Midlife Equity

I'm really rusty on this writing thing but here goes.

It's been nearly 20 years since I started this blog. That feels strange. Twenty years has flashed by so fast. So much has happened. Kids have grown and flourished into their own adult lives. No grandchildren yet, but maybe in a few years. I've had heartbreaks and recoveries and times of feeling like I just didn't care about much anymore. But now at 56 I'm feeling that midlife urgency to get things done and taken care of while I'm still here and able. Not to be morbid but if I'm average I've only got another 20 or so years of life, and that 20 years will go ever faster than the last 20. Priorities are shifting. Focus is much less on the future. It is on right now. Time is even more precious than ever. No more wasting time waiting for things to get done or waiting for other people to get their shit together or whatever. 

I feel like I've built up a bit of life equity. I'm talking about the value accumulated over time based on the difference between liabilities spent vs. assets gained. I'm been the bookkeeper for our business for the last 26 years so I just think of things in those kinds of terms. I'm not talking about the current use of the term equity as some social concept to justify discrimination against high achievers because it's not "fair" that some people do better in life than others. That's just life, people. I always wished I could be a rock star or super model but I don't have the talent or physical beauty for required. Painful as that realization was, it was what I had to accept. Anyway, life is not "fair" and everyone just needs to do their own best without trying to bring others down to their level just to feel better about it. 

My own equity I'm talking about does have social aspect but it is much more personal and intertwined with my marriage/partnership. All the years that I didn't spend money on things like getting my nails done all the time, designer clothes, or whatever other shopping/spending habits that others choose has created a type of savings account with this equity. (No judgment on those who do spend their "capital" on that stuff - it just hasn't been a priority for me.) I know this might sound "transactional" to some. That's another current buzzword to criticize certain ways of thinking. Well, at its most fundamental level life is purely transactional - input/output and exchange are the process of life itself. The sun gives the energy it got from its creation to all the plants and organisms on earth that then use that energy to grow themselves and then we use them to grow ourselves and we all convert that energy into other products that other things use to grow themselves and on and on and on. It's a cycle of exchange. Long term partnerships naturally involved lots of sharing and exchanging. Certainly, there are some things like emotions that don't necessarily work best under a transactional structure. I might get into that later. Sorry, I tend to go off on these tangents. 

Back to relationship equity. Over the 33 years of my marriage I've accumulated a bit of savings where I wasn't spending everything all the time. Now I'm looking at things that need attention. As things age they need repairs and maintenance. A lot of people my age decide to spend their equity on fixing their bodies with plastic surgeries or other procedures to look younger or whatever. And again, no judgment on that, but it's not my concern. Well, yeah, sometimes I think about having some "work" done on myself for appearance's sake, but not too seriously because that just hasn't been a thing for me ever so why start now? There's a lot of life baggage (similar to equity but undesired accumulation) connected to physical appearance. Growing up I was never told I was attractive. My appearance just wasn't important except that I was never thin enough. I was either invisible or too big. This probably explains my lack of desire to maintain appearances over my life. What's to maintain if you never had it? Sorry, another tangent. 

So instead of spending my equity on myself I am beginning to spend it on some big home maintenance projects. As a homemaker (along with the bookkeeping as my "career") home is super important. The state of our homes is often a reflection of the conditions of other aspects of our lives. This isn't necessarily a direct correlation. Sometimes people with the most immaculate homes have the most fucked up lives and relationships. And sometimes the most modest and ordinary homes have the happiest families. Clutter and mess isn't always a sign of dysfunction. It's often a sign of people living full lives. My house is generally clean but it is a working home. We work here and from here and it's all functional and lived in. I do like some nice things but it's just not all for show. (Just like my personal appearance.) But over time things wear out and need work to repair and maintain them. This year I've had the exterior painted professionally for the first time since we built the house in 2001. The cedar siding had been cleaned and sealed a few times over the years but it was always DIY and not necessarily done that well. Cedar is beautiful when it's new and newly pressure washed to remove the natural tannin stains that turn it gray-to-black. But it never keeps that fresh-cut look. It wants to be black. So I said "paint it black." Well, it's not pure black, which I would have liked just fine. It's a very dark gray, kind of charcoal color - the darkest that Sherwin-Williams makes - Black Alder - I think is the name. It looks awesome. I love it. It was a big job and cost a pretty penny but I had that equity and used it. 

Another big job that has needed to be done for over a decade is having the wrought iron pool fence painted. We put in the pool and fence 16 years ago and it's all held up pretty well, but as iron will do it had some rust and other issues. Last year I had a couple of posts and a gate replaced and there are a few more posts that will need replaced next year. But for so many years I've had getting it painted on the to-do list. That never was a real DIY option. So I finally just made the call and found the absolute best people to get that done. I am so happy with it! It's almost like having a brand new fence. It wasn't cheap. Getting it painted the right way was almost as much as getting it originally installed. But with Bidenflation it was really probably about a third (or even a quarter maybe) of what it would cost to install new now.

Having these things taken care of have energized me. Spending that equity on my home and surroundings has made me feel like the state of our home better reflects the state of our lives. There are several other projects that need to be done in the next year or so. The equity isn't all used up yet but I don't want to deplete it completely. There's another big painting job that I want done professional this year, and then the other projects are more DIY friendly. Spending on home maintenance seems like a much better investment than plastic surgery or whatever because barring some major natural disaster or something like that, this house will be here a lot longer than I will. It is an asset for my children. My body is not meant to be a legacy. It has already done its creating.         

