Saturday, August 25, 2007

Dear Friends and Neighbors,

Please accept my apologies. I'm afraid that the recent heat wave of record-breaking proportions (by one or two degrees in reality) is entirely my fault. No, it's not because I drive an SUV approximately 32 miles a day. ;-) The real reason is because I am absolutely burning up inside and all that heat has to go somewhere or it might literally cook my insides. This is probably some pre-menopausal red giant phase which will eventually end in collapse into a smaller, cooler white dwarf phase. So just bear with me as we all suffer through it. It won't last forever. I'm not sure if there is any way of "stopping" it or reducing its intensity. Perhaps we should set a challenge, in the tradition of fairy tale heroes, to find a solution to redirect or absorb this heat? Please feel free to offer suggestions, except to kill me because that wouldn't work anyway since that would cause me to blow up into a supernova and destroy everything. ;-)

Thanks for your understanding. And really, I am terribly sorry for all this discomfort and am wishing for some real relief soon.


Rae Ann aka Vicious Momma


The Notorious BG said...

How about you find a rink and skate around a little bit. Probably haven't been in ages and now that the kids are back in school would be the perfect time. Be something for YOU for a change. Cool you down, maybe meet some new people too...

The Guy said...

In Cheech and Chong's movie "Nice Dreams" there's a scene where Cheech is chasing these two fine lookin' mommas around asking them if they want a "big pop" which is a large popsicle. You could probably find an ice cream truck stocked with just such a confection. Applied correctly it it should be both shocking and cooling. The extra hydrogen (in the ice) would prevent a star from transiting into carbon fusion which is what leads to red-giantism.