid or morose because it's not like that. It's just kind of dark. And it's just part of being and feeling alive.
On August 19-21, 1999, I experienced the Shaman's Death. It wasn't at all 'typical' of the traditional initiations of native cultures. It was a very modern version, especially now that this 'ritual' I experienced has become an icon of modern advertising, but the 'where-and-how' it happened really isn't as important as 'what' in this case. Not that the 'where-and-how' aren't at all important; nearly everything has a 'landscape' or 'background' that's not mutually exclusive (though not always very influential). However, it's a sociological mistake for some people to say that the only way to a truly profound experience is to go through a particular, regimented ritual. Some native cultures sent their Shamans out into the wilderness for a few days, and some 'buried' them overnight. Some cultures had other practices. But they all sought the effect of facing your Shadow (your darkest fears and impulses) and emerging wiser (though wounded) for it, or to be 'spiritually reborn'.* I think of my 'death' as having my 'bubble' - my bubble of illusions that surrounded me and distorted my view of the world (like a placenta in a way) - burst . And it was a real visual experience that literally appeared as if the 'old world' fell away in pieces and disappeared, leaving an almost painfully vivid and crisp world in view.
It was the kind of sight that your heart 'sees' in addition to your brain. There might be some kind of neural 'direct line' of communication from the visual nerve directly to the heart. And maybe not, but it sounds good. ;-) Maybe this is the 'chi' of Eastern traditions. Anyway, it was profound and painful in a visceral way. Some might call it a heartbreak, but it was more than that. Not that heartbreak isn't bad, but a Shaman's Death is a more complete breaking of the entire self. And the future is truly, absolutely unknown which means that you don't even know if you have a home to return to. That is a very scary feeling, but you must face it.
I don't really consider myself a Shaman, but that 'system' of beliefs most appeals to me because much of it most accurately reflects my own life experiences. The Shaman's Death was truly the rebirth into a new way of thinking of myself and my world. And it has been a long, hard process to reintegrate my 'new' self into the world. After that rebirth it takes time to learn to live again. So all of that was the 'what' of it, but the 'why' of the Shaman's Death has always been somewhat elusive, as most good 'why' questions tend to be. ;-)
I'm not sure what it means, but I've been feeling on the verge of something important. And maybe that is what seems to have heightened my sense of mortality. But not just mortality in the sense of living for a limited time, but of being and living. It's a greater awareness of being alive in a physical, sensual world. And that's good because I tend to neglect that over the intellectual and spiritual aspects of life. Maybe I'm reaching some other Shamanic milestone. I'll have to look it up.
------
*I've also been Baptized.
On August 19-21, 1999, I experienced the Shaman's Death. It wasn't at all 'typical' of the traditional initiations of native cultures. It was a very modern version, especially now that this 'ritual' I experienced has become an icon of modern advertising, but the 'where-and-how' it happened really isn't as important as 'what' in this case. Not that the 'where-and-how' aren't at all important; nearly everything has a 'landscape' or 'background' that's not mutually exclusive (though not always very influential). However, it's a sociological mistake for some people to say that the only way to a truly profound experience is to go through a particular, regimented ritual. Some native cultures sent their Shamans out into the wilderness for a few days, and some 'buried' them overnight. Some cultures had other practices. But they all sought the effect of facing your Shadow (your darkest fears and impulses) and emerging wiser (though wounded) for it, or to be 'spiritually reborn'.* I think of my 'death' as having my 'bubble' - my bubble of illusions that surrounded me and distorted my view of the world (like a placenta in a way) - burst . And it was a real visual experience that literally appeared as if the 'old world' fell away in pieces and disappeared, leaving an almost painfully vivid and crisp world in view.
