In spiritual terms the left-hand path is concerned with self-determination and control of outcomes for one's own benefit. It's not necessarily negative, though sometimes people will make it that way. It's considered more morally neutral. There have been times in my life when I leaned toward that path. It is not related to political leftism except that many self-proclaimed leftists are actually very selfish despite claiming to be concerned for the "collective."
At this time my left-handed path is literal since my right arm is confined to this sling due to the rotator cuff repair on my right shoulder. Typing this with one hand is slow and tedious, but I'm actually getting pretty good at eating and other daily activities with my non-dominant hand. But it's tiring and time-consuming. Everything takes longer. Some things I just cannot do.
I'm having a bad day today. (started writing this on 11-13 but didn't finish until 11-17) Yesterday was great though - felt very energized and I think that was because the November 11 auroras energized me like they did last year.
Anyway, some conversations Wednesday night left me feeling like my life is built on a house of cards and that several people are wanting to pull theirs out which would make mine collapse. I'm too old and tired to think about that stuff, especially in my current condition which is already struggling with one-handedness. Considering that, it's natural for my thinking to move towards self preservation even if it's uncomfortable to feel like others might feel challenged by my setting boundaries and stating my position.
There is a lot of giving on my side and that is how I like it, but it's also important to feel appreciated without having to present an inventory of that giving. I don't like feeling like I am holding things over others' heads but I also need to defend my own self and encourage people to recognize what they are getting and how it would affect them to no longer have that. This might sound like narcissistic manipulation according to so much of today's popular psychobabble, but in the same breath those babblers speak of protecting boundaries. Well, as I've discussed in previous posts about negotiations, everything is multi-sided and one side isn't always the "bad guy." Anyway, we all need to have more discussions about these issues instead of making assumptions and hurting our own feelings.
The physical therapy on my shoulder is getting more challenging as more healing time passes. It will be three weeks tomorrow since my surgery. I fear the pain of increased movement because it can mean that it is causing some damage to the repairs, but it's also somewhat expected to have discomfort. It would be nice to know exactly what that threshold is before it's crossed. There also the concern of being overprotective of my shoulder and that causing it to become too stiff and immobile. Currently it still doesn't have the strength and range of motion for me to drive so that's another frustration.
I had thought that the energetic charge I felt from the auroras had passed quickly last week but over the weekend I felt it again - just a recharged feeling. Perhaps some little extra boost for healing. Maybe this sounds very hokey but I don't really care how it sounds because I've lived long enough to know that some experiences are real even if they sound "unscientific." To the left-handed path what is presented as science is often the most popular current opinions of the collective that aren't actually based on evidence but are confused as fact because more people believe it. The left-handed view says that consensus isn't proof in itself - it is only groupthink. This not to say that there isn't a lot of bunk on all sides all around. But my feeling that massive solar energy striking the planet can cause us to feel something different has been backed up by three seperate experiences. The left hand receives and the right hand gives according to some spiritual practices. Hocum Pocum Abracadabra LOL
Okay I think I'm losing the plot as they say. This is mostly my one-handed attempt to document the current life, as it is.
