It's All About the Tail

Piggy Personality Test

Click here to draw your own piggy.

You drew the pig:

Toward the middle, you are a realist.

Facing front, you are direct, enjoy playing devil's advocate and neither fear nor avoid discussions.

With few details, you are emotional and naive, care little for details and are a risk-taker.

With 4 legs showing, you are secure, stubborn, and stick to your ideals.

The size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are.
The bigger the better. You drew medium sized ears, you are a good listener

The length of the tail indicates the quality of your sex life.
And again more is better! You drew large tail, WOW!

But I'm not sure if the details part is right. Did I draw a lot of detail or not? I'd say I'm more of a detail person, but the other parts are true enough.

Fun Facts

In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb."
I'm glad times have changed.

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
Wow! I didn't know that.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
I know an older couple who have always slept in separate beds in the same room. They are very happy and healthy.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
My kids lost all our Monopoly money.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
I can read and write very small print. I'm half deaf in one ear and can't hear good out of the other (too many screaming kids and loud music).

Coca-Cola was originally green.
They were smart to change it.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.
My oldest son is a contortionist. I'm going to see if he can do that. If anyone could it would be him.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
I wonder why that is.

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
Cool!

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
Crap, we have two.

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000
Amazing!

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
Where can I get a hair analysis? Does that have anything to do with the color of your hair?

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer
Never read all of that one. I don't like reading in dialects.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
Maybe I'll get to ride one someday.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

I always wondered about that.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
My calculator doesn't have that many digits.


If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
I didn't know that.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
I did know that.


Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace
I live about 35 miles from my birthplace.


Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession
We've never named our boats, but I guess redneck bass boats don't count.


Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand
Wow!

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All invented by women.
I didn't know about the fire escapes and laser printers.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey
Yeah, but it will crystalize after a long time. You can liquify it again by heating it.


Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father's Day
Typical!


In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."
But they still had bedbugs.


It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month . which we know today as the honeymoon.
I've never tried mead.


In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."

It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
I did not know that.


Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
I did not know that either.

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
Yep, guilty as charged.




I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh!

That was easier for me to read than normal writing. Maybe I'm dyslexic?

Evil Part 3, I'm On a Roll

I was listening to FoxNews Dayside while doing some house work, and they had Kevin Trudeau, the natural cures infomercial king, as a guest. This guy is nothing but a quack. He's already served time for fraud of some sort, which he didn't specify on tv today but said, "it's in the book,' true to his sales-centered nature. Here is the little blurb from the FoxNews site:

"And have we got the cure for what ails you... or do we? The controversy over natural cures: for the clinically depressed, is an anti-depressant or a long walk better treatment? We’ll talk with bestselling author Kevin Trudeau, author of “Natural Cures,” www.naturalcures.com."

Unfortunately, the natural cures site is down for 'maintenance'.

I'm all for natural treatments and healthy living as part of treating illnesses and other conditions, but this guy is so full of shit that he needs a few more 'high colonics' to clear it all out. First off, he says that the 'sun does not cause cancer.' Bahaha He says that sunblock causes skin cancer instead. WTF? Tell that to my dad who has been fighting melanomas all summer and has never worn sunblock a day in his life.

AS for telling depressed people to just go take a walk. Yeah. I've been about as seriously depressed as you can get and if someone had told me to 'just take a walk' I would have walked right into the arms of Death. Sure, exercise is good for depression. But you can't tell me, or anyone else who has experienced the difference that the proper antidepressant can make, that they are bad. Are they overprescribed for people who are stressed but not truly, clinically, chemically depressed? Yes, but that doesn't mean they are bad. This guy goes in the Bad Seeds and Noxious Weeds listing along with Tom Cruise.


OH, and I've finally evolved from a slimy mollusk to a flippery fish!

