Truth In Advertising

Superlative

What can I say? Those speedos don't hide much. ;-) (I'd like to see Eli Manning, and maybe another guy ;-), in those.)

Congratulations to Michael Phelps on his superlative Olympics performances. But he should also be very thankful for Jason Lezak's greatness in the relays.

I've been a little annoyed with some aspects of the Olympics coverage on TV. It's just not right that they don't have any problems showing the beach volleyball women's butts with their bikini bottoms halfway up their cracks, but they just always cut off the shots of the male swimmers so that we can't see their packages in those cute speedos. It's not fair! ;-)

On the subject of swimming I have to say that despite a few cases of aches and pains, after lots of swimming this summer I've been feeling more fit than I have for about 10 years. Well, not that I could do the Rocket Queen again, but we have to consider that my body has survived more than a few major traumas in the last decade, including having two babies. So, at 40, I think I'm in decent condition and even much better than I was at 35. No, I'm not Dara Torres, but she has an entire team of massage and who-knows-what-else therapists keeping her 41 year old body in good working condition. I'm not sure I'd want to look like her anyway. I'm pretty muscular but her arms and shoulders are very mannish and scary-looking to me.

Congrats to all the Olympic athletes!

Shaft

Isaac Hayes found dead today.

Shaft!

Who's the black private dick
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
(Shaft!)
You're damn right

Who is the man
That would risk his neck for his brother man?
(Shaft!)
Can ya dig it?

Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's danger all about
(Shaft!)
Right on

You see this cat Shaft is a bad mother--
(Shut your mouth)
But I'm talkin' about Shaft
(Then we can dig it)

He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his woman
(John Shaft)

Wordle Fun

Saw this at Lubos Motl's and had to try it:











The first one is a general one of the blog, and the other two are more specialized. Can you guess which label I chose for the focus? ;-)

Phallic Clams

While checking my statcounter this morning I found that my Unusual Fossil post was linked in this forum. The following photos from that forum are quite impressive. I didn't know about these phallic "Geoduck" clams:

Dancing Indian Condoms

I think they should be running this Safe Sex video on MTV. ;-)

(update: thought of better title)

Matters of Size

This totally cracked me up! The actor's name is "Peter" and many of the food items he describes involve sausages and olive oil. ;-)

As for my opinion on penis size, well, it really depends on the man the penis is attached to. And that is my politically correct answer. ;-)

Where the Streets Have No Name

Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'
Into the future
Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'
Into the future

Fly Like An Eagle by Steve Miller Band

It's never been a big secret that I am somewhat certifiably insane. I'm not ashamed in the same way that anyone with any other chronic condition should not be ashamed. Is Stephen Hawking ashamed of his condition? I don't know. I doubt it because he, like me, probably realizes that shame is a total waste of valuable mental energy. Some people might not like that comparison of Lou Gehrig's Disease (ALS) with mental illness, but in reality both are chronic conditions that affect the nerves and brain. And even with treatment, those with mental illness are never really "cured" just like they still have no cure for ALS. I find it a bit concerning that some illnesses gain a celebrity importance while others that are more prevalent and just as dangerous are left in the shadows, or where the streets have no name.

I could continue my rant about the history of mistreatment of mental illnesses and the continuing social disinterest and stigmas, but I'm not really up to giving a good enough rant at the moment. I've got some mental "house cleaning" to do.

It's been painfully apparent to me from my earliest social memories that I've not been like the "typical" females. Maybe it was an early sign of my later problems. I don't believe that it is a social conditioning problem. It must surely be some inherent, genetic trait. My sister is very much a "typical" female. We were raised in the same conditions so it doesn't follow that upbringing had anything to do with it. Incidentally, although we love each other very much, we do acknowledge that we are completely different and not always compatible. This has got to be because of my inability to "understand" typical female behaviors and thinking. Maybe it's a type of autism? ;-) After all, nowadays they say 1 in 166 kids are autistic, so why wouldn't that apply to adults too? (I don't "believe" in most of the new "epidemics" because the numbers of certain conditions aren't actually increasing. The rate of recognition and diagnosis is increasing.)

