Quick notes to self...

Been doing a lot of 'deep' thinking, well, as deep as you can get with kids constantly interrupting. Notes to remind myself of where I've been:


EO Wilson vs. Gould, their feud's heirs and new scientific feuds

The Four Agreements, the four elements, and four kinds of intelligence

Mass Extinctions and adaptation

Is change the only fundamental constant?

Interesting quiz...

You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational. Cultural Creative 88% Idealist 69% Postmodernist 50% Existentialist 50% Materialist 44% Romanticist 44% Modernist 31% Fundamentalist 6% What is Your World View? created with QuizFarm.com

I was unfamiliar with the term "cultural creative" and did some looking. While I do agree with many of the things I've read about this group I have to say that the issues of global warming and environmentalism are 'iffy' to me. I do believe we can do some things to keep from hurting the planet, but I will not succumb to environmental wackoism. As with all other things there is a balance, and I really think that we humans do not hold the power to change this balance so significantly in the long term. Maybe I'm treading on 'Gaiaism' or something, but even that idea is a little too 'one-way' for me.

Speaking of global warming, I just watched a show last night on the Discovery Channel about Mount St. Helens. They were talking about the amazing growth of its glacier while all the other glaciers in the US have been shrinking significantly "because of global warming." Now, I'm not a geologist or climatologist, but that statement looks completely illogical to me. If global warming is shrinking all the other glaciers then what is so magical and special about Mt. St. Helens that protects it from this warming and destruction? It seems like the climate is not the factor here that matters. But, well, who am I to ask such questions? The part of "cultural creative" that fits best with my thinking is this tendency to question the "established wisdom" (even newly established wisdom) that contradicts the facts and Nature of our world. There is a bigger picture than what we see. More on this very soon (I hope)...

He Said, She Said: What are words for?

Do you hear me
Do you care
Do you hear me
Do you care

My lips are moving and the sound's coming out
The words are audible but I have my doubts
That you realize what has been said
You look at me as if you're in a daze
It's like the feeling at the end of the page
when you realize you don't know what you just read

What are words for when no one listens anymore
What are words for when no one listens
What are words for when no one listens it's no use talkin at all

I might as well go up and talk to a wall
'cause all the words are having no effect at all
It's a funny thing am I all alone

Something has to happen to change the direction
What little filters through is giving you the wrong impression
It's a sorry state I say to myself

What are words for when no one listens anymore
What are words for when no one listens
What are words for when no one listens it's no use talkin at all

Do you hear me
Do you care
Do you hear me
Do you care

Let me get by
Over your dead body
Hope to see you soon
When will I know
Doors three feet wide with no locks open
Walking always backwards in the faces of strangers
Time could be my friend
But it's less than nowhere now
less than nowhere now
less than nowhere now
now
ow ow ow

Pursue it further and another thing you'll find
Not only are they deaf and dumb they could be going blind and no one notices
I think I'll dye my hair blue

Media overload bombarding you with action
It's getting near impossible to cause distraction
Someone answer me before I pull out the plug

What are words for when no one listens anymore
What are words for when no one listens
What are words for when no one listens it's no use talkin at all

What are words for when no one listens anymore
What are words for when no one listens
What are words for when no one listens it's no use talkin at all

Do you hear me
Do you care
Do you hear me
Do you care
tell me what are words for
Do you hear me
tell me what are words for
Do you care
tell me what are words for
Do you hear me
so tell me what are words for
Do you care
so tell me what are words for
Do you hear me
tell me what are words for
so tell me what are words for
Do you care
so tell me what are words for
Do you hear me
tell me what are words for
so tell me what are words for
Do you care
so tell me what are words for

"Words" by Missing Persons

Last night we had a very typical situation that I think is a perfect example of male-female differences and how they can cause problems.

My daughter pulled a loose tooth and asked me if her big brother would want to see it. I told her that I thought he probably would so she went to show him. She came back and said that he didn't care. I asked her what he said, and she said that he said, "Whatever." I told her not to take it as him not caring. I told her that boys are just that way: they care but they just don't act like it or say they do, especially 10 year old boys. Then she said, "Well, Daddy doesn't do that." And I told her that some grown up men have learned to be different, but that even they aren't always expressive enough.