Evil Part 2, Spittin' Venom

Another current issue with money causing problems is more personal, and it's actually got me so angry that I'm spittin' venom. As I referred to in a previous post I'm having a dispute with a doctor's office over a bill in which they are refusing to give me the negoiated discounted fee that they have under their contract with the PPO in association with my insurance company. Because we are self-employed we have to carry a high deductible policy to be able to afford health insurance at all. What's the point in paying for insurance and going to an 'in network' office if they aren't honoring their contracted discounts? I've been on the phone all morning with a nice lady from the PPO who is trying to 'close the case' and make me agree that the problem lies with the insurance company. She's just trying to get through her day with a minimum of upset, and I can understand that. But the problem is not with the insurance company except that perhaps their statements are misleading and erroneous in saying that I'm only responsible for the discounted price.

Part of the problem is that under our policy 'routine' care like physicals and yearly female exams and immunizations are 'not covered'. However, I have yet to find it written in any of my materials that 'not covered' means 'no discount'. So what if my yearly exam doesn't get applied to my deductible and out-of-pocket limits? That's all that 'not covered' means. Generations Ob-Gyn is the only doctor's office I deal with that is taking that to mean that they don't have to honor the discount in their contract with the PPO. My kids' pediatrician's office doesn't charge us the non-discounted price for their immunizations and physicals. They give us the discounted fee because they are in the PPO network. Our 'regular' doctor doesn't charge us the non-discounted fee for 'non covered' tests and visits. They apply the negotiated discount to all of our fees. I've only had this problem with this particular office. I think they are very greedy and opportunistic.

It seems that the root of this problem could be that these huge medical practices hire 'medical management companies' to run their offices. These management companies promise the doctors that they will take care of all their billing, etc., relieve stress about the financial end of things, and increase profits. Hmmm, how do you squeeze more money out of people? One way is to bend and stretch the rules and maybe even break them. Hey, look how big this practice is. What are the chances of someone making a fuss over $49.50? Even if one person does, if five others don't then we've made an extra $247.50. And if anyone does make a fuss then we'll just treat them like shit and they'll go away and we won't have to worry about them anymore. And that's one more space for another sucker!

I really hate that this has come down to a dispute over a piddly $49.50. I could write that check and send it. It won't break my bank, not today anyway. And I could continue to give my business to an office I have absolutely no respect for. I love my obgyn doc. He's very kind. I've been going to him for over 10 years, and he's very familiar with my unusually complicated obgyn history. Honestly, there have been times when we could have pursued malpractice settlements over my child-birthing and hysterectomy experiences. People have sued over lesser things than what I went through. But we didn't because we aren't greedy and opportunistic and don't believe in suing over every possible thing. Maybe that makes me a sucker. I just accepted what happened as the hand I was dealt and moved on. Were the doctors incompetent? Maybe they were. I don't know. We're all human and make mistakes and have bad days. But I definitely won't be going back to that office even if they resolve this issue in my favor. If they'd just drop all the crap then they wouldn't have to deal with me ever again.

I've also been in contact with the State of Tennessee Department of Commerce and Insurance, and one of the Insurance Investigators has recommended that I file a formal complaint with Consumer Affairs.

Root of All Evil, part 1

"For the love of money is a root of all evil: and some whose hearts were fixed on it have been turned away from the faith, and been wounded with unnumbered sorrows." (BBE- Bible in Basic English)
Timothy, 6:10.

"Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of its filling a vacuum, it makes one. If it satisfies one want, it doubles and trebles that want another way. That was a true proverb of the wise man, rely upon it; 'Better is little with the fear of the Lord, than great treasure, and trouble therewith.'"
Benjamin Franklin

"If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free; if our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed."
Edmund Burke


Anna Nicole Smith's case is going to the Supreme Court. Boy, would I love to hear that one! Honestly, I haven't paid that much attention to the details of the case, but I find it sad that people go to such extremes over money. Her deceased husband, J. Howard Marshall II, left a huge estate that has been the center all this contention between Smith and his biological heirs. I'd love to hear all the details of both sides, but with my limited amount of knowledge of the case, and I can say this because it's pretty obvious that my bid for the Supreme Court nomination is going nowhere, I think that Marshall's son is being excessively selfish. The estate is worth apparently hundreds of millions. Is that not enough to share? My god, a fraction of that would be enough for most people.