It was the kind of sight that your heart 'sees' in addition to your brain. There might be some kind of neural 'direct line' of communication from the visual nerve directly to the heart. And maybe not, but it sounds good. ;-) Maybe this is the 'chi' of Eastern traditions. Anyway, it was profound and painful in a visceral way. Some might call it a heartbreak, but it was more than that. Not that heartbreak isn't bad, but a Shaman's Death is a more complete breaking of the entire self. And the future is truly, absolutely unknown which means that you don't even know if you have a home to return to. That is a very scary feeling, but you must face it.
I don't really consider myself a Shaman, but that 'system' of beliefs most appeals to me because much of it most accurately reflects my own life experiences. The Shaman's Death was truly the rebirth into a new way of thinking of myself and my world. And it has been a long, hard process to reintegrate my 'new' self into the world. After that rebirth it takes time to learn to live again. So all of that was the 'what' of it, but the 'why' of the Shaman's Death has always been somewhat elusive, as most good 'why' questions tend to be. ;-)
I'm not sure what it means, but I've been feeling on the verge of something important. And maybe that is what seems to have heightened my sense of mortality. But not just mortality in the sense of living for a limited time, but of being and living. It's a greater awareness of being alive in a physical, sensual world. And that's good because I tend to neglect that over the intellectual and spiritual aspects of life. Maybe I'm reaching some other Shamanic milestone. I'll have to look it up.
------
*I've also been Baptized.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Got the Butterflies All Tied Up
This is a Gulf Fritillary (Agraulis vanillae incarnata) just after emerging from its chrysalis, expanding its wings, and preparing for its last stage of life. The photo really doesn't do justice to its exquisite beauty and opalescent coloring (I wonder if the coloring is why it's named 'vanilla incarnate'). This photo was the other on display at the Dogwood Arts Festival Photo Show in April along with 'Splendid Anomaly.'
This post has been a long time (several months) coming. One problem was that I just could not think of the right title to 'tie it all up'. Then a few weeks ago (yet more delays) I heard the Prince song "When Doves Cry" on the radio followed by Eddie Money's "Take Me Home Tonight." It was the 'random' juxtaposition of these two songs that somehow connected for a solution. Hearing in the second song, "I can feel you breathe; I can feel your heart beat faster.....faster," caused a 'free association' (see, female verbal pattern thinking can be pretty cool) to the first song:
Touch if u will my stomach
Feel how it trembles inside
You've got the butterflies all tied up
Don't make me chase u
Even doves have pride
I've been somewhat obsessed with butterflies for the last several years. This obsession with butterflies was born in December 1999, when in Puerto Rico exploring Old San Juan we stumbled upon The Butterfly People. I was instantly caught in the "butterfly dimension" and butterflies (click for a brief description of some cute shamanic totem animals including butterflies) began to enter my life in various ways. Living in the country for the last 5 years has made it possible for me to have hands-on studies of them. In the summers my friends have teased me about my jars of caterpillars and chrysalides lined up on the kitchen bar. But they've never complained when they got to watch a butterfly fly for the first time. (However, this year the kitchen bar has been dominated by the black widow spider jar, and that has been the source of even more teasing about me really finally 'losing it.' lol But I think that the spider's presence, until her recent death, fit nicely with the symbolism of tied-up butterflies.)
I've recently finished reading the book, An Obsession With Butterflies, by Sharman Apt Russell. The first few sentences of the book immediately intrigued me:
In physics, string theory suggests that there are more than four dimensions, perhaps ten in all. [I thought it was 11.] These extra dimensions are curled up into a very small space, big enough only for subatomic particles, or tiny loops of vibrating "string." The theory does not rule out more dimensions, perhaps in the area of time. These dimensions, here but not here, exist outside our range of perception.
Adding butterflies to your life is like adding another dimension.
Russell goes on to describe examples of the richness and complexity of activities happening in the world all around us that we never even notice or perceive at all. Always surrounding us there are countless chemical messages being passed between flowers and insects (as well as other animals and plants) that exist in what can seem like dimensions other than our own. (I might could call it the "Olfactory Dimension".) She describes many examples of the hidden behavior that occurs in the butterfly world and how that behavior and other traits evolved in concert with the evolution of plants and other animals.