Well, anyway, there is one particular type of female that I've never been able to tolerate. That is the catty woman. (More modernly known as the female 'bully') My own definition of a catty woman is a woman who insults and picks on other women in ways that mostly only other women recognize. As you can read in some of the articles linked above, female bullies are often charming and clever so that they disguise their true natures, especially to males because they are so easily fooled by women. ;-) Well, I would consider it a somewhat "typical" female trait to consciously try to make oneself look better than she really is (especially to males). I think it is fair to say that one reason men aren't as perceptive of many female tactics is because their corpus callosum (not to be confused with Corpus Spongiosum or Cavernosum) are smaller which limits their ability to process social interactions.





Hey, maybe my corpus callosum is too small and that's why I have trouble with some women? I guess they don't make a magic pill for that since I don't ever get any spam emails offering some wonder drug or herbal supplement to "increase your corpus callosum by three inches!" If you ask me, that might be more beneficial to the world than a pill meant to increase the "corpus spongiosum (or cavernosum)" by three inches. ;-)

Where was I? It's hard to find your way when the streets have no name. (lol, yeah, that was pretty lame)

No really, what was I going to say? Was I finished about the catty women? I'm not sure, but I'll move along anyway. I am capable of engaging in catty behavior in response to someone being catty to me. Sometimes that is enough to stop them, but when it's not I'll just fight like a man. Life is too short to waste time verbally sparring with some catty bitch when really all it takes to shut her up is to "manhandle" her. Anyone of any gender who's ever been bullied knows that the only effective way of stopping a bully is to beat the crap out of them. That way you've taken all their power away. It might not be pretty, but if it works it's okay. And really, any bully who's dumb enough to pick another fight with someone who's beat them really needs to be beat again. ;-)

I'm aware that some people find this attitude distasteful and uncouth and offensive. Fine. Whatever works for you. But I'm betting that my approach is more effective. Oh, I just thought of something. You could compare female bully behavior to those who demand "political correctness" and other such totalitarian things. The "consensus" on global warming uses the same tactics as female bullies to try to discredit anyone who questions them. Maybe that will make it more understandable to men if I give examples like that. I would say, what's the difference in people doing that to each other's groups and individuals doing it to each other? It's all the same with the same end results. So it's despicable behavior regardless of how many people are involved.

Oh, yeah, and to some men, when a woman fights back like a man, they will mistakenly think that she is the bully and not the other one. They are the easily fooled and charmed guys with a really tiny corpus callosum. ;-) (As far as I know there is no correlation between callosum size and spongiosum/cavernosum size.)

You know, I really need to stop bringing up the spongiosum/cavernosum because it keeps making me lose my thoughts. ;-)

By the way, I'm fairly certain that perimenopause has begun and it feels exactly like being a teenager again. It's just like adolescence except in the other direction. Anyone who remembers a difficult adolescence should empathize.

I'm pretty sure I had more to say, but I'm getting hungry. Since my appetite has been bad lately I should eat. (was trying to think of some funny joke about sponge cake but ???)


Addendum: Very strange. Today must be "crazy movie day" on the cable movie channels. First I saw "Mad Love" (1995) with Drew Barrymore and then "Proof" (2005) with Gwyneth Paltrow. I hadn't seen either of them before and enjoyed both. "Proof" was especially interesting and it "hit home" in some non-trivial ways. One thing was that the sisters' relationship reflected much of what I wrote above about "typical" women and not "typical" ones. (Paltrow's sister character was the "typical" one.) But of course, no mathematical proofs are involved in my own personal issues, though if I had to pick something to try to prove it would be that God does exist. ;-)

Sex Sells: Olive Oil

Click image for enlargement.

This is an honest-to-God real ad that appeared on page 204 of the August 2007 issue of Better Homes and Gardens magazine. I only scanned it and did not alter it at all.

"Discover the secret ingredient Italian chefs don't want you to dip into," it says.

Extra Virgin olive oil with "rich taste" is apparently this "secret." (The best secrets are the ones you share with someone you love.)