I have a problem with people who feel entitled to inheriting their parents' wealth. Maybe that comes from my background of parents not having much of anything to leave their heirs. Whatever fortunes we have, or lack thereof, we made for ourselves. We haven't relied on any kind of inheritance to make our way. (And we haven't cheated or exploited every shady opportunity that is available, like suing people over every little thing.) My dad has a little put away that he's living on for his retirement. I think he should spend it all to make his life enjoyable and comfortable. I'd rather he spend it than save it for me.

Maybe I'd feel differently if he had millions of dollars. But I don't think so. I just can't see why it's so hard for Marshall's son to accept that his father might have wanted his young wife to have a little part of his fortune. I'm not implying that Smith is an innocent here. But I do think that legally she probably does have some claim to some of that money. It bothers me just a little that our Supreme Court is going to be spending time and resources on this case.

Fourth Grade Math

(no, it's not your imagination, I have moved this post)

A number is greater than 456,782 and less than 489,211. The thousands digit is greater than 4. The 10 thousands digit is not 6 or 7. Give the range that the number would be in.

update: capitalistimperialistpig has a post up about the teaching of math and in one of his replies to a comment he said, "Education has this terrible vice of being a fashion industry. Textbook publishers and their collaborators in Ed schools - the profs who write the books - are always looking for a new gimmick to sell a new kind of textbook or learning aid."

I think he hit the nail on the head with that statement, and it reminds me a bit of our old 'friend' hfischer.

Spongmonkeys

This is for kristi, who said she had never seen these Quiznos commercials. I think they are hilarious. They never made me want to go buy a Quiznos, but they always made me laugh. I kind of hate that they quit running them, but the little talking baby (Baby Bob) ones are kind of funny too.

Click here to see the spongmonkeys.

On My Mind

It's a rainy Monday (we needed the rain, but I can still be pissy about it), and there are some things that really bother me:

1. Doctor's offices that try to screw you over by not giving you the 'discounted' price for a visit that they have agreed to with your insurance company. I've been going in circles over this with my former ob-gyn doctor (former, because I'm not going back to an office that is run like this one no matter how much the doctor knows about my guts), and now I've received a letter from a collection agency after I've repeatedly sent copies of the contracts that specify the negotiated discount fee and called on the phone about it (which is one thing that I HATE to do). I might just post copies of all of it for spite. Maybe that's illegal or wrong to 'out' a business like that, but I'm not letting them screw me over.

2. The nearest McDonald's now has Spanish on all of their signs and menus. And it's in bolder and bigger print than the English. I don't have a problem with some Spanish language on signs, but why the hell would the Mexicans want to learn English if everyone caters to their Spanish speaking? If I moved to a foreign country I would expect to learn their language. Dammit.

3. All this talk about 'urban' poverty is really making me angry. There is a lot of rural poverty too, and the poor people out in the boonies don't have a lot of the same opportunities that the city poor have like public transportation that makes resources more accessible. Nobody needs to jump my ass over this because I'm not saying what some people might want to think I'm saying. What I am saying is that more attention and concern should be directed towards the rural poor. They are truly in invisible people of this country.

Sand Castles and Eminent Domain

This is pretty much a quick note to myself right now, but since the levies have been breached again in New Orleans I want to repeat that it is insane to rebuild those levies. It is like making sand castles on the beach. The water always finds a way. It is the most persistant substance on the planet.

I'm reminded of all the small communities that were flooded in the process of dam building. I will try to go back and document some of that, but it was very prevalent in this area back in TVA's dam-building heyday. Entire towns were abandoned and flooded when the reservoirs were made by the dams blocking the flow of the rivers to aid in flood control, energy production, and navigation. Granted, that's not the same as an entire city the size of New Orleans, but the issue of eminent domain seems to peek its nose in here too, just like when all of those towns and farms were flooded by TVA. I know this sounds disjointed and makes little sense, but there is a connection here, I know it.

Maybe I'm wondering why it's okay to abandon and flood entire rural communities for the benefit of all, but it's not okay to abandon parts of a city that is below sea level when it is clearly too expensive and overwhelming of our resources to restore it to its previous state? Yeah, I think that's my question. It's like when my great grandparents' home was taken to build a highway (eminent domain). Did they protest? No, they accepted that their sacrifice was going to benefit many others. I think it's time for lots of people to consider that portions of New Orleans might really have to be surrendered to higher forces (water). The way I see it, doing that would be a greater benefit to more people than fighting the water. Can we really afford to spend billions on sand castles?