Nesting

Over the last week I've been taking a 'mental health media holiday' because all the doom and gloom on TV was really ruining my mood and well-being. Instead of the news I've watched only fun and frivolous shows like Project Runway 5 and some of the other shows on Bravo. And most of my time and energy has been spent on home-making, or nesting. There have been many little projects and seasonal cleaning tasks that have gotten finished, as well as some rearranging and redecorating. Sometimes it's just time to do those things and to concentrate on refreshing the living spaces.

I can't do anything to make the rest of the world better, but I can make my own little world better. The stock market is going to be very volatile for a while, so there's no point in watching its every swing. There will be a pretty serious global recession whether or not the government becomes fully socialist and no matter who is elected President. These are things that I have no control over even though my family always tells me that I should run for President to straighten out everyone and everything. ;-) I just tell them that I'd rather be Queen of the World for a week. :-)

I've done my fair share of analyzing and thinking about all the world's problems and I've written them here and there. That's about all I can do and if no one pays attention then that's just how it goes. I can't fret about it too much any more. We are prepared for the worst but are hoping for better. That's the only thing we can do now.

This nesting thing is a very old biological instinct and somehow I find it comforting to follow that basic drive and to fulfill that purpose of my life. After all my chosen career is being a home-maker. Oh, and tomorrow is our big Halloween party so getting things ready for that has been a motive too.

21st Century Laundry

Over the weekend I bought a new washing machine because my old one was pretty much dead and had already been repaired at least three times since I got it in 2004 (I think). Well, I do an awful lot of laundry and the thing wore out that quick. Also, the last two months' electric bills have been over $500. Ouch! That's about double what we've been averaging. Part of it is probably the addition of the pool, but that is worth some extra expense and it won't run all year anyway. Also, TVA has announced a 20% increase in their rates, so that increase is passed on to us.

So I was thinking about all the other big electricity consumers in the house and what my options might be to reduce our bills. Since the old washer wasn't spinning very well to get enough water out of the laundry, I've had to run the dryer longer and that is a big energy user because of the heating element. I really couldn't afford both a new washer and dryer, so I figured if I got a new washer it might help the most since it could reduce the drying time.

Okay, just a quick aside, hanging our clothes out to dry is not really a healthy option here because of all the allergens like pollen that would collect in the laundry. We all tend to have problems with various pollens so it would be pretty dumb, and unhealthy, for us to add a lot more to the household by drying our clothes outside. Incidentally, Knoxville is rated as one of the worst cities in the US for allergies and asthma.

The old washer was a typical American top-loader, which I think of as a very 20th Century design. The new washer is a front loading Bosch (German company but the machine was actually made in the USA):



At first I was a little skeptical that it would actually clean our sometimes very dirty laundry without so much water. But so far it seems to do very well. It's kind of amazing. And I'm only having to run the dryer about half the time, or less even, that before. Wonders never cease! I guess some people get these things because they want to save the planet or some other lofty goal, but frankly I just did it to save my checkbook. ;-)

And it cost about the same as a replica of an old wringer-style washer like my grandma used to have. I still think those are cool, but the Bosch is even cooler. And smarter because it automatically senses the size of the loads and adds water accordingly, as well as having a special sanitizing cycle and an extra energy efficient option, if I am feeling especially "green". ;-) I'll add a note after the next electric bill saying whether or not it has helped.

Another nice bonus is that I'm not having to spend as much time messing with the laundry either. So that means more time for blogging. :-)

Sew Fun: Project Runway 4 Finale Tonight

After my appendectomy and I was laid up in the hospital and in recovery at home last year I got into watching Project Runway on Bravo, the network I've always thought of as the gay man's channel. ;-) At the hospital the channel selection was very limited and most of the shows on daytime TV are really awful. But Project Runway really caught my attention because it is a very well-produced "reality" show and because I've always been interested in sewing and have dabbled in designing, especially skating costumes.

It was nearing the end of the season 3 when I started watching, and I like the way that Bravo frequently repeats its popular shows so that you can catch up on what you've missed. I've seen all of season 4, some episodes many times because it is so interesting, though not all in sequence. The best things are the focus on creative projects and not so much on the interpersonal dramas among the designers. There is a little of that, but it's by far not the focus and purpose of the program. The real meat of the show is the creative process.

Almost all the men on the show are gay which is quite entertaining. Gay men can be so hilarious. And there are many various gay male personalities. If I was a 21 year old gay boy I would probably be a lot like Christian. He's a spunky, cocky little androgenous guy who reminds me a bit of myself when I was a spunky, cocky little college girl who wasn't afraid to be myself whether I annoyed people or not. ;-) But if I was any other gay man I'd really love Rami. He's one of those men that we women say "God, what a waste!" about him being gay. He's pretty hot (masculine for a queer) and a very talented designer too. Actually, after viewing the final collections online I think that he should probably win.

Another kind of odd coincidence about the show is that one of the big sponsors is L'Oreal Cosmetics which I used to work for in my pre-vicious momma days. I was only a lowly part time sales rep/merchandiser, but it was a great job that I really enjoyed. We got lots of perks even as part timers.