Let me indulge in a bit of quoting of out context. Czech string theorist Lubos Motl (who told me his name coincidentally is very similar to the Czech word for 'butterfly'- motyl[missing its proper accent thingy], which is much easier than the Aztec name of one type of butterfly, xiquipilchiuhpapalotl) says:
The punch line is that we absolutely need string theory to understand what's really going "inside" various physical systems that depend on nice mathematics. For an intelligent person, it is impossible to deny that string theory connects A,B) with C,D) and with E). It allows us to make seemingly obscure but true relations as clear as the sky. String theory allows us to answer questions in each category. It even tells us what are the right questions and what are the wrong questions. It also informs us which similarities, isomorphisms, and identities are deep and which of them are just random coincidences.
...
Our understanding of such dual systems is necessary if we want to predict what happens behind the borders between our current knowledge and our current ignorance. Sometimes the borders of the hostile empire of ignorance are only defined by our limited calculational skills. Sometimes the borders occur because without string theory, we would have no idea how to define the theory of the physical phenomena in the first place...
I know that he's not talking about butterflies and their seemingly extra-dimensional communications with flowers and other insects. But it's a fun thought to try to take complex theoretical physics and 'apply' it to events in the 'real' world. Russell does this with her opening paragraph, but that wasn't quite enough for me because I had hoped she would explicitly weave that idea into the rest of her book. I like to dig a little deeper and 'see' the connections in more detail. Or at least with my limited understanding of string theory it seems to fit together pretty well in that metaphorical sense. And I do want to emphasize the word "metaphorical" here because at this level that is all I can do to connect string theory and butterflies. I'm only describing an analogy or metaphor as I perceive it. I'm not capable of explaining why or how. (link to an explanation of various ways of looking at the Universe) However, I do think that when a theory begins to be used as a metaphor for real events that it means it is gaining acceptance in the minds of non-scientists. There is so much more going on in the world around us than the tiny bit that we do perceive. I like the use of String Theory as metaphor even if it might not be 'analytically correct'. It is philosophically pleasing.
I enjoyed the first half of Russell's book more than the rest because she discussed in detail some scientific observations of butterfly behavior and the complexity that has evolved (and continues to evolve) in relation to other animal and plant behaviors. Butterflies and ants in particular have established close symbiotic relationships:
Over 2000 species of butterflies around the world suffer from myrmecophily. They are ant-loving. (page 32)And this dynamic symbiosis is present with flowers too, though these relationships rely on a balance of needs by each participant and seem to constantly change/adjust in small ways which is, of course, the point of evolution. But this interconnectedness isn't limited to animal-animal or animal-plant relationships. For example, in many species their developing coloring responds to temperature changes, but that ability is lost in butterflies bred in climate controlled labs in fewer than 20 generations. Apparently, climate change is necessary for adaptability and evolution. Whoda thunkit? ;-)
There is also a discussion of the unique characteristic of caterpillar blood that seems to 'count time', a true biological clock. This is only one of the discussions in the book that makes it so worthwhile and thought provoking. I highly recommend this book to anyone who appreciates the complexity and 'connectedness' of Life even down to the smallest, most common of creatures. (And it's a small book and a quick read, provided you don't have kids constantly interrupting you.)
In her discussions of the history of butterfly study, lepidopterology, we learn that Vladimir Nabokov was an avid and well-known 20th Century lepidopterist. Many of us know him for his controversial novel, Lolita, about, as most of us know, a pedophile's pursuit and 'capture' of a young girl. (I haven't read it, and I will admit that it could have literary value despite the subject which I find disgusting.) Apparently, Nabokov was obsessed with butterflies too, especially their metamorphosis from a "bag of goo" (Russell's description) to a beautiful work of biological art. Russell sums it up by saying:
It is a gesture of beauty almost too casual. (page 48)"A gesture of beauty almost too casual" seems to me to be expected from an "Elegant Universe."