(sort of) Constitutional Study, part 3

Article I: The Legislative Branch

Section 6 - Compensation

The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States. (The preceding words in italics were modified by Amendment XXVII- see below.) They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.

No Senator or Representative shall, during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil Office under the Authority of the United States which shall have been created, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been increased during such time; and no Person holding any Office under the United States, shall be a Member of either House during his Continuance in Office.

Amendment XXVII - Congressional pay increases. Ratified 5/7/1992.

No law, varying the compensation for the services of the Senators and Representatives, shall take effect, until an election of Representatives shall have intervened.


I was reading a blog entry about what budget cuts we should consider to help pay for the aftermath of Katrina and the rebuilding of New Orleans. I've already stated my controversial opinion about the rebuilding of New Orleans (we shouldn't rebuild it exactly the way it was). And now that hurricane Rita is sending some threat their way again, I feel even stronger about not spending so much tax revenue on rebuilding a coastal city below sea level. I mean, aren't we supposed to learn from our mistakes instead of repeating them? Anyway, this person's post suggested cutting all the social welfare programs like food stamps, school lunch assistance, Medicaid, and the new prescription plan for seniors. While I agree that those programs are vulnerable to abuse and waste, I also know a lot of people who are the real working poor. And without the help that some of those programs offer they wouldn't be able to make it.

Did you know, for example, that someone who is a paranoid schizophrenic who is so ill that they can't work has to live off an SSI(disability) check of $812.00 per month? That isn't enough for shit. Mentally ill people like that have to live in public housing that is dangerous and run down, they have to get food stamps to be able to eat, they usually have no vehicle, and they only have Medicaid (or TennCare/HillaryCare in TN which has bankrupted the state and that's another topic) for health insurance. When people talk of cutting these programs they are thinking of the people who are lazy and cheat, but they forget that there are more who truly need the assistance. Perhaps the first place might be to stop giving assistance to illegal aliens. Most don't pay any payroll taxes because their employers pay them cash 'under the table' (it's cheaper for the employers as well as for the employees), but that's another topic too.

What does this have to do with Legislative compensation? Well, that blogger asked what we would suggest for cuts. My recommendation was that Congress should cut their salaries in half. Their salary is $162,100 per year, but some positions get more. Half of that ($81050) times 535 is $43,361,750. Sure, $43 million is a drop in the bucket, but it means more to the elderly and working poor than it does to the representatives who don't rely on their salaries to survive. They are asking all of us to sacrifice and tighten our belts, yet they won't do it themselves. Hell, they all could afford to forfeit their entire salaries for a year, and that would up the amount to about $86 million. Again, just a drop in the bucket, but it's a start. Click here to browse the federal budget. I know there are many other places to make cuts that the legislators don't have the courage or integrity to approach. They are all too eager to vote themselves raises, and the 27th Amendment really doesn't make much of a difference. So what if they don't get their raise until after an election? They still get it.

I do consider myself pretty conservative in fiscal matters. But I am also pretty compassionate about people who really do have difficulties in life. To throw out entire programs just because there is waste and corruption is like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I don't have all the answers, and many of the ones I come up with are laughable (sometimes on purpose). But I do try to 'think outside the box' and find new ways of looking at things. I do think that our leaders are going to have to start living up to their positions and doing a much better job of leading. And they are going to have to start thinking in different terms and doing things in different ways. Just look at the evacuation mess in Texas right now. They told everyone to leave and it turned into a freakin' stampede. They have got to have better, more detailed plans for everything.

It's clear that we Americans are largely very generous in times of need. We step up and donate our money, time, and other resources to help each other without much prodding. Isn't it ironic that the people who are our elected representatives don't demonstrate the same traits as their constituents?