Ten years ago I was designing and sewing a skating costume for a routine to the music of Madame Butterfly. But oops, I got pregnant with my daughter and didn't ever get to finish it or wear it for competition/exhibition. I still have it in its incomplete form:

Back



Front





Well, I've never been a slave to fashion or an especially stylish dresser and I really don't keep up with all the latest big designers and so on. But I have always enjoyed sewing and creating cute things. My mother was a great seamstress and sewing is a way for me to feel closer to her spirit. I think she would have really enjoyed watching Project Runway too.

I Can Do It, Again!

In trying to keep one of my resolutions to finish projects, etc., around the house I finally decided to repair the broken cabinet drawer in the kitchen. It had been broken for probably almost a year (because one of the kids mistakenly thought it could be used as a step-ladder), and the reason my husband didn't fix it was because he works so much that when he comes home he doesn't want to have to do even more work. ;-) The reason I hadn't fixed it was because I was intimidated by it and also because most of last year, as I realize in hindsight, I was really too ill to do much of anything.

The bottom drawer was the broken one, but actually it was the drawer slide hardware that was broken and not the drawer itself. In this picture I had already removed the white rail that was broken:



Here is my cute little Makita drill and the drawer with one of the new heavier-duty rails installed:



I only made one mistake at first by mis-aligning the slide bracket in the back of the cabinet, but in the end I was able to get it perfectly aligned. Here is the finished drawer:



I keep my frying pans and skillets in the drawer:



Now I don't have to leave them in the floor anymore and it's nice and neat again. The cabinets are made of hickory wood which is popular in this area for more rustic style kitchens.



Well, of course, I was very proud of myself for finally getting it done and getting it done right without too much trouble.


See also I Can Do It! for phone installation.

Stubbed TOEs and Other Pains

This was the post I was working on before my appendix blew. Obviously, even more pains worse than stubbed TOES and dead hard drives were lurking in the near future, little did I know. ;-) (no "seer" is 100% accurate due to the probabilistic nature of our world) These words are no longer really timely or relevant, but what the hell, here they are anyway:


11/07

Let me do the other pains first.

The last couple of weeks have been full of all kinds of annoyances and disasters. The source of the worst and still continuing pains has been the dead hard drive in my old desktop. I did manage to recover my Quickbooks and some percentage of my Paintshop files before it completely died, but because I'm a jack of all trades but master of none it has been somewhat challenging.

Well, what do you expect from a $15,000 employee whose titles and jobs range from bookkeeper to human resources to payroll processing to IT manager? I mean really, according to this website the average Information Technology Manager earns about $100,000 dollars annually. Check the links of the other jobs and you'll see how much I should be making. ;-)

Okay, so, since the Quickbooks on the old computer was the 2002 version I thought I'd go ahead and upgrade to the 2008 version since I had to get a new computer anyway. Well, I really kind of hate Quickbooks and Intuit because they are constantly bringing out new versions and making it difficult to continue using the older versions. It's accounting. How much new stuff can there be every year? Not enough to keep "upgrading" software. Jesus. It's a rip-off. And they want you to subscribe (means pay for) all these other services like online backups, payroll updates, etc. blah, blah, blah. And it's really disturbing that all of your business information that you put into "their" software that you're only paying for the "use of" (license) ends up being inaccessible to you without certain codes and whatnot. Hey fuckers, it's my information in there and you can't steal it from me. I've exceeded my f-bomb quota for the entire year in the last few hours. ;-)

Anyway, I did successfully install the upgrade, but when I was trying to register it ends up that I have to call a number to get a validation code. What? You can't fool me. I know that's just another one of their ploys to get me talking to one of their salesmen who's going to try to sell me a bunch of their shit that I don't need. Is it not enough that they got $200 out of me already?

And get this. In my old Quickbooks I could manually enter paychecks and do all my own payroll processing, but now in this new one they won't even let me do that. I have to pay at least $99 more per year just to be able to track my two employee payroll! This is enough to make me go postal on them. Where is the Intuit headquarters where I can go and tell them in person just how disgusted and outraged I am about their evil business practices? If you read about some crazy woman going postal at the Intuit headquarters it might be me!

Okay, I'll leave that rant and move on to the Stubbed TOE. The big buzz in the science news has been a surfer dude's Theory of Everything. Well, he did make a pretty picture of it, but just because we can create vivid images of things doesn't make them real.




While watching that video I keep thinking intuitively I can see that this "simple" explanation just cannot 'evolve' into the complex universe that we see today. There is no universe in those pretty pictures. It looks to me like the surfer dude has just created a system of explaining how to move those points around in certain patterns. But how that translates into a Theory of Everything just isn't clear at all. He and his advocates call themselves "seers" but as you know, I'm a seer too. ;-) And I ain't seein' anything in this "theory." Well, actually, what keeps coming to my mind is "snowflakes." (If that means anything to anyone then please let me know.)