When gulf fritillaries are mating they stay connected for most of a day.The primary purpose of the adult butterfly is reproduction. And butterfly sex is almost as varied as human sex. Some species like the Monarch (Danaus plexippus) engage in 'rape' or what looks to us like forced, uninvited sex, and is probably the result of the male Monarch lacking enough pheromones to properly 'attract' a female. Other species like the Zebra Longwing (Heliconius charitonia) engage in pupal sex, or what could be compared to pedophilia in humans, though in the butterflies it does often result in actual reproduction but also sometimes results in female death. This barbaric practice in butterflies has evolved probably as a result of intense male competition to perpetuate their own genes. They even sometimes engage in interspecies pupal mating (which kills the female) probably to reduce competition on host plants. (A disturbing thought is that perhaps human pedophilia is an evolutionary relic which has yet to completely disappear.) And some butterfly species have even developed a form of 'bondage' (or being "tied up") with a structure called a "sphragis" which Russell equates to a "chastity belt" that keeps other males from mating with a female. However one male butterfly sexual feature that I'm sure most human males would wish they had are rudimentary 'eyes' on their genitalia that detect light and probably assist the males in properly 'lining up' with the female genitalia.
Gulf fritillaries are probably my favorite butterflies for several reasons. They are plentiful here so I have gotten to watch them quite a bit. They have the coolest scientific name ("vanilla incarnate"), and they feed on the Passion Flower plant (Passiflora incarnata or roughly "widespread goddess of flowers incarnate") which grows wild around here and is quite beautiful and smells incredible:
Maybe their feeding on this Passion Flower is part of why their mating lasts so long? And it seems logical to me to think that they must surely be having little butterfly orgasms even though we've yet found a way to detect them. (Why would they stay connected so long if wasn't very pleasurable? Staying connected for long periods increases the risk of being eaten by a bird or other predator so you'd think there has to be some big benefit to offset that danger.) Maybe these butterfly orgasms are occurring in another dimension, a curled-up dimension predicted by string theory that we've also yet to detect? Maybe someone should try to study this further? Maybe this is the answer so many have been searching for? ;-)I'd like to leave it here with that 'punchline', but no discussion of butterflies and the significance of their lives and life-cycle is complete without mentioning death. Butterflies, like most of us, live then reproduce and then die. It's the Way of Life. In Russell's book there is a brief discussion of the cross-cultural spiritual symbolism of butterflies' metamorphosis. Many cultures have independently associated this metamorphosis with the life/death/rebirth cycle of Life, and some have associated it with reincarnation. Some say that butterflies are the souls of dead humans. Here is an iconic representation of this idea:
Of course, there is much in the book that I haven't mentioned, but that's why you need to read it. Now that I've come to the end of this I'm wondering if it was worth the trouble, but I'm relieved to have it finally finished.
A quick disclaimer here: this is for entertainment purposes only. ;-)
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Critter Updates
Other than the spider in the previous post there has been lots of other critter activity around here this past week.
We've been adopted by a stray dog:
It (the brown one) is a 'weinie dog' or something. It has a hurt front leg, but I swear, why me? Why us? (This is the Chinese Year of the Dog, though.) Jewel, the white and black one, seems to like the company. It acts like it's found it home, but I'll have to look around for "lost dog" signs to try to find its real home.
Jewel has found a turkey nest. First she brought us a dead chick, and then she brought a live one that I've rescued. I think it thinks I'm its mother now because I've fed it worms and grubs and taken care of its slight injuries. Every time it sees me it starts chirping so cute.
I've named it Chirp-chirp. This is probably not going to end well because if I release it Jewel will probably catch it again, and if I keep it too long it will probably become too tame. I've instructed the kids not to pick up the bird and play with it. Thoughts of the bird flu have not escaped me even though it is very unlikely to be an issue. Btw, in shamanism turkeys generally represent "give-away" or generosity and blessings.