Well, of course, we are supposed to think, "Oh, yes, bread dipped in a nice extra virgin olive oil does taste good." But surely the art director in charge of creating this ad realized that their bread looks like a huge penis. Are we also to conclude that penises dipped in extra virgin olive oil taste good too? ;-)

Maybe there's something going on that I'm unaware. Do men use extra virgin olive oil as a lubricant when stroking their breadsticks? Maybe they should? Olive oil is supposed to be good for your skin, as well as your heart and tastebuds. All natural and healthy, smooth and delicious. How can you go wrong?

(I wonder if Bertolli sales are going to experience a sudden increase now.) ;-)


----------
For those who don't cook much or know much about olive oil, extra virgin olive oil is the premium grade because it's from the first pressing of the olives and retains the best flavor.

Ho, Ho, Ho, Green Giant!

We have had our first casuality in heroes attempting to meet the challenge proposed in my previous post. The Jolly Green Giant has tried and failed.



I really didn't mean to emasculate him, but maybe because of his advanced age his fruits were probably about to fall off anyway. I guess the heat was too much for him.

Well, in memory of the Green Giant's (he's not so Jolly anymore) younger and more intact and virile days, here is a commercial from 1970:




Actually, maybe the feminists will say that I'm a hero for making the Jolly Green Giant pay for all those cans of niblets. ;-)

Besides, It's Not Nice To Fool Mother Nature!

Cock-a-doodle-do!

Cock-a-doodle-do!
My dame has lost her shoe,
My master's lost his fiddle-stick
And knows not what to do.

Cock-a-doodle-do!
What is my dame to do?
Till master finds his fiddle-stick,
She'll dance without her shoe.

Old Nursery Rhyme

There's not much worse than a lost fiddle-stick... ;-)

Naughty Beardsley

Find more naughty Beardsley here.

And for not naughty Beardsley look here.

To learn about Lysistrata look at the wikipedia article.

This posting is in no way an anti-war statement. I just like the phallics in this picture. I'm such a simple creature. ;-)

Magical Vines and Adjacent Universes

The Vine
by Robert Herrick
(1591-1674)

I dreamed this mortal part of mine
Was Metamorphoz'd to a Vine;
Which crawling one and every way,
Enthrall'd my dainty Lucia.
Me thought, her long small legs & thighs
I with my Tendrils did surprize;
Her Belly, Buttocks, and her Waste
By my soft Nerv'lits were embrac'd:
About her head I writhing hung,
And with rich clusters (hid among
The leaves) her temples I behung:
So that my Lucia seem'd to me
Young Bacchus ravished by his tree.
My curles about her neck did craule,
And armes and hands they did enthrall:
So that she could not freely stir,
(All parts there made one prisoner.)
But when I crept with leaves to hide
Those parts, which maids keep unespy'd,
Such fleeting pleasures there I took,
That with the fancie I awook;
And found (Ah me!) this flesh of mine
More like a Stock then like a Vine.

That's one of my all-time favorite poems. It's almost pornographic. ;-)



A birdhouse gourd vine has 'magically' grown over one of my butterfly bushes. I grew gourds a few years ago but not since (intentionally), so the kids must have broken one in the yard and spilled the seeds. And actually, these 'accidental' ones are growing even better than the intentionally grown ones. There are two large gourds already and many small ones growing and many more blooms to come. It blooms at night with these big 'veiny' but delicate white flowers. They don't smell good, but they kind of glow in the moonlight. There is one starting to open in the photo.

It is a single plant that has branched out to cover the butterfly bush and weigh it down. (I don't think it will break.) It's amazing how those tendrils 'know' to grasp onto whatever they touch and wind themselves around it. (That brings to mind images of dna replicating.) There is a primal sensuality about tendrils and vines, as Herrick's "dream" also suggests. And to the overimaginative it could appear to be some kind of rudimentary intelligence that a plant responds to touch and has developed a way to exploit that ability.