Other than the scientific aspects of this story, I have to say that this surfer dude seems like a typical slacker who's looking for an easy way to make it. Lubos perfectly summarizes my thoughts too in response to a comment about the recent passing of Sidney Coleman:

LM: Unfortunately, it's not just irony, it's another example of great minds being systematically replaced by cheap crap. What do the media do? For many days, they don't even report about one of the greatest theoretical physicists of the last 50 years - it is much more important to refer a politically correct story about a "poor" imbecile whose main result is a "theory of everything" - a textbook example of a childish proposal that can't work according to a theorem known for several decades. I am irritated by the breathtaking hypocrisy of those proponents of the "right" thinkers. For example, crackpot Lisi is promoted because it is poor. Tell it to most guys in Africa or even Europe - offer them to be poor so that they can surf for whole days on Hawaii. I think that most of them will instantly accept this kind of poverty. But he paints himself as "poor", so he is welcome even though his physical theory and physics knowledge is just a small piece of shit. But the media serve this shit as a yummy dinner. And most of them won't even tell you about Sidney Coleman. The world is just going to hell.

To add to that, if you want to read more of this surfer dude's confused blather about things other than physics you can find it at Bee's.

In addition to that, if you want more details about it all, you can Google it or go to The Reference Frame.

I couldn't resist putting in my 2 cents worth about it. Well, if you ask me, this theory is really only worth about 2 cents anyway. I'm sorry if I've stubbed or stepped on anyone's TOE or toes, but generally, if I'm allowed a little immodesty, my intuition about these things is pretty good. I think the main point of this entire story is that even the scientific world has fallen into the Hollywood fakery mentality that relies only on superficial and artificial prettiness and unlikely plots.

I think the perfect ending to this would be that a little old hillbilly housewife from Tennessee with no formal physics training falsifies the surfer dude's TOE with her own pretty picture:

[unfortunately I couldn't figure out how to post my pretty .gif animation]

Wouldn't that be a perfect, unexpected and unlikely Hollywood plot twist? ;-)

Homemaking 101

Some of my favorite modern homemaking products:

Glad Press'n Seal Wrap



This stuff is just awesome. It's so much better than old fashioned "saran wrap" and Glad says that there are 1000s of uses for it. Well, I don't have time to explore all those, but I can imagine that you can use it for almost anything. I certainly like it and have invented some new uses for myself, such as wrapping wet paint rollers to keep them from drying out while I take a break from painting. Anyway, this is a kind of big step in the evolution of materials for homemakers. ;-)


Swiffer Dusters



These really do work. They pick up all the dust, and it clings to the duster so that it doesn't fall off so that it has to be dusted again immediately. ;-) In other words, they don't just move the dust around and if you just want to do a quick dusting without using furniture spray/wax and a cloth they work great. I've dusted with them just about everywhere, but one caution would be to avoid any delicate items with parts that might get caught on the fibers and fall. My friend broke a favorite collectible when using one a little carelessly.

The Swiffer wet mops are okay, but my floorspace is pretty big and it's inefficient to use them here. I'm usually not a big fan of disposable cleaning products because they seem wasteful and unnecessary, like the disposable toilet brushes. Sure, cleaning toilets is a yucky job, but if the cleaner you use is supposed to kill 99.9% of the germs in the toilet wouldn't it also kill 99.9% of the germs on the brush? It's just a waste of money and resources to use the disposable ones, but who am I to judge people if they want to waste their money on such things? Anyway, the Swiffer dusters might be a modern indulgence, but in my household they are efficient ones. ;-)


Scrubbing Bubbles



I love, love, love Scrubbing Bubbles. And you don't have to keep them confined to the bathroom. They work anywhere. I've even cleaned the inside of the car with them. Yeah, sure, they are chemicals in a spray can, but if they work great that's what really matters. They have been around for a really long time, and I recall the old commercials for them when I was a kid. "We do the work so you don't have tooooooo...." is what they said as they slid down the drain. Cute. In all my years of testing new cleaning products, I've found nothing that is better than Scrubbing Bubbles.


The next installment in the Homemaking series will discuss my favorite floor cleaning machines. I have a particular penchant for these kinds of things.

Trash to Treasure: Or Let There Be Light 2

I sometimes have delusions of Godliness. ;-)

In the beginning, when God created the universe, the earth was formless and desolate. The raging ocean that covered everything was engulfed in total darkness, and the power of God was moving over the water. Then God commanded, "Let there be light" -- and light appeared. God was pleased with what he saw.

Genesis 1: 1-4 (Today's English Version)

Indulge me and allow me to say that so far science has not yet falsified the above passage. The "earth" was really and truly formless and desolate until the light came. That raging ocean engulfed in total darkness was the primordial stuff from which the universe "banged" ;-) and maybe it was even what we now call a black hole. No scientist has yet identified what stimulus, or "power of God", made the light first appear or caused that raging ocean of darkness to change and produce light (and matter).

Well, anyway, I've been turning trash into "shabby chic" lamps again. Because she knew I have a thing for old lamps and junk, friend brought me some lamp parts that some old lady was going to throw away. I made three lights from those parts plus a lamp base I already had.

I've had this cherub lamp base since I was in college. It used to be a regular lamp with a shade, but the kids destroyed the shade a while back. So I put the glass hurricane globe on it. Instead of wiring it there is a tea light candle that fits perfectly in the thing that holds the globe. It would be very easy to go back and wire it for a bulb later if I ever decide to do that.







Here is also a picture of it with the candle lit, but the picture isn't too good because of its soft glow.