UPDATE: just throwing out some rough facts, figures, and links for more information if you like charts, graphs, etc. like I do

from 2000 census, total # of 65+ is 34,991,753 and 13,978,118 are considered disabled (41.9%)

interesting quick facts about the American population


poverty figures about 6,620,945 families below poverty level (good chart on that link)


*funny side note, spell-check recommended 'foreskin' to replace 'freakin'

Word of the Day

SMITTEN, derivative of smite

Main Entry: smite
Pronunciation: 'smīt
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): smote /'smOt/ smit·ten /'smi-t & n/ or smote; smit·ing /'smī-ti[ng]/
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English smītan to smear, defile; akin to Old High German bismīzan to defile

transitive senses

1 : to strike sharply or heavily especially with the hand or an implement held in the hand

2 a : to kill or severely injure by smiting b : to attack or afflict suddenly and injuriously

3 : to cause to strike

4 : to affect as if by striking

5 : CAPTIVATE, TAKE

intransitive senses : to deliver or deal a blow with or as if with the hand or something held

- smit·er /'smī-t&r/ noun

I find it interesting that we use that word to describe the painfully pleasurable experience of feeling captivated or taken by someone or something that we can't really have. To be smitten is to be smacked by the hand of God or the Universe. It knocks us down yet we get right back up and want more. Any touch from God, even a painful one, is better than none at all. That is how it is to be attracted to someone who shines that inner Light. Just a little glimpse is so wonderful that you find yourself waiting/suffering/hankering for just whatever little glance you can chance. Is it wrong to feel smitten? I don't know. What do you do when it happens to you? Put on those blinders? Or stare hard and long and hope not to go blind?

"Twisted thoughts that spin 'round my head"

Sometimes I remove myself from the popular. It's some kind of odd rebellion against those things that are 'in' or 'hot' at the moment. I'm not sure why I do that. It's not because I think I'm too good or above it or anything like that. One example is the movie Pulp Fiction (1994). I just saw it for the first time earlier this year. I was probably the only person between the ages of 20-50 who had never seen it. Maybe when there's so much hype about things I think that it's just hype. If it seems too good to be true then it must be, right? Anyway, I did finally watch Pulp Fiction, and I'm glad I did. I really liked it a lot and have wanted to watch it again, which is for me the sign of a good movie. Maybe there's something about being exposed to something long after the fact. Maybe it gives you a different perspective. I'm not sure if I'd have liked it as much or more if I had seen it sooner. But asking that is like asking what the world would be like if I hadn't been born. It's pointless.

The entire decade of the 1990s was crap for me. I missed a lot of the pop culture stuff then because I was deep in the Darkness of Depression, and many difficult things happened over the years. Sometimes it seems like a bad dream to look back. The decade started off bad with one of my grandmothers getting killed by a drunk driver in Jan. 1990 and ended with a wounded marriage and unexpected pregnancy in Dec. 1999. In between those I lost my mother and all of my remaining grandparents. There was some good though. My kids were the best. But even bringing them into the world was unusually difficult and painful.

Much of the music of the 1990s is unfamiliar to me. Maybe I avoided music because it was too emotionally charged and I didn't need any more charging. Maybe I just couldn't relate to much of it. Maybe I immersed myself into Led Zeppelin and other 'classic' rock which was old, familiar, and comfortable. I don't really remember. This might sound absurd to many people in their 30s-40s, but I never listened to Pearl Jam's cd Ten until this week. Now that I've heard it I think that I might have gone completely insane if I'd listened to it when it came out. I just wasn't ready for it until now.

I like it very much. It sounds, to me, very Zeppelinesque (well, later Zeppelin), the track "Oceans" especially. Of course, I had heard some of the songs like "Jeremy", "Alive", and "Even Flow", but three songs do not a real impression make (pardon the Yoda syntax). But my favorite is "Black" because it is truly a masterpiece marrying the emotion and music and lyrics to make a complete sonic experience that takes you to a place you only get glimpses of otherwise. And if I'd heard it back in the 90s while all my pain was so raw and fresh I don't think I'd have been able to endure it.

Now that I've mostly left the Darkness behind I am playing catch up on some things. Does anyone else feel that way about certain things?

Just What the Doctor Ordered

Saw this over at eatmisery's:





Check out the website. I've got to have one of those keyboard buttons!