I got to thinking about it and decided that this was a very good lesson for her (and me). And I need to have a little talk with my oldest son to let him know that girls need and want boys to at least act like they care about things and that it doesn't diminish his masculinity show some care and concern, even about little things. See, this is the power of the feminine touch on the developing male psyche. Unlike the feminazis I'm not going to try to make my boys into girlie-men, but I will inform them of ways in which they can get along better with the fairer sex. Likewise, I'll continue to explain to my daughter that boys are different and that she should not let her own happiness and/or worth depend upon their unreliable interpersonal skills. It's a balancing act, I suppose. I hope I'm not screwing them up.

A Real Vicious Momma

Remember the black widow spider in the jar? Well, we have babies!



All of the dark little specks are babies. Bunches of them! And they all (momma and the egg sacs, and now spiderlings) have been in a sealed (no air holes) jar for 23 days. I've done some looking and found that it's not uncommon for spiders to survive long periods of time without food, water, or air. I even read claims that some spiders have lived up to 18 months without air, water, or food. Amazing!

Anyone who doubts the hardiness of Life and its ability to survive should pay close attention to my little experiment. In the photo you can see the remains of a butterfly and some other bug parts that the momma spider fed on a couple of months ago. However, as much as I've watched her I have not seen her feeding on any remains or on any of the babies. Time will show us if she does cannibalize the spiderlings or if they begin to cannibalize each other (or her) and how much longer they will survive without the introduction of any food, water, or air.

Again, if anyone is offended by my treatment of these creatures I'll remind them that I'm doing this for 'research'. Hell, if it's okay to use human embryos for stem cell research then it's okay for me to sacrifice the lives of some spiders to further my (and anyone who might read this) appreciation and understanding of Life. And besides, I'll assure you that Karma has already begun to play its game with me by invading my dreams with black widow spiders. Just last night I dreamed about my entire house being infested by them, yet it was less a nightmare than an interesting perspective and source of study.

And yeah, that bitch has still got to die eventually. ;-)

Anum Cara

Anum cara is gaelic for "soul friend." It is a similar idea as "soul mate" but more general and less 'romantic' in the sense of hearts, flowers, kisses, exclusivity, and all that. Not that an anum cara can't become a romantic soul mate; it can happen that way but probably isn't so common. Anum cara are those people with whom you feel an instant and deep connection and recognition that know no time or distance. Eh, maybe time and space are illusions after all. ;-)

Oh, no, not me..

A funny thing happened this weekend. The subject of Joan Jett came up in conversation and my friend said that she liked the song, "Bad Reputation." I agreed that it was good as well as some of Jett's other hits that were popular when we were teens. Then later that night we went to a bar where another person was having a going-away get-together. And guess what? That very song was playing as we walked in. I couldn't help but laugh a little.

Later in my visit we were doing some tarot readings. I was pretty unhappy with mine as soon as I saw the cards laid out. I'm familiar enough with all the cards to be able to get the basic 'meaning' of a reading just from looking at the cards and where they are positioned. But I do find it helpful and fun to read the guidebook too. Anyway, my reading suggested that I will continue on the path I'm on partly because of material security. I asked my friends if I projected a materialistic image. (Jesus, sometimes I'm so naive!) One of them said, "Well you do drive a fucking Corvette and live in a goddamn huge, fucking house." Stunned, I just said, "Oh, shit!" Note to self: don't ask questions if you think that you won't like the answer.

Now, I guess I should explain why appearing materialistic seems like a bad thing to me. I grew up very modestly, though not in true poverty. I've never been one of those label-conscious women who has to have designer this and designer that. Most of my clothes come from Walmart. I'm very practical and economical in my life. I've never aspired to or been a "yuppy" which is probably a very outdated term now. The disparity between the reality of my life and the appearance of it from looking at my most obvious possessions (house and cars) has bothered me since the comment was made. Anyone who knows me knows what I'm really like, but anyone who just sees my house and my car might come to completely opposite and wrong conclusions. For about a day or so I've let this concern me.