I haven't seen Clyde the frog in a long time. I suppose he moved on to a more suitable female, but he was appreciated while he was here. I've heard frogs croaking in the distance and wondered if one of them was Clyde.
David ran over a black snake the other day. He thought it was just a stick in the road. He brought it to the house so the kids and I could see it. I don't know if it died. He put it out in the woods, but when we looked later it was gone. It could have been the one I saw last Sunday, but it looked smaller.
Not a critter but exciting for me anyway:
The first ever bloom on my lemon tree. And man, does it smell wonderful! When my dad first gave it to me a few years ago it was just a little stick in a pot of dirt. But now it is over 6 feet tall and mature enough to bloom. We will probably have lemons later this summer (I hope so!) because there are bunches of buds getting ready to open. My dad has had some fruit-bearing lemon trees for several years now.
UPDATE(1:00 am Mon.): I couldn't sleep for thinking that I've misidentified 'Chirp-chirp' as a turkey when he/she is probably just a chicken. There are lots of wild turkeys around here, as well as grouse which Jewel has killed before. I assumed that this was a turkey because of that and because its feathers have the exact same coloring and patterning as turkey feathers. But my father-in-law saw it and said he thought it was a chicken because it looks like some that our neighbor has. Uh-oh, I see a neighbor feud on the horizon if our dog has been killing/stealing his chickens...
David found that snake dead down by the driveway. Jewel probably killed it too.
I found two more black widows today and put them in the same jar. I'm watching to see if they attack each other or fight over food. My god, that's cruel, isn't it?! But as far as I know spider-fighting isn't illegal like cock-fighting is. Besides, I'm not taking or making any bets about it.
We've been adopted by a stray dog:
It (the brown one) is a 'weinie dog' or something. It has a hurt front leg, but I swear, why me? Why us? (This is the Chinese Year of the Dog, though.) Jewel, the white and black one, seems to like the company. It acts like it's found it home, but I'll have to look around for "lost dog" signs to try to find its real home. Jewel has found a turkey nest. First she brought us a dead chick, and then she brought a live one that I've rescued. I think it thinks I'm its mother now because I've fed it worms and grubs and taken care of its slight injuries. Every time it sees me it starts chirping so cute.
I've named it Chirp-chirp. This is probably not going to end well because if I release it Jewel will probably catch it again, and if I keep it too long it will probably become too tame. I've instructed the kids not to pick up the bird and play with it. Thoughts of the bird flu have not escaped me even though it is very unlikely to be an issue. Btw, in shamanism turkeys generally represent "give-away" or generosity and blessings. I haven't seen Clyde the frog in a long time. I suppose he moved on to a more suitable female, but he was appreciated while he was here. I've heard frogs croaking in the distance and wondered if one of them was Clyde.
David ran over a black snake the other day. He thought it was just a stick in the road. He brought it to the house so the kids and I could see it. I don't know if it died. He put it out in the woods, but when we looked later it was gone. It could have been the one I saw last Sunday, but it looked smaller.
Not a critter but exciting for me anyway:
The first ever bloom on my lemon tree. And man, does it smell wonderful! When my dad first gave it to me a few years ago it was just a little stick in a pot of dirt. But now it is over 6 feet tall and mature enough to bloom. We will probably have lemons later this summer (I hope so!) because there are bunches of buds getting ready to open. My dad has had some fruit-bearing lemon trees for several years now.UPDATE(1:00 am Mon.): I couldn't sleep for thinking that I've misidentified 'Chirp-chirp' as a turkey when he/she is probably just a chicken. There are lots of wild turkeys around here, as well as grouse which Jewel has killed before. I assumed that this was a turkey because of that and because its feathers have the exact same coloring and patterning as turkey feathers. But my father-in-law saw it and said he thought it was a chicken because it looks like some that our neighbor has. Uh-oh, I see a neighbor feud on the horizon if our dog has been killing/stealing his chickens...
David found that snake dead down by the driveway. Jewel probably killed it too.