Honey-Baked Ham

I saw this quiz over at Rainypete's:

the Ham (38% dark, 42% spontaneous, 36% vulgar)

your humor style: CLEAN SPONTANEOUS LIGHT Your style's goofy, innocent and feel-good. Perfect for parties and for the dads who chaperone them. You can actually get away with corny jokes, and I bet your sense of humor is a guilty pleasure for your friends. People of your type are often the most approachable and popular people in their circle. Your simple & silly good-naturedness is immediately recognizable, and it sets you apart in this sarcastic world. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Will Ferrell - Will Smith The 3-Variable Funny Test! - it rules - If you're interested, try my latest: The Terrorism Test

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 23% on darkness You scored higher than 35% on spontaneity You scored higher than 47% on vulgarity

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating

I thought I'd get higher scores for darkness and vulgarity.

Tell Me Where To Go

Well, here's your chance to tell me exactly where to go. David has finally seen that I do indeed need a vacation or my head will explode. He suggested the National Corvette Museum in Bowling Green, KY. That would be a really nice long weekend. My ultimate destination of choice would be Green Valley Spa in St. George, UT, but that one is probably too far away and too expensive to push my luck of getting to go anywhere. So if anyone knows of any really cool places to visit that are within a day's drive of Knoxville and has more than camping style accomodations then please leave a comment with suggestions. No roughing it please! This is for my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being, and I don't like roughing it. And it would be nice to go somewhere different, somewhere that's not familiar (like Biltmore in NC , it's lovely and nice but been there, done that). Thanks!

Going to California (or I could have been Dr. Phil)

I've never been to California. I've been as far west as Las Vegas, the Seattle airport, Hawaii, and Alaska. I don't think flying over CA counts.

Spent my days with a woman unkind,
Smoked my stuff and drank all my wine.
Made up my mind to make a new start,
Going to California with an aching in my heart.
Someone told me there's a girl out there
With love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.

When I was in college my aim was to become a famous psychologist. I was one of the top students in the psychology department, and I was rewarded for that. I got the work-study position as Assistant to the Department which meant I got paid $4/hr (more than minimum wage back then) for grading papers, making copies, or whatever other tasks the professors needed. I loved it. I was getting paid to be the teachers' pet. They had very high expectations of me and I rarely disappointed, except for the one time I went to class stoned and started laughing uncontrollably and was asked to leave.

Then in the summer of 1989 between my junior and senior years when I should have been preparing for the GRE I met and fell in love with David. That's all it took for me to give up my plans (Made up my mind) to run off (make a new start) to grad school in California. I had even pretty much decided on UC Santa Cruz because that psychology department seemed like a good fit for my interests. And I also had a 'vision' or premonition, if you will, that going there would have put me on the path to achieving my goal of becoming a famous psychologist, kind of like Dr. Phil. That sounds so hokey. But there was a deep stirring in my soul (an aching in my heart) that seemed to be calling me there.

Took my chances on a big jet plane,
Never let them tell you that they're all the same.
Oh, the sea was red and the sky was grey,
Wondered how tomorrow could ever follow today.
The mountains and the canyons started to tremble and shake
The children of the sun began to awake. Watch out

I guess you could say I took my chances on David, and you might could call him a big jet plane. One of my professors was so absolutely livid (the sea was red and the sky was grey) with disappointment in my decision to stay in Tennessee with 'some dumb carpenter' that she could barely speak to me my entire senior year. She told me I was making a huge mistake just like she did when she was my age and married 'some dumb carpenter' and ended up getting stuck at home with a bunch of kids and being abused. She said I was wasting my potential for some good sex. (I swear to God she did say that.) I assured her I would NOT end up being abused (never let them tell you that they're all the same).

Then on that fateful day, October 17, 1989, the earthquake struck the San Franscico area (the mountains and the canyons started to tremble and shake). I was getting ready to watch the World Series when I heard about it. I took that as a sign from God that I was making the right decision by staying in Tennessee with David. The children of the sun began to wake. I'm not sure what this is an allusion to exactly (Billy Thorpe's song Children of the Sun was released in 1979 and for an interesting but long article about the Incas click here), but to me it means my beautiful, bright, shining children became a possibility. But yeah, watch out. When the gods want to punish you they answer your prayers. (That's a quote from Out of Africa.)