But then I remembered that song. And I don't really give a damn about my 'bad' reputation. Any material possessions I have are the result of 15 years of building a life and stability. We have struggled and lived in conditions that most people would consider deplorable. And I realize that when people see the car or the house they have no idea about those things. And really, it just doesn't matter. People shouldn't judge others' blessings and compare them to theirs. There are probably scriptures about that as well as the Commandments about not coveting. I think the message of those Commandments is more about not comparing you and yours with them and theirs than about lusting for someone else's stuff. I think that the lusting/coveting comes from the comparing, so if you don't compare then you probably won't covet. And just for the record, I think that the ones about not coveting another man's wife or servants is more a reflection of the status of women and servants as possessions during that era. A wife (or husband) is not a possession. I think different rules apply to people than to possessions.

So anyway, I've decided that I really don't give a damn about my reputation, whether it's good or bad. ;-)

Enormous Tubes: My Own Personal Internets

I'm late to the party, yet again, but this is too funny not to repeat:




It's NOT a big truck!

Beautiful Day

The planets seem to be properly aligned today so that I will be getting to go to Durham, NC, to visit with some friends for the weekend. I'll be getting in the little red corvette and hitting the road! I don't think I'll take the laptop since I can use their computer. It's about a 5.5 hour drive so I'll be getting some quality time with my favorite machine. Have a great weekend, everyone!

Tree of Life Update

Since the Tree of Life post has been particularly popular I thought I should do an update. This lemon tree is still full of life that is growing and changing.

See all the baby lemons:




And here is the biggest one I've found. It is about 2 cm long:




I haven't seen "possum bug" again so I think it is safe to assume that Praying Mantis did show him exactly how to play dead. And Praying Mantis has doubled in size:



A new development is this strange combination of spider webs. The one to the lower right of center is an orb weaver's design and the other at the upper center is a cobweb weaver's design. As far as I know spiders are an either-or weaver, meaning that they either weave round, orderly webs or they weave messy, unstructured cobwebs but not both. Okay, I just looked it up and there are four kinds of web-building spiders (orb, funnel, cobweb, and cellar). I could be wrong, but yesterday I saw Praying Mantis munching on what looked like a spider. Maybe he ate one and the other 'squatted' the webs. The small spider in the picture looks like an immature orb weaver type, but it seems to be staying in the cobweb. I'll keep watching it to see what happens. You can also see the long thorns on the lemon tree:



And just this past weekend I bought a glass of fresh-squeezed lemonade, so now my appetite for it is whetted. I can't wait until those lemons are ripe!

I think I need to hear "The Lemon Song."

The way you squeeze my lemon...



------------------
Oh, and my turnip (car) seems to have evolved into a fine lemon, which is a good thing. ;-) No more problems, and I must thank Carmax for going above and beyond to make things right.

Cool Hoe Collection

Carol has a wonderful post with pictures of her hoe collection. Imagine that! Anyone with a hoe collection is alright by me! Thanks, Carol!

Why Not?

Since I'm feeling pretty pissy anyway, I might as well share some of what has been bothering me other than the usual, endless "momma, momma, momma" that bombards me all freakin' day long, every day. Let me add the requisite disclaimer here about how much I love my children, my family, my life, so on and so forth: I love my children, my family, my life, and so on and so forth. Any words I write here are no indication of the health of my homelife. Okay, now, let's get down to the nitty gritty.

I'm so tired. Tired of never getting to finish things I start. I'm tired of criticism. I'm tired of waiting for other people to do what they need to do before I can do what I need to do.

I know that my life is very common and not particularly interesting to someone whose life is spent focusing only on his/her needs, wants, and interests. But people should never make the mistake of thinking that "common" is inferior in quality or importance. If there is a hierarchy to life as the scientists have told us, then they should also remember that the base or bottom of the hierarchy is that which supports all the rest. We 'lowly' and 'common' types are the ones who make it possible for other, more 'influential' types to do whatever they do that they think is so all-important. Those 'on top' should NEVER believe that they are better than those that hold them up. Nor should they ever forget that they can't be on top without all of that support, seen and unseen. You cannot build on an unstable foundation. And if you neglect your foundation it will deteriorate and fail eventually. This is true for buildings as well as relationships and societies.