I found two more black widows today and put them in the same jar. I'm watching to see if they attack each other or fight over food. My god, that's cruel, isn't it?! But as far as I know spider-fighting isn't illegal like cock-fighting is. Besides, I'm not taking or making any bets about it.
Science and Magic: Confined Danger
My new pet. Temporarily, anyway. I found this black widow spider (Latrodectus mactans) under a lunch box that had been left out in the yard (yeah, redneck trash, lol), so I captured it to show the kids why they should not leave things in the yard and why they should not pick up things that have been left out without flipping them over with a stick or something. I hate to think of what might have happened if my youngest, whose lunchbox it was, had carelessly picked this up and gotten bitten. Fatality is rare in bitten adults, but you just don't know with a small child. After lecturing them and demonstrating to them how to flip things over with a stick the only thing they wanted to know was how I got it in the jar. What clever children! How, how, how? I suppose it could look to them like I had performed some kind of magic trick by successfully handling this spider without getting bitten myself. What to do? Tell them that they don't need to know? Or tell them some 'magic trick' that only vicious mommas can do? Or tell them the truth that I just held the jar uside down over it until it climbed to the 'bottom' of the jar then I quickly put on the lid? Why question how to answer their question? Because I had some doubt that all of my warnings against trying to catch a black widow would deter them from trying, especially if I told them how I did it myself. And they really must not try it! (Btw, I told them the truth and continued to warn them that if they see a black widow they should stay far away from it... do as I say and not as I do and all that.)
I found it on Thursday with the butterfly carcass in its clutches. It carried it into the jar and continued feeding on it. I've fed it a small grasshopper and a large grub since then, and its belly has doubled in size. David thinks I'm fattening it up to poison him. As if! I just like to observe it. I emailed a spider researcher at UT to ask if they have any need for black widows. She said no. Oh well.
I've had so many things I've wanted to share here, but I keep getting interrupted by children and friends and losing my train of thought (I started on this post Friday and still haven't finished it). I'm not an intellectual powerhouse who can keep so many thoughts fresh and ready at a moment's notice. I'm tempted to think about how different it could be, but that accomplishes nothing but putting me in an even more foul mood. Remember the movie, Minority Report (yeah, Tom Fucking Retard Cruise, but the actual movie is prettty cool)? There were those people who saw the crimes of the future and they had to be protected from outside influences in order to be able to 'see' those things. Well, that's a kind of a sci-fi interpretation of an ivory tower type of situation where some great thinker or whatever can isolate and concentrate. Sounds nice to me! But I can't very well escape life and its responsibilities to 'tinker' on the computer. Not that anyone is missing anything if I don't anyway.
There has to be an invisible sun
It gives its heat to everyone
There has to be an invisible sun
That gives us hope when the whole day's done
"Invisible Sun" by the Police
I had all these fun thoughts about the similarity of science and magic and how shamans (which I can't truly claim to be one) and string theorists (definitely can't claim that title either) have much in common in how they see the world. They both transcend the four 'known' dimensions; one senses them through 'magic' derived from natural ability and/or various practices, and the other explores them through their experiments and formulae, etc. (also requires some natural ability). I think that they are studying the same things only through different "reference frames." (Sorry, Lubos if I'm misusing you, your blog title, and all you do - it's meant entirely in a complimentary fashion.) What string theorists do looks to me as magical and mysterious as my own uncanny experiences with Nature. I hope not to insult anyone with such a comparison, and I'm by far not qualified to extend that comparison beyond this surface similarity.
...
There's a little black spot on the sun today
(That's my soul up there)
It's the same old thing as yesterday
(That's my soul up there)
...
There's a butterfly trapped in a spider's web
(That's my soul up there)
I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain
...
There's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt
...
There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
I have stood here before in the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
...