Seems that the wrath of the gods-
Got a punch on the nose and it started to flow;
I think I might be sinking.
Throw me a line if I reach it in time
I'll meet you up there where the path
Runs straight and high.

Because of the changes in my plans my school work became less relevant to me. I'd be lying if I said I didn't slack off a lot that last year. I did what I needed to do, but no more. No more extra effort. No more star pupil. By the end of the year when our comps came along I wasn't well prepared. On top of all the school disappointments the decade of the 1990s started off bad when my grandmother was killed by a drunk driver in January. The psychology department required not only written comps but also oral comps. I had always thought that the oral comps would be easy because I had always been able to talk to the professors outside of class. I thought I had an advantage. And I thought I knew my subject. But during the oral comps the professors ganged up on me (the wrath of the gods) and asked me all the things they knew were my weak areas. I was mortified (got a punch on the nose and it started to flow) when they showed no mercy, not even when I finally broke down into tears (I think I might be sinking; throw me a line ). Yes, I really did break down in the middle of my oral comps. It was, until I lost my mother, the worst day of my entire life.

But I overcame it and was glad to graduate and get on with my life. I still fostered fantasies of running off to California with David, but his life was here so they had to stay fantasies. For many years I subscribed to Sunset magazine because it gave me a vague feeling of keeping connected to that California dream (I'll meet you up there where the path runs straight and high). Then the children of the sun were born and my roots dug a little deeper here. Sometimes I've wondered how my life might have been if I had gone to California all those years ago. Sometimes I tell myself that I might not have survived being there for one reason or another. Maybe that's just 'reverse psychology.' And then Dr. Phil got famous and it reminded me of how I'd wanted to be like that. Now I'm glad I'm not, but I don't doubt that in another lifetime I might have been Dr. Phil.

To find a queen without a king,
They say she plays guitar and cries and sings... la la la
Ride a white mare in the footsteps of dawn
Tryin' to find a woman who's never, never, never been born.
Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams,
Telling myself it's not as hard, hard, hard as it seems.

So here I am today still reminiscing about going to California with an aching in my heart. I don't know if I'll ever get to California, and part of me is afraid that if I ever do it will be with an aching in my heart (to find a queen without a king; they say she plays guitar and cries and sings... la la la). I've lived long enough and been through enough to know that sometimes our dreams can mislead us into putting time and energy into fruitless journeys (ride a white mare in the footsteps of dawn tryin' to find a woman who's never, never, never been born). Or at least we figure out that whichever road we take, the less traveled or not, usually ends up at the same destination anyway.

So now I'm here looking backward and forward and all around, surveying my surroundings (standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams). It's beautiful, but somehow daunting, and I'm telling myself it's not as hard, hard, hard as it seems.

Shameless Self Promotion

I've redone the background on the Lyrics of the Moment blog. It's kind of busy and colorful, but I think it's still readable. If it's really hard for anyone to read please let me know so I can make adjustments. Thanks!

Meet Jewel and Lovely

These are the Jack Russell terrier puppies that my mother-in-law got for the kids. I call them Poopie 1 and Poopie 2. They sure are adorable. If they weren't I'd be having a full-fledged nervous breakdown instead of just a minor one.

Carrots, Eggs, and Coffee

I got this in an email and wanted to share it:


To all my "coffee" friends. This is just too great not to pass on. Carrots, Eggs and Coffee... You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again...

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you (I JUST DID); to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life. If you don't send it, you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone's day with this message!

It's easier to build a child than repair an adult.

Quotable Thursday

Can you imagine
what it would be like
to become aware
of an omnipresent ocean
of wild divine love
that has always been a secret to you
in the same way
that the sea is invisible to a fish? ~Rob Brezsny


Those who are easily shocked, should be shocked more often. ~Mae West

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. ~Albert Einstein

Beauty is all very well at sight, but who can look at it when it has been in the house three days? ~George Bernard Shaw

Half a love is better than none. ~Helen Rowland

Start every day with a smile and get it over with. ~W.C. Fields

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. ~Mark Twain

I can resist everything except temptation. ~Oscar Wilde