None of this is original or all that important to say, but this is my little place to say whatever the hell I want to say.

Greetings from Chattanooga

We are taking a little family weekend trip to Chattanooga. God love these hotels with their wireless internet! Tomorrow we are going to Lake Winnie, a small but fun amusement park that we've visited a few times over the last few years.

I shouldn't say it, but I'm just not feeling it this weekend. I think I'm hormonal or something because I'm unusually tired and pretty cranky. And the thought of chasing the kids all over a park in 90 degree heat tomorrow just makes me that much more tired and cranky. If I was was more 'Thelma and Louise' I might go down the road to the little bar called "Old Folks Lounge." That sounds like just my speed. lol

Wireless!

Well, I haven't mentioned it yet because as is typical nothing works out simply and easily for me. But I got a laptop last week. I had planned on getting David one for his birthday, but being the way he is he insisted that I get a new one and he take the old one that our oldest has been using. This new one is really a 'family' computer, but technically it is mine, though my oldest is not so sure. ;-) I've been struggling with setting up a wireless router. I can't seem to do things like that in the simple and easy way that it is supposed to work. Anyway, it's given me enough headaches over the last week that I don't want to relive it all here trying to explain it. I'll just say that at least at this particular moment the wireless network is working on the laptop for the very first time. So here I am! The main problem now is that the desktop upstairs can't access the internet for whatever screwed up reasons. And I'm tired of calling Comcast about it.

My recent scarcity online is partly due to these computer issues, as well as some other much more fun things going on that I'll try to share later.

Welcome me to the 21st Century!

Another Song for Mary Winkler

I'm posting a lot today trying to empty some of the pots and kettles on the backburners of my mind. The kids are not here today so I have been able to actually work on stuff.

"All Apologies" by Nirvana

What else should I be
All apologies
What else could I say
Everyone was gay
What else could I write
I don't have the right
What else should I be
All apologies

In the sun
In the sun I feel as one
In the sun
In the sun
Married
Buried

I wish I was like you
Easily amused
Find my nest of salt
Everything is my fault
I'll take all the blame
Aqua seafoam shame
Sunburn with freezerburn
Choking on the ashes of her enemy

In the sun
In the sun I feel as one
In the sun
In the sun
Married
Buried
Married
Buried

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

All in all is all we are (x13)

There was a recent comment over at Lubos Motl's to one of his notes about the news of Mary Winkler's motive for shooting her husband and her telling him before he died, "I'm sorry." The comment suggested that saying "I'm sorry" is a useless exercise. For whatever reasons I've been pondering that idea a lot. I grew up with the tagline, "Love means never having to say you're sorry," from the movie Love Story. It's one of those sweet but sad love stories that can really influence a young girl in her tender, formative years. But of course, by now I've lived long enough to know that sometimes love means that you better damn well say you're sorry and mean it. So now I'm a little confused as to how I really feel about "I'm sorry" and what it does and doesn't mean and if it has anything to do with love.

Maybe Mary really didn't love her husband, but I want to think if that were true she would not have said, "I'm sorry." But I can imagine that her saying it was so loaded with a history of her constantly having to say "I'm sorry" ("All Apologies") for every little thing that her husband found wrong with her that it was almost an autonomic response ("Everything is my fault, I'll take all the blame"). But even so, that does not necessarily mean that she did not mean it and did not love him. I think that we often have autonomic responses to those we love, and unfortunately not always pleasant ones. ;-)

I used to be a chronic apologizer always saying "I'm sorry" when it was really completely unnecessary. I realize now that not everything is my fault because I am not God and don't control the Universe, or at least not most of it. ;-) But over-using "I'm sorry" does not have to mean that someone is insincere. Sometimes we want to make everything okay despite not being in control of the Universe. And sometimes in my own desire to make everything better I will slip back into the habit of apologizing for everything whether it is my fault or not. Sometimes just saying or hearing "I'm sorry" can make us and others feel better. Sometimes it's the only thing you want to hear. Sometimes it's the only thing you can say.

