Saturday, March 25, 2006

And the Wind Cries, Mary

Update:Mary's Cries, 7-2-06

(Lubos has a thoughtful post on the Winkler murder. For the complete lyrics to "The Wind Cries Mary" by Jimi Hendrix click the title above. Actually, did Hendrix write this song or was it a cover of an old blues song?)

After all the jacks are in their boxes
And the clowns have all gone to bed
You can hear happiness staggering on downstreet
Footprints dressed in red

And the wind whispers, MARY

A broom is drearily sweeping
up the broken pieces of yesterday's life
Somewhere a queen is weeping
Somewhere a king has no wife

And the wind, it cries, MARY

Many of us have speculated about the motive for Mary Winkler to shoot her husband dead. Did the wind whisper her name and tell her that murder was the only way? Did she hear the happiness staggering down her street and wish that it was hers?

Or was she killing a monster only she (and her daughters?) knew? It's hard for me to 'get into her head' because she was indoctrinated with a belief system very different from mine. But we do have things in common. We both have three young children. We both chose to live in a marriage with 'traditional' gender roles (but put into practice in very different ways). We both are from Tennessee.

I first heard about this story when the Amber alert came on TV. At that time they hadn't even said that Mary was a suspect. But I've watched too many crime shows and knew that the spouse is usually the first person to suspect in a murder at home. And the thought that he was molesting one or more of those little girls 'popped' into my head, probably because that is the only thing that would cause me to kill someone intentionally.

Another clue for me is that the police won't tell the motive even though they know it. The delay could be due to their need to gather more evidence (interview the children) and take steps to protect the children as much as possible. When there are accusations of incest there must be extreme care taken in how the children are treated. And I will admit my personal feeling that if he was molesting one or more of his daughters then my views of Mary are much more lenient. Would it justify her actions? Not in the eyes of the law, but in my motherly eyes it does. I know that is wrong, but as a "vicious momma" that's just how it is.

Of course, I could very well be wrong (some of you tell me that often enough). For the sake of those girls, I hope I am.


Assorted Babble by Suzie said...

Hey Rae Ann,
Did you check out Huff Crime Blog while visiting? Below is the comment I just left on my section. You will find tons of info there if interested.

Last night at huff crime blog, he had over 75 comments and some from people that claim to know the victim and family. Within his post there is a link to a comment made on another blog anonymous that apparently there are questions why he left his two prior churches before going to Selmer. They left early from their previous church to move to Selmer approx. a year ago.

His post is excellent and full of information. It is worth the read along with all the interesting and informative comments.

It is strange here with search results from blogsearch, technoria, google, yahoo, etc...all involving the Winkler's case... the majority are from the southern states even though many from across the nation. So it would not surprise me with the ones from TN that may very well know the victim. I have had an overwhelming amount of TN visitors.

Anonymous said...

How could this wonderful woman, Mary Winkler, commit this horrible crime? Of course there is no possible cenario which would justify the shooting. What plausible explanation to justify the assasination of an upright husband by a loving wife? Self-defense? But he was shot in the back. If her life was being threatened, why did she panic and flee afterwards? It wasn't accidental, as Mary has been charged with premeditated murder. The husband may have been caught in an evil, out-of-character act. The tight-lipped silence may be to protect the dead man's reputation. Would a loving wife kill her husband, if she found him attempting to rape, or otherwise molesting, one of the daughters? or even if wrongly convinced of sexual abuse? Maybe, if she had experienced the same as a child, and her unwillingness to forgive had produced a psychotic fury against any real or imagined threat to her girls' integrity. She may have killed because she loved her daughters, and she may be silent because she loved her husband. In which case, we may never know the motive.

Rae Ann said...

d johnson, do you have children? If so, can't you imagine your extreme reaction to discovering someone, let alone your spouse, committing some horrible crime against them? It's not hard at all for me to imagine my rage causing me to lose my better judgment in that situation. It's hard for me to imagine any parent not having such a reaction. The fact that she shot him in the back suggests to me not meanness or cowardice, but fear, extreme fear. After all, she was much smaller than him and was already in the position of being very much under his control. Likewise, she fled because she did panic. It's easy for me to imagine that if I'd shot my husband and killed him that I'd want to run away with my kids too. Have you never had the urge to just run away, especially under mental/emotional duress? I think she ran because she just couldn't do anything else. And she surely didn't want to take her children back home to see their dead father. The fact that she was so cooperative and confessed after being found also leads me to believe that she knew she would be caught eventually. Of course, this is just my own speculating. Your use of the word 'assassination' seems quite inflamatory and misplaced here too. And my strong feelings regarding molestation are not the result of any experiences in my past. It is purely a strong, protective mother instinct.

