Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Funny....

This email was forwarded to me from one of my high school friends. My family lived in Marietta, GA, when I was in high school. I went to Joseph Wheeler High School in Marietta (Cobb County). I've italicized what also applies for Knoxville, TN.


This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, Georgia, has ever lived in Atlanta, has ever visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who already lives in Atlanta, or knows anyone who has ever heard of Atlanta.

Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets.

The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.

All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House."

Except that in Cobb County, where all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken."

Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with:

Peachtree Circle
Peachtree Place
Peachtree Lane
Peachtree Road
Peachtree Parkway
Peachtree Run
Peachtree Terrace
Peachtree Avenue
Peachtree Commons
Peachtree Battle
Peachtree Corners
New Peachtree
Old Peachtree
West Peachtree
Peachtree-Dunwoody
Peachtree-Chamble
Peachtree Industrial Boulevard

Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone for directions, they will always send you down Peachtree.

Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. Coke's all they drink there, so don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola.

The gates at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport are about 32 miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.

The 8 am rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5 pm rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2 am Saturday.

Only a native can pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is "pawntz duh LEE-awn."

And yes, they have a street named simply, "Boulevard."

The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules. If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week. Overnight, all grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.

I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta, which has a posted speed limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."

Don't believe the directional markers on highways. I-285 is marked "East" and "West" but you may be going North or South.

The locals identify the direction by referring to the "Inner Loop" and the "Outer Loop."

If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be going southeast.

Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to one of the interstates and you will soon find one in the middle of the road.

The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus a couple no one has seen before.

If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites.

If you notice a vine trying to wrap itself around your leg, you have about 20 seconds to escape, before you are completed captured and covered with Kudzu, another ill-advised import, like the carp, starling, English sparrow, and other "exotic
wonders." (I think kudzu is pretty, but it is swallowing large portions of the South.)

It's not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.

"Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to the store).

Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2 years old.

"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

If you understand these jokes, forward them to your friends from Atlanta, Georgia and those who just wish they were.

7 comments:

Kat said...

Actually my 18 month old already recognizes the cup from Petros and yells "tea!". She loves tea, especially their orange tea! (I only give her a little and just occasionally)

Rae Ann said...

yeah, my kids like sweet tea too, esp. my 9 year old. it's better for them than Coke! Ah, Petros, isn't that just around here? Maybe we're only ones who know what that is.

dpnation.net said...

apparently there are 32 streets in total with the word "peachtree" in it (according to the sign at peachtree westin).
also, i drive by a "west peachtree place" on the way home from work, which is like 1/4 mile long and doesn't actually go anywhere, but a peachtree nonetheless.

Rae Ann said...

dpnation, it's crazy down there. I learned how to drive in the Atlanta area. There are more Peachtrees now though than back then! Whew!

Assorted Babble by Suzie said...

Rae Ann you said it all!! (smiling) With my Dad living there now for over 25 years and me for a few also....I know what you are talking about oh so well.

Did you ever go to the Stoned Pony? in the late 70"s? Can't believe I remember that. Lynyrd Skynyrd use to hang out there back then with other friends from the band Kansas! My rommate dated the lead guartist from Kansas and we hung out w/many. I dated a member of Foghat...no one hardly remembers them.

Thanks again for trudging up old memories of mine. You are too kool......and can bring back a partially blocked brain.

Rae Ann said...

suzie, I only lived there from 83-87, and I was too young to go to cool hang-outs. but I LOVE Foghat, and one of my favorite songs ever is Slow Ride. You've got some great stories in you!!

Assorted Babble by Suzie said...

Did not think about me being so old. (boo hoo) Smiling!! Yeah, I was about 19 or 20...somewhere in there.

Did you ever get a chance to read my story last week, before my big depression, "International Intrigue" well that was another ordeal story. (lol) Thanks for commenting on my late visit here.

Love ya and thinking about your family.