Maybe "I'm sorry" is overused and has lost its value in the world for most people. I don't know. But I do know that Mary Winkler is sorry for what she did. And it's really not my place to judge her motivation for saying she was sorry. What else could she say?

Oh, Oh, Oh!

I was right! My prophetic dream was right (basically)! Einstein was a Hoe!

I was just in the kitchen making lunch and listening to FoxNews Dayside and they were talking about Einstein and all of his romantic exploits. Maybe this isn't really big news but I was quite amused. I guess it takes one to know one. ;-)

Interesting Numbers

I just found that my blackberry jelly picture has been featured at the gallery of We Feel Fine by Jonathan Harris and Sepandar Kamvar. This is a fascinating site that sort of catalogs expressions of emotion in the blogosphere. They have created a system of "Movements" which reflect trends in emotional expression like "Mob" and "Murmurs" (only 2 or the 6 Movements). The data is collected and sorted by an autonomous system with no human involvement at all. I find some of their statistical findings very interesting:

4,003,906 TOTAL FEELINGS COLLECTED

937,753 TOTAL UNIQUE PEOPLE

185,664 FEELINGS from 243,873 UNIQUE WOMEN

267,977 FEELINGS from 107,696 UNIQUE MEN

These numbers are as of about 11 am Eastern. These numbers surprise me, but I'm not sure if I'm just looking at them wrong. Unfortunately, I've been unsuccessful at opening the main part of the site. Any interpretations of this data are welcome.



Unrelated but a trend I've noticed in the last week or so is that my Tree of Life post has been getting lots of traffic from all over the world, and about half of the hits are from "unknown" referrals, meaning that a search engine or other link from a website wasn't used to find it. The other half have been referrals from searches for songs about lemons. I find it odd and interesting when something that has been on my mind is also on the minds of other people somewhere else in the world. It's neat. There is still a steady stream of visitors to my Mary Winkler posts, but that does not seem too significant because that is a big news story unlike lemon trees.

In the Kitchen With Vicious Momma

update: to juice the berries, place them (rinsed very well and drained) into a stainless steel pan (do not use 'non-stick'), slowly heat to simmer and notice when the berries begin release their juice, let them simmer for a couple of minutes then remove from heat (best not to overcook them), crush them but don't pulverize them. I've found it easiest to use a "jelly strainer" that is usually found in the canning section of Walmart or whatever other store might have canning supplies. It consists of a metal frame that fits over a pan or bowl. A very finely knit net or mesh bag hangs from it. My grandmother used parts of old 'stockings', but the bags I use are sturdier than that. Fill bag with as much of the crushed berries as it will hold. Allow gravity to do its job until the dripping has stopped. Gently squeeze the bag to try to extract as much juice as possible. For a picture of the juicing in progress see the 2007 jelly post.




Yesterday I made 14 cups of blackberry jelly. For those who don't know, let me explain the differences between jelly, jam, and preserves. Jelly is made only with fruit juice. Jam has bits of fruit in it but not as much as preserves. Preserves use the entire fruit crushed and not strained at all.

I started with 2 quarts (8 cups) of juice that I had strained from the crushed blackberries. Juicing berries is a rather time consuming task which is why many people will make jam or preserves instead, but I really prefer the smooth texture of jelly. In home-cooking jelly is the premium product and preserves are the common one with jam somewhere in the middle.

I added 9 cups of sugar and one package of fruit pectin (insures a good 'set' or congeal). Pectin is probably not necessary with blackberries but it doesn't hurt to use it just in case. I actually only used half of what was called for because I had twice as much juice as the package recommended.

