Apparently, in addition to breaking and spilling some of my spa goodies the TSA has abducted my brain. Perhaps they scanned it and saw that it is full of dangerous and explosive ideas that must not be allowed to see the light of day. Or maybe it's just a cute souvenir to go with my panties. Either way, I had an appointment to see a urologist and have some tests to try to find the cause of my recurring UTIs. I had been dreading it all week. I knew it was this afternoon and even made sure that David would be able to pick the kids up from school. I went to the office and signed in. The receptionist looked at me funny and asked who I was seeing today. I told her, and she said that he wasn't here this afternoon. The other receptionist asked my name so I told her. She gave me an annoyed look and said, "Your appointment was yesterday." DUH. Okay, so I told them I was so sorry and that I've been out of town and got my days all messed up. The nice receptionist was nice about it and made me a new appointment for tomorrow morning. The annoyed receptionist was just kept being annoyed. I called David and apologized to him and told him that I would be able to pick up the kids. He said that was okay.
So, what is the claims process for recovering my missing brain? How can I document that I actually did have it previous to my return from Utah? (I don't have any receipts.) What kind of kinky conspiracy have I found myself in? If you see me out and about be very suspicious as to whether it is really me. The TSA might have created a doppelganger with my brain to execute some secret plan. If I am acting strange and saying weird things, then it's their fault! Help me!
The preceding message was brought to you by the Friends of the Brainless Who Nonetheless Have Delusions of Persecution and Grandeur.