Then I made two candlestick style lights from the other lamp parts. I gave one to my friend who brought me the parts, and here is the other one. They were almost exactly alike, except the one I gave her had a marble base and a bigger candle part. Both had the amber beaded bulb covers that make a nice design when turned on. These are fully wired and electrified, and not true candles. ;-) The pictures above are of the same lamp, one turned off and one turned on.


To see my other light creations:
Trash to Treasure: Or Let There Be Light 1 (2005)

List

Things that need fixed:

1. laptop (needs speakers and the battery charging pin-hole thing broke)

2. Centipede game (trackball is out of track)

3. microwave oven door (falling apart)

4. electric outlet downstairs (replacement)

5. Corvette lights (opening switch went out)

6. Sony Vega TV (won't turn on)

7. swing frame (needs welding)

8. credit card reader (for business, it's just completely f'd up)

9. beverage refrigerator (door falls off)


I'm sure there is more, but isn't this enough?

Jelly Day

Blackberry juice looks kind of like blood when it's draining from the strainer into a bowl. And the large quart jars are full of the thick, somewhat viscous juice too.

It's not an accidental or an artificial coincidence that I made jelly on almost the same date last year. It is just the way it has worked out. Despite a very late freeze this Spring and a drought this Summer the blackberries came as they normally would. This is because most life on this part of the Earth is well-adapted to big variations in conditions from year to year (and even from day to day because it was 20 degrees cooler today than it was on Monday). No year is ever the same as the last.

Also the big, late Spring freeze killed all the newly emerged leaves on the trees and shrubs like the blackberry canes. Did that spell disaster for the them? No, they sprouted new leaves within weeks. The trees and shrubs "knew" to do this because they have adapted to changes over many millennia and have retained the "knowledge" to replace frozen leaves. Life is resilient that way.

And actually, my blackberry yield has been even greater than last year's despite the bad weather. (But in all fairness several people have marveled at my yield because their own blackberry patches haven't done as well this year. Maybe I have magical powers? ;-) ) Last year by this time I got enough juice to make 14 cups of jelly, but this year I've made 20 cups. There are still berries ripening, and I'll probably pick a few more for pies. But I think I have enough jelly now. ;-)


I think I'll label these "Vicious Momma's Intense Blackberry Jelly" because it is that good. ;-)

I love the sound of lids popping and pinging to let me know the vacuum seal worked. As the jelly-filled jars cool from their boiling water bath in the canner, the change in temperature causes a suction to pull down the lid for an airtight seal. Pop, ping, pop, ping! Music to my ears. :-)

Hey, maybe I should get some kind of carbon tax credit for making my own jelly. No illegals were hired to pick and process the berries. I didn't even have to drive to get them. The jars are reused from last year. I wonder what the total economic cost of twenty cups of store-bought jelly is compared to twenty cups of homemade. Someone should do those calculations and lobby for a new tax credit for homemakers. ;-)

Which brings me to an opportunity to use some pictures I've had a while and wanted to put up here at some point. Back in the WWII era people were asked to do many things to help their country get through the Depression and the War hardships. One of those things was planting a "Victory Garden." Unfortunately, Al Gore might read this and decide to make it one of the sacraments of his Global Warming Religion. ;-)




For instructions on juicing berries see last year's jelly post.

Busy, busy, busy

Although it might be good news for some, I really haven't dropped off the face of the Earth. I've just been very summer busy with the kids and so on. Been picking lots and lots of blackberries and juicing them for jelly. Started painting the dining room, but I'm not sure I like the color though I have a fix for that. I've been piddling with a new sermonette that I hope to finish this week. As usually happens in the summer I'm the go-to woman for child care and am providing free babysitting to various kids for various amounts of time. This really isn't a problem. I consider it a form of volunteerism. ;-) It's very hot and dry here so keeping the gardens and plants watered is a job too. I'm very much enjoying home and home-centered activities these days. I hope everyone else is having a good summer so far.

I Can Do It!

I'm no Joanne Liebler or any of those other home improvement mascu-women who like to build houses or do other heavy construction, but I do my fair share (and probably more) of the maintenance around the house. I begrudgingly do some of it, like installing a new two-line phone jack to replace the one that was destroyed when the husband got mad and ripped the phone off the wall. Now, I'm not married to a violent man. I wouldn't marry one of those. But he is human and in the course of our marriage he has had a handfull of incidents where he destroyed some object out of anger and frustration. (I don't think I've ever actually done it, but I sure have wanted to at times. ;-) )

The phone in the laundry room was the one I used most because it was convenient since I'm in the laundry room so much anyway. And also it is near the kitchen where I also am often working. I don't even know why he got mad at the phone or whoever he was talking to because it happened many months ago and I forgot the details. He even got me a new phone for my birthday, way back in January. Well, it sat on the bar for months and months. (I don't nag anymore because it's a waste of energy.) And because the most convenient phone wasn't there anymore many times the phone never got answered before the machine picked up.