How did 8 cups of juice and 9 cups of sugar become only 14 cups of jelly? I guess there's a formula for converting the 9 cups of solid but granulated sugar into however many cups of liquid sugar, but I don't know it. I guess the cooking process boils some of the liquid away in the form of steam, but it can't really be that much, can it? And the heat is another outlet. Here's a site that might be helpful in explaining and I'll read it when I have time. Maybe if someone knows how that works out they will share an easier/quicker explanation.

Anyway, we have a bumper crop of blackberries this year. There is still about as many berries yet to ripen as I've already picked. I'll probably make more jelly as well as more cobblers that everyone begs for me to make. I especially enjoy taking this free food source and using it to delight my friends and family. The blackberries are completely wild and somehow it seems like a gift from Nature to be able to use that resource. I feel connected to the Earth and Nature: I'm just as much a part of the world as the birds and the bugs and the berries. Those who believe that humans are destroying the planet need to come to my world and experience this connection. I think it could alter their perception of themselves and Nature. We are all a part of this planet, but it is bigger and stronger and more adaptable than we give it credit.

Like Christmas In July

They threw outrageous parties, they paid heavenly bills
"Life in the Fast Lane" by the Eagles

Well, life in the fast lane of a rural backroad anyway. LOL It took me several days to completely recovered from our big Fourth of July celebration, but it wasn't a hangover exactly. I did not consume any alcohol. Maybe I'm just tired from the constant presence of demanding children who keep me from properly resting and reflecting.

Everyone now thinks that David is the God of Fire. July 4 is his day to shine as Grill Master and Fireworks Commander. I think it's appropriate that this most American of holidays is largely a celebration of the masculine control of fire, now in the form of grilling lots of meat and setting off the controlled explosions of fireworks. (Yes, I realize that fireworks are not an American invention, but it can be argued that Americans took that firepower and harnessed it to its extreme.) Indeed, it is the Day of Meat and Fire.

Sitting back and watching all the amped-up testosterone driven boys reminded me of depictions of certain pagan holidays that I've seen and/or read, and I wondered if the kids would have as fond memories of this night as I would. Would they think back on this night and remember the freedom and energy that fueled their connection to the element of fire? Maybe I am a little too philosophical about it? Did they appreciate the controlled rebellion that they were allowed to express? While the Fourth isn't a religious holiday it can have a certain flavor that inspires a spiritual kind of reflection. Patriotism can feel somewhat religious sometimes.

Certainly the fireworks of the Fourth are intended to remind us of the "rockets' red glare" of the Revolutionary War (as well as all other wars we've fought). But I couldn't help noticing the phallic nature of the fireworks and their explosions. ;-) Well, how can you not? If the female is the vessel then the male is the fire that makes the vessel cook. His fire is the catalyst for change, the ignition of life.

Anyway, it was like Christmas in July with all the festivities and food and family and friends. I even turned on the Christmas lights that are still hanging up on the porch. ;-)


I had begun this post on July 5th but have just now gotten to finish it. Well, I think I had originally intended to say more and post pictures, but that just didn't happen.

Quick Notes

Ken Lay: He's dead. Don't go celebrating his life. I got really pissed at Fox and CNN for starting up with those retrospectives that tried to paint him as something other than the criminal he was. Sympathy to his family, but no empathy.


North Korea: When I woke up yesterday I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me that they would do their missile tests late 7-4 for us and early 7-5 for them. I just knew it. But I didn't let it keep me from enjoying the most American of holidays. Our shin-dig was even bigger and better than last year's. More on that soon. These are quick notes because I'm still recovering from last night. ;-)

Happy Independence Day!

We're having our usual big shindig today with a cookout and fireworks tonight. Though the arsenal isn't quite as massive as last year's it will still be fun and fantastic.

I hope everyone has a safe and fun Fourth of July!

Mary's Cries

There has been a renewed interest in the Mary Winkler story. Apparently, she has told investigators that she "snapped" after a day of arguments with her husband. From the cnn.com article:

Winkler said the two had argued throughout the evening about several things, including family finances. The problems were "mostly my fault," she said, because she was in charge of keeping the family books.