This year I've been blessed with many volunteer plants, but this gourd vine is the most surprising and perhaps symbolic. Maybe Nature wants me to make more birdhouses and rattles? Yeah, that's probably it - to make up for the ones I didn't finish last time. Nature always manages to get her way. ;-)

So, why rattles? Well, it's a shamanic thing. Many, probably most, shamans use drums and rattles to "call the spirits" and enter trance states and assorted other things. I'm intimidated by drums. I'm not ready to make that much noise. ;-) And I find myself more receptive to a rattle's sound. But I rarely ever shake a rattle because I don't want the kids to wonder what Momma's doing or to think I'm even that much weirder.

Maybe Nature wants me to make rattles and to actually use them? Great, I can hear it now, "knock-knock-knock Momma? What are you doing?" I think I'll keep one in the kitchen to chase away the "evil spirits" that make my lights go off and on by themselves sometimes. Yes, that really does happen, but I'm assured by the resident electrician that it's not "supernatural" though he hasn't fixed the problem yet. ;-) The rattle will be more fun anyway.

What do magical vines have to do with adjacent universes? Last night when I started this I knew where that was going, but today I'm afraid I can only guess. Maybe I was thinking about the surprises of life and how we handle them. When I found the vine growing on my butterfly bush I could have pulled it out to save the bush from any potential damage. But that seemed too rigid and boring. I like to let things grow and to see what happens. I can imagine that if we ever 'find' an adjacent universe and can actually see into it we should be prepared for surprises and possibly even disappointments. What if we find that our counterpart in the other universe doesn't fit our ideal image? Do we reject it or say, "oh, I made a mistake"? Or do we look closer and try to see if the differences are only a reflection of some kind of 'quantum' variations? I don't know. It's not really up to me anyway.

Besides, even if we do wake to find that our magical vine is really 'just' a stock there are lot things that stocks are good for. ;-)

I have "issues" LOL

Freudian Inventory Results

Oral (60%) you appear to have a good balance of independence and interdependence knowing when to accept help and when to do things on your own. Anal (40%) you appear to have a good balance of self control and spontaneity, order and chaos, variety and selectivity. Phallic (70%) you appear to have issues with controlling your sexual desires. Latency (50%) you appear to have a good balance of abstract knowledge seeking and practicality, dealing with real world responsibilities while still cultivating your abstract and creative faculties and interests. Genital (43%) you appear to be somewhere between a progressive/openminded and regressive/closeminded outlook on life.

Take Free Freudian Inventory Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Like Christmas In July

They threw outrageous parties, they paid heavenly bills
"Life in the Fast Lane" by the Eagles

Well, life in the fast lane of a rural backroad anyway. LOL It took me several days to completely recovered from our big Fourth of July celebration, but it wasn't a hangover exactly. I did not consume any alcohol. Maybe I'm just tired from the constant presence of demanding children who keep me from properly resting and reflecting.

Everyone now thinks that David is the God of Fire. July 4 is his day to shine as Grill Master and Fireworks Commander. I think it's appropriate that this most American of holidays is largely a celebration of the masculine control of fire, now in the form of grilling lots of meat and setting off the controlled explosions of fireworks. (Yes, I realize that fireworks are not an American invention, but it can be argued that Americans took that firepower and harnessed it to its extreme.) Indeed, it is the Day of Meat and Fire.

Sitting back and watching all the amped-up testosterone driven boys reminded me of depictions of certain pagan holidays that I've seen and/or read, and I wondered if the kids would have as fond memories of this night as I would. Would they think back on this night and remember the freedom and energy that fueled their connection to the element of fire? Maybe I am a little too philosophical about it? Did they appreciate the controlled rebellion that they were allowed to express? While the Fourth isn't a religious holiday it can have a certain flavor that inspires a spiritual kind of reflection. Patriotism can feel somewhat religious sometimes.

Certainly the fireworks of the Fourth are intended to remind us of the "rockets' red glare" of the Revolutionary War (as well as all other wars we've fought). But I couldn't help noticing the phallic nature of the fireworks and their explosions. ;-) Well, how can you not? If the female is the vessel then the male is the fire that makes the vessel cook. His fire is the catalyst for change, the ignition of life.