Well, yesterday I finally decided that I'd try to install the new jack myself. Here are the empty hole and bare wires:



If it was only a one-line jack that would be very straight-forward, but no, we have to have a two-line phone for business purposes. And it would be really nice if there was a very uniform coloring of the wires, but no, they have to make them all different so that the blue wires on the jack don't have matching blue wires in the phone lines, and so on. So I had to go to the box outside where the wires come into the house to see what colors the lines were and then figure out which ones corresponded on the jack. It didn't help that the only multiline jack at the store was a three-line jack. Well, it took me about an hour to do what it would have taken the husband about 15 minutes to do because of my inexperience with this obscure wire matching procedure. Here is the properly installed jack:



I have to confess that the entire time I was struggling with this man's work I was cursing men and feminism for putting me in the position of having to do a man's job. Is it not enough that I do all the laundry and other housework, as well as much of the outside work? And now I'm expected to install a phone jack too? How much money do men get paid for doing this job all day long? And here I am having to figure it out for free and take time away from my regular jobs to do it. Grumble, grumble, grumble. Man, I'm gonna see how long it takes for the man to even notice I did his job. I'm gonna make him feel guilty for this, or maybe even cut him off for a few days... Grumble, grumble, blah, blah, blah.

I had convinced myself that I would not feel accomplished for doing this thing and that it would be just as satisfying, or more so, if he had done it for me himself. Here is the phone completely installed and working:



So what happened when he got home from work? Did I make him feel guilty for not installing the jack and my birthday present from months ago? Well, of course not. I'm such a wuss. When he came in I felt myself grinning from ear to ear and heard myself ask, "Did you see what I did?!"

He looked bewildered and when I pointed at the phone he smiled with surprise and said, "You did that all by yourself?" (He knew I could all along, of course, and just wanted me to learn how to do it.) And I told him all about how long it took and how I grumbled through the whole process and how yes, I do feel accomplished about it even though I didn't want to do it and feel accomplished about it.

So, Rosie Rivetter, here's to you and doing what we women don't necessarily want to do but sometimes have to.

Happy May First

Last year I ranted about the communist takeover of perfectly good fertility celebrations featuring large May Pole phallic symbols.

This year I'll post a picture of my little hummingbird friend that has returned again this year.



Today my fifth grader's class had a field trip. On Thursday and Friday my other two have field trips. My mom never went on field trips with my classes when I was in school. We didn't go on very many field trips back then anyway, but those feminist "working" mothers couldn't take days off from their jobs to be "school" mothers on the rare occasions. Not that I'm scarred from that experience. I'm not. But I sure am thankful that I don't have to go to some office full of catty women every day and have to miss out on some of my kids' education. And it's nice to get to meet and talk with other mothers like myself who make mothering their primary job. Sorry, I mean no offense to women who work by choice or circumstance, but for my family I am willing to "sacrifice" extra money, nice clothes, and whatever other "benefits" come from outside employment.

And finally Spring has come to stay. Happy May!

Why I Love Blogging

1. It's where I can express all my wild ideas and opinions. Back in the day before widespread personal computing and Internet access and blogging, I used to joke with my friends that I'd love to have a newspaper column called, "My Totally Worthless Opinion" because back then for wannabe writers that was as close to blogging as you could hope for. Now I'm a Vicious Momma Hoe and can spread my worthless opinions indiscriminately into the Internet dimension for anyone who cares to catch them. ;-)

2. I've met people from all over the world. How cool this that?! Very! :-) And that they are, for the most part, highly intelligent, educated, and friendly to me is incredibly amazing. Wow, I'm just a housewife in Tennessee, but blogging has put me in touch with people in all walks of life all across the globe. Twenty years ago I never even dreamed of such possibilities!

3. There's an endless supply of amusement about what people are Googling. Example: What happens if your whisker biscuit gets bent. I sometimes feel bad about laughing at these searches because someone is really trying to find out how to fix a bent whisker biscuit. But I just cannot even read the term "whisker biscuit" without cracking up. So, for anyone whose whisker biscuit is bent, I'm very sorry and I sure do hope you find a way to fix it. But I also thank you for giving me a nice chuckle. By the way, my whisker biscuit hasn't ever been bent, that I know of ;-), but I'd say that if it happens it will disrupt aiming accuracy.

Also there have been lots of searches for how to roast pork. My only advice is to take your time. Slow cooking at lower temperatures is the secret to tender, juicy roasts.

Food for Thought

TURKEY, n. A large bird whose flesh when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude. Incidentally, it is pretty good eating.

EDIBLE, adj. Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

Ambrose Bierce

I've been in the kitchen all day doing as much prep work as possible to make tomorrow's marathon of cooking go as smoothly as possible. Some of the things already done:

cranberry sauce (made from fresh berries, not that canned crap),
baked and peeled sweet potatoes (for casserole),
chopped three cups of onion and celery (combined, not 3 cups each) for cornbread dressing,
baked cornbread for dressing (from scratch, not a mix),
shelled pecans for sweet potato topping,
mixed the rest of that 'praline' topping,
daughter crumbed up the cornbread (she loves to do that).

I'm sure I'm forgetting something. Anyway, I still should mash the sweet potatoes and mix up the casserole and maybe cook the turkey giblets for the dressing and gravy tomorrow. It is a lot of work to do all of this from "scratch" but it is a nice way of expressing thankfulness and true appreciation for all the good things in life. It is truly gratifying to put forth that much energy towards nourishing those I love. However, it's not only nourishing, but an uncommonly rich preparation of food. Rich in flavors, as well as energy (high calorie, for sure). Feeding someone is at the most basic level, giving life. This is why Jesus used bread and wine as metaphors for the Life he was offering to his disciples. There I go again with that religious kick. ;-) (maybe these "kicks" are actually like "tics" or something? lol)

To be honest though, if I had to do this all the time I wouldn't have time for anything else. And I like doing other things. But then, this is why we have a Thanksgiving Day set aside to lavish our loved ones in special ways.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Letting the days go by...