"He had really been on me lately criticizing me for things -- the way I walk, I eat, everything. It was just building up to a point. I was tired of it. I guess I got to a point and snapped," Booth read to the court.

My original speculation about her motive was that he might have been sexually abusing one or more of the daughters. I thought this because that is about the only thing that I could imagine would make me kill my husband. But I have to admit that in reading her statement about feeling put down and unappreciated (my words) I can see how a woman might "snap" and do something drastic, especially when a large man has been verbally vicious and merciless for an extended period of time. Sometimes men underestimate the amount of fear and desperation that they can cause a woman when they put their energy into attacking, whether it is verbal or physical. Women look to men for support and approval. No, that isn't a 'politically correct' statement, but even feminazis crave the approval of men in the form of 'equality.'

Certainly, I'm not excusing Mary's crime. I'm only trying to have some empathy for her situation and mental/emotional responses to it. I think it is a fair statement to say that every married person has experienced at least one episode of the kind of criticism that Mary says she suffered. (It isn't only women who are verbally abused by their spouses, but the men who suffer are a much smaller portion.) Add hormonal and/or emotional issues to the mix and the results can be explosive.

A little advice to the testicle bearing members of society, especially those who live in a very traditional and/or Christian lifestyle:

1. Don't use your position of power in a relationship in a destructive manner.

2. Remember that your wife depends primarily on you for support (financial, emotional, etc.). You are the 'provider' so provide.

3. Never underestimate your power to hurt.

There is more to say, but I have to go right now.



Lubos Motl also has a detailed analysis of this story.


Addendum: As a woman who is living in a traditional 'gender role' arrangement and who is currenting experiencing hormonal instability I must say that my empathy for Mary Winkler is at an increased level. The point that I really wish and hope is understood is that men must appreciate their women and treat them with kindness and gentleness. I'm not blaming the victim, not exactly. But in my current state of mind I am saying that Mary Winkler is not the only woman in the world to have been criticized to the point of "snapping." Most of us when it happens don't kill our husbands but resort to other relief. To be a little too personal, I often feel like my sacrifices and efforts are far from appreciated and that every thing I do is subject to criticism or disregard. Sometimes nothing I do is good enough. I know that Mary Winkler felt the same way. No, I'm not about to shoot my husband. But I am going to cry for Mary and for myself and for every other woman who has even felt like all of her energy is spent thanklessly. Matthew Winkler was apparently one of those men who believed that his wife's only purpose was to please him. I think Mary did not want her girls to grow up with that kind of male influence in their lives. Well, if you ask me at this particular moment, I think the world might just be better off without him then.

It's not nice to fool Mother Nature!

For those who are either too young to remember or not American the title comes from an old Chiffon Margarine commercial (click to watch it). I always got a big kick out of it when I was a kid and would run around playing Mother Nature and saying that catch-phrase followed by a big thundering sound. I'm sure it got on my mother's nerves.


Have you seen Dr. Laura lately? Oh my God, Becky, look at her face, it is so scary. She looks like one of those plastic surgery addicts... It's gross. Look. *shake that healthy butt* (sorry, Sir Mixalot just popped into my mind)

I was on the very verge of receiving one of those life-altering revelations when I got distracted by Dr. Laura on FoxNews. OMG! She looks like a freakin' talkin' skeleton. Lady. Pu-lease. You've got enough Botox in your face to paralyze an army. Ick. I think she's a hypocrit. I always have. She might give some good advice, but a lot of it is garbage. But to be fair, I haven't read any of her books or listened to her much because it doesn't take long for her to bother me, no matter what she looks like. But now, man, she is a freakin' freakshow. Sorry, if I'm being too mean, but she needs to fire and/or sue whoever told her she would look good with a gallon of botox in her face.

Damn that woman and her plastic surgeon/dermatologist for causing me such distress that I lost my brilliant thought. ;-)

And Barbara Walters too. She's got that perpetually surprised look (with overly pulled open eyes and raised eyebrows) and the motionless upper mouth of botox. Who told her she looks better like that? She needs to fire/sue them too.

It's not nice to fool Mother Nature! *thunder*