Anyway, it was like Christmas in July with all the festivities and food and family and friends. I even turned on the Christmas lights that are still hanging up on the porch. ;-)


I had begun this post on July 5th but have just now gotten to finish it. Well, I think I had originally intended to say more and post pictures, but that just didn't happen.

More Seredipitous Synchronicity

I was just now exploring around the edge of the woods to see if I could find any more interesting fungi, etc., when I happened upon a large black rat snake. I screamed like a girl! LOL I knew it wasn't a poisonous rattle snake or copperhead, but it was still pretty large (about 6 feet long) and threatening because it was shaking its tail in the same way as a rattle snake. I took that as a warning of 'stay away!' I'm not really afraid of snakes that much, but I do have a healthy respect for anything that can bite whether it is poisonous or not. It's kind of weird because just the other night I dreamed about a snake and the scenario was very similar as today. Also, snakes are famous phallic symbols! ;-)



Latet anguis in herba. A snake in the grass. Again, sorry for the poor quality photo, but I just wanted to get a quick shot and get out of there!

"P" is for Provocative

This how it works: Comment on this entry and I will give you a letter. Write ten words beginning with that letter in your journal, including an explanation of what the word means to you and why, and then pass out letters to those who want to play along.

Kat gave me the letter "P". Here are my words in no particular order:

Plants I love plants! I love to grow things. Plants are endlessly fascinating because they are so different from us, yet we coexist and we rely on them for survival, among other things. I've been studying herbal folklore for a while. ;-) Plants have been here longer than we have, and they would continue to live even if we all disappeared. Sometimes it seems as if plants and humans live in parallel universes or dimensions or something, well, maybe parallel isn't quite right because our existences intersect. My ten year old and I were talking about other universes/dimensions and thought that an hour-glass model was an interesting one. But anyway, although we differ in so many ways from plants we also share certain basic characteristics. I could go on but I have 9 more words to do!

Psyche The mind is probably the one thing I ponder most. I studied psychology in college. I think that despite its efforts to act like a hard science it really is more a system of philosophy. This doesn't necessarily make it less valid or less important or influential. Just different. Anyway, Psyche was loved by Cupid. You really can't separate love from the mind or soul, which I tend to think are the same thing. When I left school there was a 'new' trend of thought that implied that the psyche is purely biological, or the product of chemical and electrical processes inside our brains. I was somehow drawn to that model, but it also left many questions that I couldn't answer (partly because I ended my studies). I wondered, if it was purely biological then could it be reduced to a formula or pattern of some sort? Well, no one has succeeded in finding such a formula that I know of. In some ways it seems the study of the mind is analogous to theoretical physics, but I think it's a mistake to link the two too closely as some are prone to do.

Ponder I'm ALWAYS thinking. From an online dictionary: synonyms ponder, meditate, muse, ruminate mean to consider or examine attentively or deliberately. PONDER implies a careful weighing of a problem or, often, prolonged inconclusive thinking about a matter [pondered the course of action]. MEDITATE implies a definite focusing of one's thoughts on something so as to understand it deeply [meditated on the meaning of life]. MUSE suggests a more or less focused daydreaming as in remembrance [mused upon childhood joys]. RUMINATE implies going over the same matter in one's thoughts again and again but suggests little of either purposive thinking or rapt absorption [ruminated on past disappointments]. I do all of those different varieties of thinking, but I'm afraid that 'prolonged inconclusive thinking' might be the most common one. Not that this is always a bad thing! For many subjects require prolonged inconclusive thinking, just like in the paragraph above about the psyche. (and there are other activities that also benefit from some prolonging, ;-), though incompletion is unsatisfactory)

Philosophy Now, I can't tell you all the different types of philosophical thought even though I did take at least one course about it. But I've always been a philosopher of a sort, even as a child. That just goes along with all that pondering!

Phenomena There are a couple of meanings to this word that apply here. One is "objects or aspects known through the senses rather than by thought or intuition." Now all this thinking I do doesn't just spring from my mind uninspired by observations of the world around me. They all, well, almost all probably, are directly related to some physical/sensory observation. Even my 'imaginary' thoughts are usually based on some physical reality that I've noticed or sensed. The other meaning of "phenomena" that is important here is "rare or significant facts or events; exceptional, unusual, or abnormal persons, things, or occurrences." When you notice so much in your environment it's natural to note the unusual events and try to figure out how they fit into the grand scheme.