Kat said...

I'm with you RaeAnn, one doesn't have to be a past molestation victim to have strong feelings against it. If I caught anyone harming my girls I would do much damage to that person. Who knows the psychological trama this woman has been through to feel the need to do what she did?

Or maybe she just lost it. I'm curious to find out.

Anonymous said...

To better explain my scribbings, Rae Ann, I did not intend to cast Mary in a negative light. I'm sorry you read it that way. I wanted to do exactly the opposite, attempting at the same time to be fair to both sides in a no-win situation involving two godly but fallible people. We do not know what happened. But certain harsh facts are indisputable. One person was killed, the other pulled the trigger. From all the glowing reports of her acquaintances, I am convinced she would not have taken this drastic, deliberate action without a powerful, seemingly justifiable, motivation. In all probability, this was a repeat offense, and she had warned him she would not alow it to continue. I really sympathize with her. If the child abuse scenario is correct, as I believe, she has my deepest sympathy. She may have killed because she loved her daughters, and she may be silent because she loved her husband and her God, not wanting to bring shame on her man, and on her God. This in itself would be highly virtuous, notwithstanding her instant of crime. I pray she will be vindicated, and that negative fallout for God's name will be minimal. At a moment like this, Rom. 8:28 seems impossible, but God's promise is ours to believe.

ellipsis said...

I am someone's mommy and I swear to God, if anyone abused her I would rain the fury of hell down on them. Period. It is a matter of DNA and the mothering instinct--we are wired to protect our young. Women who choose to fail to protect their children are unworthy of having those children. And we all know that there are plenty of women who allow their kids to be abused and look the other way. They make me sick.

I am a happily married woman, but no one REALLY knows what goes on in anyone's private world, not really, and yes, if I had unimpeachable evidence and proof that my husband had ever molested our daughter, God help him.

By the way, I very close to where Carlie Brucia lived and was grabbed and murdered. How her family resisted the urge to storm the county jail and kill the monster who did such evil to that sweet little girl is beyond me. I would have made it my one and only mission in life. But that's just me.

Anonymous said...

In this same theme, just a note I made while studying the family photo of the "perfect family": Neither of the two older girls look happy; in fact, the younger of the two older girls looks sad and you can see the pain in her eyes. The oldest manages a weak smile, but her eyes are sad, too. I think their faces speak volumes.

Anonymous said...

I have talked with someone who attended school with Mary (Carol) Freeman and also attended the same church as Carol Freeman's family (during her pre-college years). Based on that insight, I would speculate that whatever happened (with Mary Carol) the problems go back much farther than her marriage to Matthew.

Joey said...

I attended school with Matthew at Freed-Hardeman and know their family. I can definitely see how the general public who did not know them and are standing the outside could come up with any number of possibilities for the motive. However, what the family and friends are trying to let everyone know is that none of the possibilities make any sense. These are fine fine people with polished reputations. By that I mean they are real, down home, sit back and chill with you kind of people - not polished and fine in the bourgeois sense, but in the "you'd love to have their outlook on life" sense.

I wish the world could know that this is an issue that goes back far before Matt entered Mary's life.

I would ask everyone to hold off on speculation until everything is out.

Anonymous said...

In response to what Joey said about the Winkler's "polished reputation" that's all it is a reputation. Just because someone has exhibited perfect behavior for an extended period of time doesn't mean anythin.

Coming from experience let me tell you that everything is not always as it appears on the outside in a religious family's life. I was married for 6 years to a man who came from a strong religious family. His entire family were God-fearing, church-going, youth pastors and ministers of music etc. Our entire marriage we went to church every Sunday and were involved in many church activities. While on the outside everything appeared perfect our marriage was falling apart. He was a sex addict. I will not even attempt to clue you in on how awful it was behind the scenes.

This is just to let you know that things are not always what they seem. In religious families I believe that there is tremendous pressure to appear supernatural...never let anyone know you have an issue. But the fact of the matter is that everyone has problems...even if you are the pastor of a church.
I believe that religious people need to admit that they have issues and not have to be afraid what everyone are human.


Super Joshua said...

Mary was having an affair. That's how the police found her in the first place. That's why they say the motive is specific, and also why they are charging her with premeditated murder.

She was even pregnant:

"I deserve to be kicked in the stomach." ~ Winkler to Killingsworth (People)

Anonymous said...

While I’m tempted to respond to some of these posts, the more I read, the more I am convinced that those making false and hurtful accusations will never apologize or retract their statements anyway.

However, I will say that based on the facts as I understand them, many of you are WAY off.