Thursday, December 19, 2024

Solar Maximum: Big, Big Energy and Sensory Reset

This year has been so eventful and impactful. I know a lot of people are devastated by the big, unusual recent natural disasters, and I feel terrible for them. I hope that their suffering will ease soon. It's been hard to express my happiness and gratitude without worrying about sounding insensitive to everything that has been lost. However, I do feel compelled to express my appreciation and amazement about all the ways this year has given me new energy and perspectives.

We shouldn't be surprised that the sun's output of extra energy during this period of solar maximum would have multiple layers of effects on us here on Earth. In our human hubris we tend to forget that the sun is the biggest influence on our planet. Sure, we do have some power to cause changes and damage and destruction but that big flaming star that we call the Sun can really put us in our place with its powerful magnifying energy. It amplifies everything with that big energy. The weather events of this year have surely been intensified by the increased solar energy. Maybe humans have also manipulated that equation but that's a topic for another time. 

The way it feels to me is that we are being washed over with a cleansing reset. Sometimes it's necessary for things to get a deep cleaning and sometimes that can be uncomfortable or even painful. Stripping away the old and stagnant stuff creates a fresh new foundation for a sensory reset where we can see things with new perspectives and allow ourselves to shed old tired feelings and ideas and situations. 

One of the biggest resets for me this year has been getting some much needed maintenance and rejuvenation done on my house. I wanted my home to better reflect the love and appreciation that dwells here. This house is almost 24 years old and things were beginning to need attention and looking a little rough. In preparing for this work to be done I've had to do a lot of decluttering and disposing of stuff that no longer needed to take up my space. The house is looking so much better and I almost feel like I've got a new house. I look at these reclaimed spaces and feel so happy and satisfied. I feel very energized. 

I've been taking much better care of my health too and have lost about 40 pounds over the last year and a half or so. That certainly has increased my energy level and improved my mood. I'm still fat but I do feel better. That's just another of so many ways I feel like my senses have been reset. I previously wrote about feeling things that I'd basically given up on ever feeling again. There is a deep wish that these things don't disappear again anytime soon. 

At a holiday gathering with my best friends last night they all remarked about how different I seem now. The weight loss is part of it but they said I just had a glow about me that was new. I joked that it must be menopause and the hormonal stuff that sometimes feels like puberty again and that the hot flashes actually make me feel more alive. Well, they knew that there was more to that than I was saying out loud because they've known me long enough and I guess I don't have a very good poker face. Without giving all the details I had to tell them that indeed some kind of spark has essentially brought me back to life this year. I confessed to them that I had basically been dead for a very long time - more than ten years, probably closer to a dozen. By dead I mean the libido/life force was dead. I had convinced myself that I did not miss it and that it was not something that I'd ever feel again and I was mostly okay about it. The universe had different plans for me. I explained to them that I'm trying to transmute these feelings into a happy appreciation for the feelings themselves and a deep gratitude for their source. I'm so very happy to not be dead anymore. I'm trying not to worry too much about the possible fleeting nature of it all and I'm trying not to create expectations about how everything unfolds. I'm all too aware of boundaries and consequences and all those other barriers to full expression of this resurrection. Using this energy to improve the life I have is my focus but I can't dismiss the attachment and affection I have for the source of this spark. I also consider that it might be entirely made up by my imagination, but even if that is the case the feelings and visceral responses are completely real. The quality of my life is so vastly improved that it's easy to spread that joy regardless. I am happy.

So this year's big energy has truly reset my senses and has even given me new life. It's been a year full of rarities: giant snowstorm, total solar eclipse, Southern Auroras, a fantastic comet, and whatever else this is that has brought me back to life. I will hope it continues but I also want to be able to withstand any contraction of the rare aspects. It's natural to want to cherish what is very rare. My prayer for this next year is that I can continue to thrive in this renewed life while sharing my happiness with all those I love.