Pattern When thinking about the world and trying to construct meaning out of all of these observations certain patterns become apparent. In some areas of examination, like math and physics and chemistry, these patterns can be written out in formulae. We humans find some comfort in patterns and predictability (because they are a natural part of the environment in which we've evolved). This search for patterns seems to be the motivation for so many areas of study and pondering. I like thinking about archetypal symbols that represent various intrinsic patterns of our world. Ancient people noticed these patterns and expressed them in whatever limited ways they had, like petroglyphs, etc. Whether or not we'll ever be able to discern the ultimate patterns that seem to govern our existence is the great unknown. And we will always seek that.

Particular There are many meanings for this word. One is "singular," and another is "distinctive." But the ones I'm most fond of are "concerned over or attentive to details: METICULOUS [a very particular gardener]" and "hard to please: EXACTING." I recall my grandmother describing certain people as "particular." When I was a child I confused that with "peculiar" which is rather similar. I've always been a 'detail' person, a 'nit-picker', a 'stickler' (and sometimes a tickler), but let me tell you in case you didn't know, people just hate that! Why is it people always pick on those of us who are particular about things? We don't mean for it to make others uncomfortable, and certainly we don't usually mean for it to make others feel inferior if they aren't as meticulous. Nowadays some of us have even gotten a fancy label called Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. The Obsessive-Compulsive part isn't so offensive, but man, the "Disorder" part is way off the mark! We want order, not disorder! ;-) Anyway, I can and do coexist peacefully (usually) with people who are not so 'particular' because I'm aware that not everyone is like me. And thank God for that, right? LOL

Perception I'm a primarily visual person. By that I mean I think in images. I love that photography reflects the world the camera sees, and with some skill a photographer can work with the camera's abilities to more accurately capture his or her own vision. And now with digital photo manipulation it is even easier to bring those mental pictures out of the mind and into a form that others can see/perceive. I've always been interested in perceptive thresholds among various species of creatures, as well as differences between individual people. For instance, butterflies can see ultraviolet light. Wouldn't it be cool to see what they see? And I think that individual differences in people's perceptive thresholds are probably not adequately studied and understood. These differences might could help explain some particular phenomena.

Parent Since I'm a mother being a parent is the first and foremost identity I have. I'm many other things and fill many other roles, but I will always be a parent. Is my purpose in this existence to procreate? Yes and no. Certainly, a person can live a fulfilling, important, and influential life without having children. Growing my babies in my body and now watching them grow, develop, and learn has been the most amazing experience of my life, but I know that if I hadn't had children I would still exist and function and influence the world.

Penis Last but not least! I was going to make this first on the list because honestly, it was the first "p" word I thought, but I decided that it might distract so much that the other words wouldn't be noticed. I've made no secret that I'm a bit phallicly obsessed. I've heard some women talk about the penis and how ugly they think it is. No way! Not me! I think it's a beautiful biological sculpture. Well, except for this one I saw once, but I'll spare the details. But make no mistake. Being phallicly obsessed does not mean that I have penis envy! I don't want to be a man! I like being a woman. I don't want a penis attached to me. I just want, er, okay let's not 'go down' *snickers* that path. (Damn, sometimes I crack myself up!)

Okay, sorry that I sort of lost it here at the end. I hope this isn't an unsatisfactory conclusion! ;-) But I've been working on this phucking post all phreakin' day because I keep getting interrupted. And perhaps this is an example of when prolonging something isn't beneficial.


There are lots of other great "p" words, but if you want to participate in this word game/exercise leave a comment and I'll give you a different letter!

Happy May Day

Inspired by kat's post of her pretty roses I wanted to post some pictures from around my yard, but blogger isn't wanting to upload them for some reason. Oh well. Blame it on the illegal aliens! (I haven't paid attention to the news today. Are they doing their big protest/boycott?)