And you may ask yourself, "Well, how did I get here?"

"Once in a Life" by the Talking Heads

I've recently been doing a lot more 'homemaking' than working at the computer. Maybe I've had some kind of epiphany about my life and what it is and how good I really have it. And maybe I've been trying to be more appreciative of it all by taking better care of it. Maybe I've been Stepfordized? ;-)

Seriously though, I've been having some good conversations with a friend about our lives as women and wives and mothers, and I think I realized that I've gotten to that point in my life when I have most of the things that I've always wanted. And by 'things' I'm not talking about material possessions, though we can't completely eliminate the material things from the equation. I've begun to allow a feeling of accomplishment to establish itself in my psyche. I've looked back at the last 15 years and I can see real results from all of the struggles and hard work. It's pretty cool.

Of course, I can't expect everything to stay as it is (nor would that really be desirable to have a static life), but I hope that I can firmly establish my feelings of appreciation and satisfaction so that they won't disappear with any changes in my environment. I think I've kind of grown up. Well, that implies that a process is complete, but I know that our living and learning doesn't really have a stopping point (except for death, but even that is debatable). We all go through stages and phases and whatnot.

And I definitely don't want to sound like I think I've reached some grand pinnacle of life because I know I still have much to learn and experience. But I do think that I've reached a point of being more secure in my own self and not so dependent on what others might think or feel about me or anything else. Maybe many other people have already reached that point and I'm just late to the party again? But the timing isn't all that important anyway. After all we all are stardust...

Once in a lifetime...

Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...

In the Kitchen With Vicious Momma

update: to juice the berries, place them (rinsed very well and drained) into a stainless steel pan (do not use 'non-stick'), slowly heat to simmer and notice when the berries begin release their juice, let them simmer for a couple of minutes then remove from heat (best not to overcook them), crush them but don't pulverize them. I've found it easiest to use a "jelly strainer" that is usually found in the canning section of Walmart or whatever other store might have canning supplies. It consists of a metal frame that fits over a pan or bowl. A very finely knit net or mesh bag hangs from it. My grandmother used parts of old 'stockings', but the bags I use are sturdier than that. Fill bag with as much of the crushed berries as it will hold. Allow gravity to do its job until the dripping has stopped. Gently squeeze the bag to try to extract as much juice as possible. For a picture of the juicing in progress see the 2007 jelly post.




Yesterday I made 14 cups of blackberry jelly. For those who don't know, let me explain the differences between jelly, jam, and preserves. Jelly is made only with fruit juice. Jam has bits of fruit in it but not as much as preserves. Preserves use the entire fruit crushed and not strained at all.

I started with 2 quarts (8 cups) of juice that I had strained from the crushed blackberries. Juicing berries is a rather time consuming task which is why many people will make jam or preserves instead, but I really prefer the smooth texture of jelly. In home-cooking jelly is the premium product and preserves are the common one with jam somewhere in the middle.

I added 9 cups of sugar and one package of fruit pectin (insures a good 'set' or congeal). Pectin is probably not necessary with blackberries but it doesn't hurt to use it just in case. I actually only used half of what was called for because I had twice as much juice as the package recommended.

How did 8 cups of juice and 9 cups of sugar become only 14 cups of jelly? I guess there's a formula for converting the 9 cups of solid but granulated sugar into however many cups of liquid sugar, but I don't know it. I guess the cooking process boils some of the liquid away in the form of steam, but it can't really be that much, can it? And the heat is another outlet. Here's a site that might be helpful in explaining and I'll read it when I have time. Maybe if someone knows how that works out they will share an easier/quicker explanation.

Anyway, we have a bumper crop of blackberries this year. There is still about as many berries yet to ripen as I've already picked. I'll probably make more jelly as well as more cobblers that everyone begs for me to make. I especially enjoy taking this free food source and using it to delight my friends and family. The blackberries are completely wild and somehow it seems like a gift from Nature to be able to use that resource. I feel connected to the Earth and Nature: I'm just as much a part of the world as the birds and the bugs and the berries. Those who believe that humans are destroying the planet need to come to my world and experience this connection. I think it could alter their perception of themselves and Nature. We are all a part of this planet, but it is bigger and stronger and more adaptable than we give it credit.

Alien recycling (and Farm Day)

Luboš Motl's reference frame: Rae Ann: Alien recycling

Please read my guest post at Lubos Motl's Reference Frame. I 'won' that opportunity by being one of the four people who claimed being his 400,000th visitor.

Yesterday when I got home from a field trip to the Knox County Farm Bureau Annual Farm Day with my first grader I checked the progress of his contest and was amazed at the timing of my visit. I captured a screenshot and sent it to him. Thank you, Lubos!


More about Farm Day...

We saw all kinds of animals like horses, cows, chickens, goats, and sheep. There was an extremely cute miniature horse that the own said he'd sell us for $300. Of course, my daughter wanted it real bad. But I'm not ready for a new pet yet, and especially not one that requires even more care than a dog.