"King of Pain" by the Police
Sorry to end on a low note, but I've lost my thoughts again.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
A Hoe's Theory of Stuff, regurgitation part 2
I've been studying shamanism for a few years. I don't have a teacher or anything. It's just self-directed study. A big part of what I've studied, as I referred to in the Totem Hoe post, is animal medicine. By medicine I mean the symbolism and messages they bring us. I try to be in harmony with the world around me and when you do that you can see that we all, even plants and animals, are connected. I know this might sound way out there, but these ideas and practices have been around longer than most organized religions.
For some reason I feel the need to discuss a particular kind of animal medicine. Perhaps someone out there needs to hear this message. I don't know. Maybe I just want to write about it for my own benefit. The reason doesn't ultimately matter though. The animal I want to talk about is the Skunk. Yes, laugh if you like, skunks are funny little creatures. But their medicine is just as valuable as any other's.
Skunk represents reputation and sexuality. One of my favorite movie quotes is from Gone With the Wind when Rhett Butler tells Scarlett, "With enough courage, you can do without a reputation." That can easily apply to the stinky little skunk as well as to people. But Skunk medicine is more complex than that. We all know that the skunk can spray its scent in defense, and it's an effective defense at that because it has such a distinctive and permeating odor that the primary reaction to it is to run away. This makes us give great respect to a skunk. But it's message isn't to bully people around with a stink to make them respect you. Skunks are peaceful and shy animals. They always give ample warning before spraying. Their lesson is for us to learn how to manage the energy we sent out to the world because that is what gives us our reputation. If you sent out negativity then people will think of you as a stinky person they want to avoid. But if you sent out positive energy then people will be drawn to you.
That brings us to another lesson of Skunk. We must be careful about the kind of energy we send out because it is possible to manipulate or mislead others. Sometimes people with strong Skunk medicine are what we would consider very sexy and alluring because they exude that kind of energy. They send it out and it permeates like the skunk's scent. Scent is very closely related to sexual responses. It can become easy for someone to abuse their Skunk medicine by luring people with the promise of something they don't plan on delivering. That kind of deception is the result of low self esteem. People must learn that they are valuable to others in more ways than the sexual. But I'm not saying that sexual energy is a bad thing. It's not. It's a great thing. But we must be careful not to use it to manipulate others.
Well, that's just a basic description of Skunk medicine. So the next time you smell or see a skunk (and you'll almost always smell one before you see it) think about your reputation and how it's determined by the energy you send out to others. And to paraphrase Rhett Butler, with courage you can deal with whatever reputation you have or you can change it.
For some reason I feel the need to discuss a particular kind of animal medicine. Perhaps someone out there needs to hear this message. I don't know. Maybe I just want to write about it for my own benefit. The reason doesn't ultimately matter though. The animal I want to talk about is the Skunk. Yes, laugh if you like, skunks are funny little creatures. But their medicine is just as valuable as any other's.
Skunk represents reputation and sexuality. One of my favorite movie quotes is from Gone With the Wind when Rhett Butler tells Scarlett, "With enough courage, you can do without a reputation." That can easily apply to the stinky little skunk as well as to people. But Skunk medicine is more complex than that. We all know that the skunk can spray its scent in defense, and it's an effective defense at that because it has such a distinctive and permeating odor that the primary reaction to it is to run away. This makes us give great respect to a skunk. But it's message isn't to bully people around with a stink to make them respect you. Skunks are peaceful and shy animals. They always give ample warning before spraying. Their lesson is for us to learn how to manage the energy we sent out to the world because that is what gives us our reputation. If you sent out negativity then people will think of you as a stinky person they want to avoid. But if you sent out positive energy then people will be drawn to you.
That brings us to another lesson of Skunk. We must be careful about the kind of energy we send out because it is possible to manipulate or mislead others. Sometimes people with strong Skunk medicine are what we would consider very sexy and alluring because they exude that kind of energy. They send it out and it permeates like the skunk's scent. Scent is very closely related to sexual responses. It can become easy for someone to abuse their Skunk medicine by luring people with the promise of something they don't plan on delivering. That kind of deception is the result of low self esteem. People must learn that they are valuable to others in more ways than the sexual. But I'm not saying that sexual energy is a bad thing. It's not. It's a great thing. But we must be careful not to use it to manipulate others.