I was going to do a post about the significance of May Day, but when I looked it up I found that the Commies have adopted it for their own purposes. Just like a bunch of socialist pigs to ruin a perfectly good fertility celebration.

I did read that the Maypole started out as a phallic symbol. Well, that's cool! Gotta love those phalluses!

I can't seem to gather my thoughts enough today to put anything together for a coherent post. I was thinking about my favorite archetypal symbol (well, other than a phallic symbol), the Sacred Spiral. I might still do that eventually, but I'm just not up to it right now.

My throat is feeling scratchy. It's probably allergy related, but who knows? I guess I'll take some Motrin and drink some more orange juice.

I don't know what's wrong with me today, other than it being Monday. I don't do Mondays very well.

I've heard Clyde the frog but haven't seen him. He's so small, and I suspect that he's hiding in one of the flower pots, maybe even under the dirt. I'd look up whether frogs do that (burrow under dirt), but I don't feel like doing that either.

A million things to do, but I think in spirit maybe I'm an illegal alien today and will sit on my ass and do nothing.

What am I protesting? Maybe a lack of phallic symbols...

What a Surprise!

You scored as Penis. You are attracted to the: penis. You are a penis man/woman. Penis 100% Boobs 58% Face 58% Abs/Stomach 42% Butt 33% What Body Part Are You Attracted To?(pics) created with QuizFarm.com

Whisker Biscuits and stuff

On our little roadtrip to Corvette and cave country in Kentucky we saw lots of funny things. One was Interstate "Peep" shows. We didn't go to one, but I did ask David if he wanted to since he kept mentioning them every time we saw a billboard advertising them. I had never seen that kind of thing advertised on billboards. But this was Kentucky.

Then another day we were driving on a 'back' road and I needed to find a bathroom. We stopped at a convenience store. While in the restroom I noticed one of those condom machines hanging on the wall. The sign on it said, "Gentleman's Love Kits." Well, I'd never tried one of those machines before so I figured what the heck. I put my two quarters in it and turned the knob fully expecting nothing to come out. But what did was this:













I might have laughed out loud because when I came out of the restroom the cashier looked at me funny. Maybe they had a hidden camera in there and he saw me get it out of the machine. Or it could have been the mischievous smirk on my face. But when I got to the car I showed it to David and started laughing. I don't think he knew what to think.

I didn't open it. I just put it in my purse and forgot about it. Then the other day I was looking for my lip gloss and found it again. I mashed around on it to try to feel if there was actually something in the box. It felt like a tiny balloon in there.

So this morning I decided to open it and see what exactly it was:









Yeah, that's right, some love kit, huh? If any of us needs a finger condom (blech) then we're covered. But that's the only thing it would cover. I find the whole thing totally hilarious.

Then on Sunday morning in the hotel David turned on the tv and was watching a hunting show. I heard something that I couldn't believe I was hearing. They were talking about "Whisker Biscuits." Excuse me? Did they just say Whisker Biscuits? David just laughed and said yeah, they are arrow rests for bow hunting. If you click that link you can see pictures of several varieties of Whisker Biscuits, and you'll see that they come in different sizes...

Biscuit Size Selection:
Small: Easton ACC, Axis, Slim Carbons and Aluminum shafts up to size 1816
Medium: Carbon shafts with internal components and aluminum shafts 2013 - 2117
Large: Easton Fat Boy and aluminum shafts 2212 - 2317.

Here is the Deluxe Whisker Biscuit QS:

"The Deluxe Whisker Biscuit Arrow Rest® is now available with a factory installed Quick Shot Kit. The Quick Shot biscuit will compliment any bow but is perfectly suited to enhance an expandable broadhead setup. The entry slot is tapered to allow quick and easy arrow loading while preventing brush snags when stalking or walking to your stand. The sturdy design means your biscuit will not be bent or twisted and gives you the confidence to know your shot will always be on target! Optional stick-on felt pads are provided for silent arrow loading."












Now, I know nobody wants a twisted or bent biscuit, right? Especially, not their whisker biscuit.