A group of bee-keepers had a display there too. While watching the bees busy in their hive I was telling my daughter that my great grandfather used to keep bees. The older lady at the table said, "And why doesn't his great granddaughter keep bees too?" Good question! So we talked a little about it and I'm now seriously considering it. She said that most bee-keepers are getting old and that they need some younger people to teach how to do it. I asked if the Africanized 'killer bees' have come here yet. She said not yet but that they will be here eventually and that bee-keepers have to learn new ways to deal with them. That's probably the only reason I'm hesitant about it.

We also learned how to make our own butter with heavy cream and an electric mixer. Of course, you can do it without electric appliances. They had assorted styles of churns on display also. I'm definitely going to try it with the mixer though.

On a side note, with our very warm spring weather so far the wild black raspberries are blooming early. Last year I made jelly from the berries. They are the best-tasting berries you can find. They are smaller and sweeter than true blackberries which also grow around the perimeter of the woods around our house. I'm a little stingy with the jelly I make because it's a lot of work to pick the berries and get enough juice for jelly. They grow on very thorny brambles that leave me looking like I've been in a fight with several cats. And to get enough juice for jelly you have to pick a lots of berries. It would be easier to make jam, but I like the smooth texture of jelly better. There will be a cold snap in the next month or so, and that is called 'blackberry winter.'

Home Economics

I'm a Home Economist. That's the fancy title I've decided I should have. Homemaker is a nice term on its own, but it has connotations these days that I don't like. And I really hate the term housewife. I'm not married to my house, though at times that seems the case. And I'm not like a housecat that is always confined to inside the house. I do get to leave occasionally. (Martha Stewart's house arrest was nothing compared to my life and the lives of women like me.)

The dictionary definition of economy is "thrifty and efficient use of material resources, frugality in expenditures, and the arrangement or mode of operation of something." I do that. The dictionary definition of home economics is "the theory and practice of homemaking — called also home ec \-'ek\." I do that too.

I never had any home ec classes in school. Back in elementary and middle school Sevier County couldn't afford to offer them. Then when I went to high school in Georgia most 'good' students were told not to 'waste' their time with those electives but to take only academic classes to better prepare us for college. I'm pretty sure my high school had some home ec classes, but I didn't know anyone who actually took them.

Back in the early twentieth century most colleges and universities had home economics majors. My alma mater, Maryville College, certainly did. Here are some photos from a 1926 yearbook from Maryville that I bought for probably 50 cents or a dollar at one of those old book sales at the college library. (I love old books, and this yearbook is one of the most beautifully produced I've ever seen.) The first is of a girl graduating with a Home Ecomonics degree. I find the description of her almost insulting, "she is one of our best Home Economics students, but we're not surprised because she is like some other girls who show it in their faces that they have a tendency for that sort of thing." Are they saying she's homely? She doesn't look any more homely than any of the other girls. I'd hate to read the description they would have given me!

.

This second photo is of the bedroom from the Home Economics Department's "practice house." I suppose back then it was necessary to learn the proper way to make a bed, but I have to wonder what other bedroom skills they might have taught in this "practice bedroom." Oh, just because it was 1926 didn't mean that they didn't talk about sex and all that. Isn't sex just another part of home-making? Maybe the description of the girl above was implying that part of home ecomonics showing in her face?



I find it almost funny that there used to be entire college departments devoted to teaching women how to be homemakers, or home economists. But I have to remember that in our time we have so many devices and things that are supposed to make our lives more efficient and easier. I guess women did have to go to college or somewhere to learn how to do certain home centered activities and how to do others better, like sewing and cooking, than if they just taught themselves. I'm sure there was more to it than I can imagine.

This brings me to my own efforts at home economics. This summer I've been canning tomatoes and making jelly. The photo below shows this summer's bounty so far. I like preserving the things that have grown from the earth. It gives me a better appreciation of where our sustenance comes from. It's amazing that one tiny seed can produce a huge plant that bears pounds of tomatoes for us to eat in the winter. I feel closer to God or the Divine or whatever you want to call It when I engage in the "thrifty and efficient use of material resources." It brings me joy. So far I've canned 11 or 12 quarts of tomatoes and 9 cups of blueberry jelly. (Some of the smaller jars are apple butter I made from apples my dad grew last year.) I have another batch of tomatoes to can today.

Trash to Treasure: Or Let There Be Light

I've been at it again. I have a thing for old lamps, the tackier the better. When one of our neighbors first moved in a couple of years ago I went over and met her. She was showing me their house since I had never been in it before. She caught me eyeing a couple of old lamps that were just sitting by the door and asked me if I wanted them. I said, "Yeah, if you don't want them. They're cool!" She said she hated them and was going to throw them out. One of the bases was broken so that it wouldn't support the glass globe part. I told her I really liked them and would figure something out to do with them. So, finally, after a couple of years I've done something.

This one has its original base. All I had to do with it was rewire and clean it and find a shade for it. I found this wicker shade at Walmart. It fits great. But I have to embellish things, so I added the beaded fringe.

This one was more work. The wooden part that replaced the glass globe is a big hunk of turned wood that the guy who sold us our hardwood floors gave us. I think it's maple by its grain and hardness, but I'm not sure. I had to drill a hole through the middle of it to get the wire through. I'm amazed at how perfectly it fits together. I wonder if that guy made that piece for a lamp but never did finish it. The shade is from Lowes. Again I had to add beaded fringe. I don't care if it's in style or not. I love it!