Well, that's just a basic description of Skunk medicine. So the next time you smell or see a skunk (and you'll almost always smell one before you see it) think about your reputation and how it's determined by the energy you send out to others. And to paraphrase Rhett Butler, with courage you can deal with whatever reputation you have or you can change it.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Totem Hoe
About three years ago I had a session with a shaman who told me what some of my totems are. My main one is a mouse. Yeah, a lowly little mouse, but it's pretty accurate because mice are detail oriented and like to store things and dig, like a hoe. Mouse medicine is Scrutiny and Analysis which is good and bad. There is such a thing as over-analyzing and picking apart stuff. Oh, I know that all too well. This very blog is an exercise in that. Some of my other totems are hummingbird, butterfly, dragonfly, lizard, and spider. I know there are some others, but I will have to look back at my old notes and see if I wrote all of them down.
Hummingbird medicine is pure joy. They flee from conflict and ugliness, yet they are quite fierce and tough when they need to be. They exist to bring about happiness and help us find joy in all we do. They also teach us how to use flowers for healing. Hummingbirds will die if caged.
Butterfly medicine is transformation. The life cycle of the butterfly goes from egg, to larva (caterpillar), to pupa (chrysalis), to adult. The transformation from that occurs in the chrysalis is such a mystery. How a soft, wormy thing can become a beautiful, winged insect is amazing and representative of the potential change within us all.
Dragonfly medicine is illusion and the power of light. Dragonfly knows that the way in which things reflect and absorb light determines how they are seen. Dragonfly reminds us to remember that we can change how we perceive things, that we can shine the light on our illusions to help us see the truth.
Lizard medicine is subtlety and keenness of perception. Lizard can feel the vibrations and heat of their insect prey as they move. And Lizard's eyesight can detect the slightest movements. Lizard medicine is clairvoyance and the ability to bridge the conscious and subconscious, as in dreaming. Sometimes Lizard is called the Dreamer.
Spider medicine is creativity and the weaving of fate. By spinning its web Spider is creating the Universe and the fate of all who enter that web. Spider is a creator but is also a destroyer. If you are caught in its web when its hungry you might become its next meal. But we have to remember that feeding the creator is just as honorable and important as any other destiny.
Just like a totem pole this totem hoe has many components. We all do. None of us are just simple sticks, well, except maybe pitch forks.
Hummingbird medicine is pure joy. They flee from conflict and ugliness, yet they are quite fierce and tough when they need to be. They exist to bring about happiness and help us find joy in all we do. They also teach us how to use flowers for healing. Hummingbirds will die if caged.
Butterfly medicine is transformation. The life cycle of the butterfly goes from egg, to larva (caterpillar), to pupa (chrysalis), to adult. The transformation from that occurs in the chrysalis is such a mystery. How a soft, wormy thing can become a beautiful, winged insect is amazing and representative of the potential change within us all.
Dragonfly medicine is illusion and the power of light. Dragonfly knows that the way in which things reflect and absorb light determines how they are seen. Dragonfly reminds us to remember that we can change how we perceive things, that we can shine the light on our illusions to help us see the truth.
Lizard medicine is subtlety and keenness of perception. Lizard can feel the vibrations and heat of their insect prey as they move. And Lizard's eyesight can detect the slightest movements. Lizard medicine is clairvoyance and the ability to bridge the conscious and subconscious, as in dreaming. Sometimes Lizard is called the Dreamer.
Spider medicine is creativity and the weaving of fate. By spinning its web Spider is creating the Universe and the fate of all who enter that web. Spider is a creator but is also a destroyer. If you are caught in its web when its hungry you might become its next meal. But we have to remember that feeding the creator is just as honorable and important as any other destiny.
Just like a totem pole this totem hoe has many components. We all do. None of us are just simple sticks, well, except maybe pitch forks.
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